Favorite Strip Club Client of the Day
Posted on: June 2, 2005 4:51 PM
This is really random, but I had so much fun writing it on my blog I thought I'd share it with you all as my last ever writing for Ultimate Blogger.
Francois, 47, 4'9" with the physique of a hobbit and eyes which face in opposite directions (east and west, respectively) enters Pimping Pussies most days between the hours of 4 and 6. Francois hobbles over to his favorite table, orders a Bud Light, and after consuming three of these, is inebriated enough to cackle merrily to himself and dance like an extra from 'Saturday Night Fever' with whoever is unfortunate enough to be in his proximity.
Francois has known tragedy in his life. Just ten months ago his mother, with whom he had lived all of his life, passed sadly away.
"It was terrible", recalls Mike, the Pussies' handyman. "He used to come in, order his beer and cry."
One day Don the head waiter saw him, and demanded to know why Francois was weeping so copiously. His mother just died, came the reply.
"Well, if he'd spent a little more time at home lookin' after her, and less time in the fuckin' titty bar she probably wouldn't be dead!"
A pragmatic response.
Francois finally got over his tragic loss when, on Halloween, he won third prize in the Pussies dress-up competition for his memorable effort at recreating Russell Crowe in Gladiator. He recalls this moment, eyes dimmed with tears, every time I hand him a new Bud Light.
Before my heart was softened by over-exposure to the darker side of NY, I may have labelled Francois Prick No. 8 in my 'Pricks I Have Known' Series. But now, older, wiser and sympathetic, he gains a special place in my heart and that of my readers as Gladiator Francois: Favorite Pussies Client of June 2nd, 2005. Congratulations Francois.
Oh and a message for Lyova: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN YOU BASTARD!!!
mimi you have been a wonderful contestant, I hope you'll come visit us at the urban honking Rhi-zome Network here in portland.
keep writing.
Posted by: hason at June 3, 2005 10:13 PM
I've always been a handy pussyman. (ba-dum-chik)
Oh, dear Mimi. How is that you've regained posting privileges? Glad to see you back.
Posted by: Liam at June 2, 2005 8:51 PM