Personalities: November 2005 Archives

So there are some shows that I would never readily admit to watching. Sometimes they are grossly and obviously skewed towards another demographic, or not quite funny enough, or lame with out being kitchy, or shows I would be embarrassed to be found watching if someone else was in the room. And yet, there are times where I am sitting there—remote poised, yes—indisputably watching these shows for way too many minutes. It’s like they have some sort of pull on my brain. Not a good pull; an evil pull. The pull of the dark side of television.

The best example I can come up with in recent months is the show R U the Girl, now over, that aired on UPN and centered around the remaining members of TLC looking for another girl to join their group and revitalize their career. This had all the makings of a train wreck wrapped in a reality show: C-list celebrities; performances that included singing, dancing, and wardrobe choices; an attempt to let the girls “design” a cd cover; unabashed kissing up; crazy people. This might have been an avoidable show if it weren’t for a ridiculous contestant named O’so Krispie who lured me in with the ludicrous name and weird disposition. Additionally, the premise of the show—replacing a single member of a trio—closed the door for any other shows. Barring any unforeseen accidents, we won’t see R U the Girl II.

Needless to say, the embarrassment factor was high while watching this show. In order to rank my other shows, I have set up an embarrass-o-meter to rate the level of shame I feel related to the specific show, with the number of O’so Krispie heads relating directly to the level of embarrassment, like so:

I’m not sure if this serves any purpose other than general embarrassment; perhaps you can share your “secret shows” and we can be even. Without further ado, Shows That Cause Liz Embarrassment to Watch:

Trading Spouses is unfortunately one of those shows that started off as a 5 Krispie header and has painfully worked its way down to a one header. ABC even has a version of this show and I—god help me—I actually PREFER the Fox version. This is bad. The show isn’t even good. The people are horrible and never learn lessons, and all you come away with is sorrow for the children whose LIVES are our entertainment. Nonetheless, I can’t wait to have kids and become a housewife so I can be on this show.

Moving right along:

This is another painful show to watch. The misunderstandings and jealousies the shows are based on register at some astronomical level beyond which any indulgent sitcom-watching viewer should have to endure. And yet…I get transfixed easily. Especially when there’s a Leah Remini “actress hiding pregnancy fat phase” episode.

Okay, this one? No excuse.

I…don’t actually have any commentary here. I am white and I occasionally watch Girlfriends. I’m sure there’s a fraction of a Nielson rating percentage out there for me.

Aaand, continuing in the vein of “not the target demographic”:

This show comes on Saturday mornings when nothing else is on and I’m killing time before going to yoga. Basically, Raven has psychic visions that are realized in some kooky way during the episode. J hates this show so much he will leave the room if it is on, so I rarely watch anything beginning to end. That doesn’t mean that when I flip the channel I don’t obsessively wonder how Raven could possibly end up kissing Chelsea’s boyfriend and what she will do to attempt to alter fate. Seriously, anyone see the end of that one?

Last but not least, my most embarrassing watch:

In my defense, I only really watch seconds of the show in the early morning when I’m flipping around for a weather report. There is nothing good about this show! The acting, premises, clichés, everything is horrible! I just sometimes stay on the channel too long. Damn that Judith Light and her bulky shoulder pads!

I hate to leave you with such bad viewing, so I'll give you a little treat for your very own computer. Here is something you might think you should be embarrassed to watch, but there is no reason for shame.

The DC zoo has rigged up a Panda Cam so you can check in on a BABY PANDA throughout your work day. BABY PANDA! He sleeps a lot, but you'll be hooked after you see him eat some bamboo or play on the rocks. If I were a tv exec, I would seriously consider pushing aside any of the above shows for a Panda Cam hour.