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PLAYBOYS & PAGERS by Lyova

Posted on: May 06, 2005 07:59 PM

players pagers.jpg

The embryo years of 1990's in my area was marked by the rise and fall of the pager. Every ultra masculine of Grodno was to fashion it upon the discotek if he must be considered total playboy! I was one of these playboys. The pager, it provided me with multiples of womanfolk for the first eras of my large manhood. It bring me love. It bring me sex. It took my grandmother's money. And then it broke my heart...

My friend Ivan was the first. When he installed his premiere in "Malinka" bar (the local at Vasilishki) I make the green eyes to him on the spot and later I punch him. How could I be without these awesome technics? So I think some time to find high profit job and then disbursed my grandmother's pension into my new toy. It quickly become a most supreme revolutionary thing for me! I communicate through cipher with legions of the opposed genders and invent super-potent and, dare I say, total abnormal code for all my sexes! But the real joker of my pager was this: with it I must run many parallel erotical adventures in simultaneous and have my instruments all over the shops!

These pagers, they made facile the complex of sex and rural warfare. You get a 690, you know you will beat high scores tonight! You send a 691, you can be 100% that you will be acquainted with something extra amazing! You get a 510 and you assemble your pitchforks toward Vasiliy's collective farm... I made swift to develop the playboy reputations throughout the North Western lake district border zone of Byelorussia. No woman's body was alienated from me. No woman was unfamiliar with my special code names for suchlike "ultimate nosedive" and "ruminating the hairy trumpet". But my glory lives were short, and soon came the mobile telephone. Suddenly I could not be freed of being talked at by my womans, soon they would be aware of all the others. I had to lower my performances, and in the end, abandon the life of total primo playboy that the pager had bestowed to me. I raise my glass to these forgotten years, as a tear of old sex comes in my eyes...

lyova pager code.jpg
(click for translation of pager codes. I add that the English is much less evocative and masculine parlance than the Byelorussian, so translations must be approximate).

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Comments:

OH MY WORD!!
This is truly amazing!

Posted by: Loyal Lyova Fan at May 6, 2005 07:52 PM

HOLY SHIT.

Posted by: Jona at May 6, 2005 07:56 PM

im very impressed lyova (and happy that you exercise caution in your sexual escapades). im very impressed by your music as well. may i ask who the original artist is? i'd like to see if i could find some more on solarseek.

Posted by: james at May 7, 2005 01:33 AM

Lyova, you are fucking killing me. Are you real? Are you really real?

Your song is pure genius! I think you might be Eugene Hutz's long lost bratr.

If by some slim chance you don't win this competition, please PLEASE promise all your loyal new fans that you'll start a blog.

p.s. Dnes ti to velmi slusi! Byla jste nekdy v praze? mejte se hezky! hodne stesti! Toto je muj krasny cesky, ale bohuzel polske ne, ruske ne.

Posted by: courtney at May 7, 2005 04:06 AM

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