Shingles and Slavery
Archived from July 12, 2007
During my 2 week shingles self quarantine, before I knew the facts about shingles contageousness, I watched some documentaries. Specifically, I watched:
The "New York" documentary discs 1-8
The "Chicago, City of the Century" documentary discs 1-4
The "Slavery" documentary discs 1-4
Sitting in my apartment, watching hours and hours of documentary, I felt like I was there, back in the days of primarily the 18th and 19th centuries. Witnessing 18th and 19th century activities like exploiting the land and the people of the land and people from foreign lands. I tried to watch the discs in time order, starting with the first NY disc which began in about 1611 with the Dutch East India Company bringing slaves and indentured servants to New Amsterdam. I then watched the first disc of slavery, which started around the same point in American history.
I was really immersed in American slavery for hours upon hours and days upon days. Although the NY and Chicago documentaries explored plenty of other topics, one major theme throughout all 3 was American slavery and terrible discrimination against African Americans. It was pretty devastating. Although the Slavery documentary doesn't try to shock you, it's still horrible that America did those deeds. At some points I had to cry because I just felt so sorry for so many people who were slaves. It just wasn't fair, they were people too. It was just too sad. Sometimes I can't help but cry at horrible injustice and discrimination.
(On a side note, if you're ever in a quiz show about me the #1 way to get me to cry is to show me something where people are rising above adversity. I cry like a punctured hose at civil rights rallies, abolition speeches, The Underground Railroad, black guys fighting in the Civil War and holocaust museums where they tell you about people who tried to save Jews and other holocaust victims. Seriously, I'm getting choked up right now thinking about those things. I also cry at the movie Antonia's Line and Deep Impact every time I see them. Oh my god, and one time I saw The Color Purple and had to pause the movie because I was crying so hard I could neither see nor hear.)
After about 10 days of never leaving except to go to work on the weekend when no one would be there to infect, I decided to go to 7-11. It was nighttime and I was tired of eating rice. So I decided to go to 7-11 and get some ice cream. That's right, ice cream. Dairy ice cream; the dreaded enemy of immune health. But at this point any meal could be my last meal, because I could die any minute of shingles. So I went for it. It was late at night and I thought not many people would be in there to infect.
I approached the 7-11 that night and the world felt a little different to me. Probably because I'd been in the 19th century for so long. I waited at the corner to walk across the street. A man of the African American persuasion came to the same corner. My first thought was "oh my god, if I smile at this guy will he get lynched?" Those were literally my thoughts. Then I thought "no, of course not, because he's free to do and to be, just like me (I am)." Then (keep in mind I was really sick and hadn't left my house in roughly a week) I thought "I am definitely going to smile at this guy, so he knows I'm on his side." As we crossed the street, I gave myself a mental pat on the back for being so progressive in such a hostile world.
As I opened the door to the 7-11, a woman - of the African American persuasion and heavy with child - was exiting as I was entering. I thought "oh my god, this woman probably never gets helped because she's black, yet she's just as pregnant as any white woman has ever been. I must show her that I'm not like the other white people; I know she needs help so I will thwart convention and hold this door open for her! Black women and white women should be on the same side, and I am on the same side as this pregnant black woman!!" Then I held the door open for her. I smiled and said hello and then...she smiled back at me and said thank you! It was great. I felt like I was on top of the Underground Railroad, helping people who are cruelly enslaved get to safety.
Then, as I was walking along the isles of the 7-11 it dawned on me - I have shingles and that woman was pregnant with a baby. What if I just gave her unborn baby shingles? What if that baby can't get out of the womb because of shingles? What if I just unwittingly gave this woman shingles and it causes birth defects? What kind of "progressive" (or "pregressive", since she was pregnant) person am I? I was trying to be a friend to the discriminated against. I was trying to show the world that black and white can come together and live side by side and hold the door for each other. WHAT IF SHE THINKS I TRICKED HER AND WAS REALLY ACTING OUT AN EXTREME FORM OF RACISM BY GIVING HER SHINGLES AND COMPROMISING HER PREGNANCY?!!?!
There was nothing I could do. I backed against the freezer and slid down to the floor, crying the desperate howl of the misunderstood. I shook my fist at the sky, and yelled "why god, why? Why must you make us suffer?!" Then, in an effort to try to connect with my Afro-brethren I broke out in the famous Negro Spiritual "Let My People Go!" followed by a bluesy rendition of "Summertime"
No one got it, it was awkward. A month later I moved.
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