I had the shingles.
Archived from July 5, 2007
I had shingles. That's right, I'm not even 70 and I got the shings.
I was really embarrassed about it because it's a "herpes zoster", so I was afraid people would think I had herpes and that they could get herpes by hugging or touching me or sharing air. This clogged impression of reality was not helped along by the substitute doctor I saw about my shingles who told me I was "EXTREMELY CONTAGEOUS". What he failed to specify was the following shingle contagion fun facts:
1. No one can get shingles from someone else who has shingles.
2. Shingles is only contagious as chicken pox.
3. Shingles is only contagious if you touch the breakout region.
Apparently I was not really contagious at all, except to people who have never had chickenpox. Sometimes that can be very dangerous because if you're older and have never had chickenpox it can be really extreme and kill you.
If you've made the connection between chicken pox and herpes - congratulations. It's true, if you're ever embarrassed about having herpes, just tell someone that chicken pox is herpes and that the only truly 'clean' people in this world are kissing and touching virgins who have never had chicken pox. Otherwise basically everyone in America is herpetic. Although that is not a medically sound statement, it can do in a pinch.
You might be confused about the connection between shingles and chickenpox. Let me explain.
SHINGLES IS the CHICKENPOX VIRUS that has gone DORMANT in your NERVES. One day, typically when you're elderly, the virus will be reactivated because of your poor immune system. The other common scenario when the virus will reactivate is when people have AIDS.
I think I might have also been embarrassed about having shingles because I didn't want people running around thinking I had AIDS. I have had a number of HIV/AIDS tests and they have all turned out negative. Unless my last test was wrong, and/or my current partner's tests have been wrong, I DO NOT HAVE AIDS. Needless to say, my shingles development was VERY PUZZLING. It was made more puzzling by the fact that I was not sick. I not only was not sick but I was doing an elimination diet where you find out what foods you're allergic to by removing gluten from your diet and other irritants, basically everything other than rice and vegetables. I hadn't even added in the allergens yet, except corn, which apparently I'm allergic to. (I did wonder if my shingles was a corn rash).
I developed shingles on May 23rd or 24th, just before Memorial Day weekend, when my mom came to visit. I asked my mom what she thought it was. She said "bites". I guess in a way it's bites, virus bites where the viruses bite you from the inside and the 'bites' burn your flesh and scar you. I didn't get in to see the doctor until after the holiday weekend. By that time I was very sick with some kind of awful respiratory nightmare plus shingles. Because the substitute doctor told me I was "extremely contagious" I felt I needed to quarantine myself in my apartment until the shingles-plague went away. This took 2 weeks. It is notable that the reason I didn't know the details of my contagion was because I couldn't reach my regular doctor by phone. I was so afraid I was afflicted with the carnage equivalent of Ebola I didn't want to go into his office and kill off the many geriatric patients who frequent the joint. The office is so disorganized he didn't get my message for basically the entire 2 weeks.
So I stayed in my apartment and my friend Scott brought groceries to me once or twice. It is notable that although shingles is "not contagious" my friend Scott, who did not touch my shingle rash, nor actually enter my apartment, now has an identical shingle rash of his own, just one month after I had shingles - coincidence? Or consequence...moohoohahahaaa.
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