May 2004 Archives

its fun and stressful. thank god our new roomates are totally awesome!!!!

moving and other time consuming things

sorry no updates

first off we walked around astoria and saw this weird exibit at a local art gallery

it was really funny. go here to check out their project. awesome photos too.

the eagles hall was having a senior citizen sock hop at the same time as the PROPERTY IS THEFT showcase

first al larson played and i accompanied him on aarington's trusty serice bells (the ones that are always at dub narcotic) fun
then a band from eugene hurt my ears with loud bass. the songs were nice but the bass was hurting my ears
then jen kliese did some a capella songs and acordian songs. so folk.
then tobi vail played
then joe casio
then world

the teens didnt know what do do with us. we freaked them with chanting and cymbal throwing and moog noise and banjo primitive pluck. deeper than deep. the teens just excitedly talked about joey casio's set ("you're like a weird Beck, dude") until i spun a cymbal half way across the eagles hall at their feet. then, they tripped.

then we went to the bar with all the dudes and had a couple white russians and then we drove home. nice!

adiran and phil and genevieve are playing out there is astoria on the 31st at the eagles hall. i would strongly suggest going out there and stuff.

a

i just found this funny list honey and i wrote when i first got my blog:

things to write about in my blog
ambient music from the 70's
other cool musics i like
japanese tea ceremony
the japanese gardens
wabi sabi as a concept
favorite pornsite of the week
things honey and i did
fast food log of weekly intake of wendys by me and honey
wendy's product reviews
other foods we ate
philosophical things we talk about
spiritual things we talk about
things we wonder about
fun things we do together

what a loving caring person i am

recommended events in the future

show reviews of each show i see

diary of what i did all day

i also got this message from franz today:

I am into your blog, lots of great photo's and vibes.
So many deep new age sites, I spent at least five
hours on crystal links one night a while back. She
does the meditations with the midi.

things related to crystals:
midi meditations
paintings of ufo's
massage oil dried out on the pink shag rug
dudes who shave their entire body every day then sit
in bathtubs full of tapioca, like crystals but edible.
wizards, though technically wizards with crystals
might not be official-legit wizards.

peace,
great art work
great interweb presence

franz

hey franz here are the labels to that record for you to look at

and also for everyone else to look at too

the record has been in hiding because franz and i have been really lazy for like 2 years! we finally got our shit together and this puppy's gonna be ready in about 4 weeks or so! so there will be some new yume for everyone to dig on in 2004!
cool!

MUSIC SIDE

ETCHING SIDE

"Your Spiritual Laser
Ron Hutchcraft   --   A Word With You#3718
2 users gave this item an averaging rating of:

Bible Reference:    John -
We were over 2,000 miles from home, and my wife needed emergency gall bladder surgery. But, of course, God knew exactly what He was doing."

okok

how about:

or just go here:
HEALING CAVE OF LIGHT

which is a totally
HEALING COLOR CAVE

get the fuck in

lets get deeper

or deeper still

i fuckiing love the unarius society.

but wait
let me tshow you a bit of the crystal dialectic, a project by alex hubbard and franz prichard (the partnership that spawned yearofthedolphin.org and atlantian waves.........

go deeper into the crystal CRYSTAL VIBRATIONS ABOUND

ok im out

HERE ARE SOME CUTE SLEEPING KITTENS

how cute are these guys, huh?
im sorry ive been griping so much on the eweb. that shit gets OLD quick. no one wants to hear my whining about money and blah blah blah.
right now im pumped about:
yarnlazer.com
kittens
cdrs
listening to records at home from the big pile i havent gone through in a while
for example :john hassel FUCK YEAH
making music and art at one desk right next to honey whoes making art and music at her desk.
spraypaint drips
WORLD
chimes and bells
wet spring weather
trees
jyrk collective
watching vhs and dvds in bed
pizza and soda
salami
contact mics
shmitty the cat
riding on a donut
honey making me meals at home
big piles of clothes
gamelan vibe zone at church plans
vibe yurt/rainbow dome wth fest plans
p-funk records
gifts
drawing
jonas scanner
golive tutorials
chinese icy hot massage oil
new blanket from mom
curb your enthusiasm
all the bbs kids and all the blogger bros
new emulation of BUBBLE BOBBLE(PS does anyone have a sega emulator for os x so i can check out RIANBOW ISLAND where you are a prince who shoots rainbows) (or, for that matter, does anyone have the other game recommended to me by my great friend franz called TUBIN' where you tube down and throw beer cans at stuff???)
long distance phone calls to friends on the weekends
flyers and photos of old shows and old tours
google image search: sleeping kitten

it has recently come to my attention that i owe upwards of $1000 to the various governments of our fair country.
oh wait i already griped about this.
but there is news! an update! more awesome bills to pay!.......

so that speeding ticket that they never sent me a notice for, (even after i called to pay it months ago and they said the ticket never got processed) is now in collections and they doubled the price and are threatening to repo my shit. yikes! so add that on top of the parking tickets that i cant afford to pay...damn!

so i need that licensing deal RIGHT AWAY. if you have any leads on me selling one of my songs to someone making a comercial, ideally for a really cool car or soda, let me know! or even a movie. sci-fi or romantic comedy. either way...im not picky right now.

i also have a g-3 "blue and white" tower computer that needs to be sold. 3 hard drives of 6 gig, 7 gig and 8 gig respectively. lots of OS9.2 programs like protools and t-racks and toast and design programs and stuff. or i can clean the whole machine out
comes with a digi-design 2-in 2-out audiomedia iii card for recording.
also some TV video card so you can watch tv on your computer
and a 24x cd burner
sweet optical mouse
totally killer keyboard
cords

if you pay my california speeding ticket debt ($350), the computer is yours

if you also pick up one of my other various debts (inthe $200 range) i will give the the monitor. its a beautiful huge monitor. very nice. fancy. newish. bright. big. also very heavy. but big and beautiful and bright.

there are other things i would like to sell, like a wah wah pedal and a zvex "seek wah" trippers pedal. let me know if you are interested

love

adam

check this out
im working on the design of yarnlazer.com
i wish i knew how to use dreamweaver or golive. i guess i will learn. anyone know any good online tutorials for those programs?

love
adam

a lot of people (like at least 5) have responded to my last entry. they give me support and advice and love. for these things i am deeply appreciative. i must note, however, that although the jist of my last post was rather bleak, i in no way feel like i am in dire straights. i feel good about myself and my position in the world and my money problems. i get to have a lot of fun, and i pay the price for it because i know its worth it. total pizza.
so what if i owe money to the government and stuff? so what if i can barely cover my rent? so what if my youthful music "career" has come to a close. im doing ok. i have a great friends, im in love, i have clothes. its gonna be fine.

love
adam

this entry is filled with spelling errors, ommited words, type-o's, run-on sentences, fucked up punctuation and other shit im too tired and lazy to fix. its an indulgent entry. and kind of personal. its just that i've been thinking about all this shit lately. so yeah, i'm sorry its not pictures of me in frog suits or at the beach or whatever.

a

it all started when my girlfriend at the time decided she was dropping out of grad school and moving back to los angeles. i didnt want to move from one big strange city to another, so we sort of splintered. i moved to olympia and portland and just lived on my friend's couch for a few months. i still had some cash left over from my nice job in new york city.
i really wanted to go full time on music and i had calvins support and advice and couch. franz moved back from japan and we were ready to have a sincere go at yume bitsu again. so things were looking pretty good. i was unemployed, but the only bill i had to worry about was my cell phone. it was 2001, a few months before 9/11 happened and i felt lucky i had moved before all hell broke loose two blocks from where i used to work.
so we got the group back together and recorded a great bunch of jams that showed our musical growth and wider range of musical influences than our previous three records. and modest mouse had heard our second record and wanted us to open up for them. so things seemed up. after finishing the tracking of what was to become "the golden vessyl of sound" we quickly headed down to LA, then arizona in a rented van and toured with modest mouse for about a week, replacing the then unknown Shins for a few dates and joining up with a then up and coming !!!. so we were in excelent company. but our shows were a little weird now that the "band" had been reduced to me and franz a loop pedal and a cd player. we did our best to rock the crowds, but our creativity didnt quite transfer on stage in from of the MOR indie crowd attracted to the events. we were just too weird, too under-rehearsed, too all over the place. there was no 4 peice band going off for 15 minutes with guitar solos and keyboards and jay slamming the drums... we did, howeveer make enough money and friends and fans to keep me wanting to go all the way, to try and push our band up to the next level musically, fame-wise, and financially.
after we got back to LA, franz decided to move there with his girlfriend. meanwhile i went back to olympia with a few hundred bucks, slept on calvin's couch again, started the breakup process with my girlfriend and finished the yume bitsu record. i was up and down the coast that winter and spring many times, and toured the east coast with surface of eceon, my new york/CT bro's...
the yume record (and the first surface record) finaly came out in the summer of 2002. they both looked and sounded great, they were selling OK and i planned a 6 week tour around the country in support of them. most of the shows were pretty small but we made enough money to get by. i slept on couches in oly and portland after we were done and planned a japanese tour for august 2002 with hockenkiet. over there people treated us like stars and i was kind of feeling the momentum build for us. but on the way back to the US franz told me he wanted to settle down for a bit in LA, get a job, go to grad school and spend quality time with his lady before we worked on another record, or toured again.
so i decided to move back to portland for real. i moved into the famed Birdnest house, started making friends with the dudes inside, started getting deeper with steve and jona and ritchey and bobby and greg and kyle and everyone else in town. i was pretty broke so i started working the same flakey, hippy construction job i had done a bit after college before i moved to nyc. it was totally the opposite of getting paid to make music, and for the first time in over a year i needed to pay rent. it was hard work, i was more bored and lonely than ever before. i was single, my band was on a deep "break" once again (aside from being flown out to atlanta GA for a 4th of july music fest), and i was having to pay rent in a house.
i had been starting to experiment with playing shows on my own all summer and in the fall dave longstreth and i planned a mini tour of the northeast, just the two of us in a truck playing weird shows, both as unreleased unkown performers. plus surface of eceon and landing had been invited to play at the esteemed psychedelic terrastock festival held in boston in october.
so, scared of the responisbilites and stable boredom of a straight life in portland, i flew back east to new york to hang with dave, play some shows, and hang with hubbard in nyc. i met a weird girl there that was similarly on loose footing. we partied a lot, got very very broke. the tour was a weird disaster, i extended my ticket back home and bummed around the city for almost two months , dreading a dead portland winter. i ran out of money a couple of times and had to borrow from friends. it was truely embarassing. but i finally got picked up by the badger king when they came across the country on their fist national tour. i drove down the eastern seaboard with them.
i raked up just enough money to buy myself a ticket back to portland from atlanta. i got back in early december. i was totally broke, worked as little as possible doing construction with my hippy boss, barely paid my bills and got drunk a lot.
i decided that i desperately needed to have a solo record out so i could try and maintain the momentum of the touring musicians lifestyle i was leading. maybe sell some more records. maybe get a little more fame and have some more doors open up for me.
i created the [[[[VVRSSNN]]]] record in early 2003. it was a mixture of stuff i had worked on by myself and with friends for the last couple of years. kyle and i had an awesome time in mid-march 2003 hand-painting 500 record covers. the revolving cd artwork with artwork by 7 of my friends was really cool too. i was proud to have made something on my own and excited to get back into music full time. i was also anxious to make some sort of carreer-ish statement out of it.
but i was still dead broke. i was taking on more bills that my kind mother had been paying for me ever since i left my good job in nyc in 2001.
all of a sudden i had to pay for car insurance, a credit card, a cell phone, my rent. utilities.
i was pretty burnt out on working lazy hippy construction jobs. in spring i did a tour with the little wings lions of acorn.
i tried to open up some shows with a mini set of my new solo material, but i felt my stuff was too weird and free for the environment. in the summer i toured backing calvin johnson with jay and kyle as "the suns of the soil".
kyle and i shared a mini set at the begining of the evening (before the local bands, mind you) once again people were less receptive to my music than kyle's. it was an understandable thing, but i was still bummed out. i felt like the odd man out at the perpetual folk family tour... i was surching for a way to communicate with the kids in front of me but my music was fitting less and less within the structure set up by all my awesome k-folk or even electronic folk buddies. i just wanted to trip out, make noises, be no-wavey at times, get caustic and scarey and get soft andambient at the same time. it wasnt exactly what k kids were looking for.
at the same time, though, i was making more friends with the rest of the portland music community, trying to find common artists outside of my tight knit family of friends. it was slow going. and i was still dead broke if not in debt. late bill statements were becoming more and more regular. i didnt want to give up the dream of being a sucessfull musician. like all of the ones i was good friends with,that i knew mildly, or that i had read about somewhere. or seen on tv as a kid. i wanted to live my dream. but i was leaning hard on everyone in order to keep the flame alive. i moved in with a girl right as were coming to the realization that, although we were both awesome people, we really weren't meant for eachother.
franz came up to portland for august 2003 to set up a dolphin festival and record a new yume bitsu record. we got about 1/8 of it done. the festival was amazing. i was deep into the electro ambient gospel of UNITY HEALING VIBRATION LAZER ENERGY or whatever. yume jammed out with the cherry blossoms and the portland crew represented with steve djsing rob and jona playing etc. fun times.

i then booked a fall tour with dave again, with jona and rob playing a bunch of the same shows, also karl blau and dave mathies, the K CMJ showcase, ect ect. 6 weeks. to support my new record and in anticipation of his.
i fell deeply madly and totally in love a few days before we left. we talked on the phone every night of that tour, getting to know eachother, connecting and falling deeper in love on an intellectual and spiritual level for 6 weeks before we could be together in person. it was true magic. in contrast, the tour was a minor disaster. no one was buying my records, no one was at any of the shows, dave and i egged eachother on to get weirder and weirder on stage as we realized no one knew or cared who we were anyway (that was actually a really sweet aspect of it) i started not even wanting to get on stage after daves amazing brilliant shattering but also alienating and jarring sets. they were just too follow. i would just make some half assed ambient music under the quiet roar of the 10 people that came talking, or play blistering solos of led zep, or do stand up. i tryed selling my cds for $5 a pop, then brought it down to the absurd $2. then just gave away as many as possible. i felt my efforts in music, all the cds released, all the good reviews and interviews had come to nothing. and i was still dead broke.
so i got back to portland about 6 months ago. ive been living and loving with honey everyday since then. i told my friends i was retiring. i told them i was burnt out on playing music, making records, going on tour, selling myself, setting up just to get let down.
i wasnt about to go back to my old construction job again. honey was so overwhelmingly busy with her business that i just kinda jumped on board and started working with her every night. we were together and i was at home in the show/party vibes. it weened me off of my tour addiction.
but there was no money rolling in. there still isnt. if it we'rent for a couple lucky bail-outs of christmas and birthday cash from my loving family, aunts and uncles and grandmother, i wouldnt be able to even try and pay my rent or bills. im still very behind on bills. i havent had a stead job in almost 3 years now. and without a new shiney record coming out, without the attention that was mildly given yume bitsu 3 years ago, without venues and an audience to support the kind of art music i want to play, things are looking pretty bleak.
so ive got to figure this all out. i need to pay of my credit card, find a way to pay my bills and rent ecery month and not fall behind. doing sound at holocene about three times a month and flyering for berbattis twice a month has made me about enough to cover food and gas for the last three months. i need about 5 times as much work/money to sustain life without selling everything i own on ebay and living in my car.
im daunted. im scared. i feel leveled. like my ego has been crushed. im insecure. i feel insignificant. small and ignorant and naive and spoiled. disenchanted. stressed out and embarassed. my pride is wounded. i make myself out to be a martyr. i give too much to try to prove how much im worth. i over-think things. i over-analize and under-act. i fret. i avoid. i procrastinate. im listless and unmotivated. i feel directionless.
if it werent for being so madly in love, i would have lost my shit months ago. it has been the one bright shining light to my otherwize kinda screwed-up life. i know i need to "get my shit together". i would if i knew what that meant, if i knew how to do it, if i knew what that was. if i felt inspired or driven. but for now im kind of at a loss as to what to do with myself. i love dunes and all its trying to do for the creative community. i love my lady (honey owens) and everything we do and experience and create together. but i need to figure out the money thing immediately. its just fucking ridiculous. honestly.
hopefully this dot com idea will make me some extra money. but probably not, at least for a while. i cant even afford to host a website right now, let alone buy the equipment i need to do it right. so yeah. money. right now. always and forever i need a little bit of you, old greenbacked brother who gives me so much grief.

fuggit lets go bowling

love

adam