This is a test of my system by Thom

February 27, 2006 12:54 AM Permalink

A journey through Thom Bartholomew Wong, real middle name unknown.

(Sidebar: I clicked on my picture at the Ultimate Blogger 2 homepage, and was confronted by a write-up I could not at first place. Then I realized it was from the article introducing my column, and that it made me sound like a colossal numbtard. I don't use Google because everyone uses Google...uhm - I do use Google. So help me god, I use Google. Please believe me. Please.)

When I first saw The Ultimate Blogger 2 contest at URBN*HNKG, I jumped back from my computer and pointed an accusing finger at the screen. They had stolen my idea! Then I realized that I had never had an idea for a blogging contest, but only thought I had had it.

Other things I have thought I had, but really didn't:

true love
toe cancer
Mario Lemieux's rookie card
the answer to question 12 on the Euclid Math Contest
string

I was born in a small suburb of Montreal. If my parents had moved just six months later I would have been born in Scotland, and I often wonder if, had I grown up there, my Scottish accent would make me more attractive to the ladies. These are the kinds of things that keep me up at night, until my wife hits me.

When I was eleven I was given the longest detention in the history of my school - an entire month of garbage duty. To this day I still don't remember why. Sometimes I think about going back to see if this record is memorialized anywhere. Because if it is, that would make every squeeze of the garbage tongs worth it. I would point to the trophy--I'm assuming it would be a trophy--and say to the other kids in detention, "Yep, that was me. An entire month on the Route. Never even flinched." And then I'd spit.

Canadians are famous for a few things: hockey, peacekeeping, the use of strange dipthongs. Which means, if I understand this competition correctly, I will last about 5 minutes. However, being Canadian I am also so inoffensive that perhaps I can sneak under the radar right into the final.

Short. Pensive. Of average build. These are all words that describe me. There are others, some with even more syllables. But none of these multi-syllabic utterances can really describe my truest essence, which remains ineffable. Or so I thought, until I came across this song deep in the bargain bin of life. It, more than anything else, captures what it means to be me. I offer it to you as a token of my friendship, and the friendships we will forge in the fires of Ultimate Blogger 2.

It's six o'clock in the morning friends. Let us begin.

Alias - More Than Words Can Say

By: Thom | | February 27, 2006

Comments: