Meet Jane
Posted on: May 13, 2005 11:50 PM
Me: Hello, Jane. Who are you and tell me why I would want to interview you?Jane: I am you sister and you're interviewing me because you thought the deadline for this entry was tomorrow when it is in fact in 45 minutes.
Me: Good answer. So what is it that you do these days?
Jane: Well, I work as an engineer, but I really just surf the internet and read Ultimate Blogger updates all day.
Me: And how much do they pay you for that?
Jane: About twice as much as they pay you for being a teacher.
Me: Wow...sucks for me. So everyone has been trying to get me to drink and eat chocolate around here, but I don't eat chocolate. You don't eat chocolate either, right? Why is that?
Jane: You realize that you keep on asking me questions that you know the answer to, right? But I'll answer your question anyway because it's a good cause. I started boycotting chocolate when I found out that most of the world's chocolate is harvested by children forced into slavery in the Ivory Coast. There is chocolate that I eat though...it's called Fair Trade chocolate. And as you would have it, May 14 is World Fair Trade Day.
Me: Wow, what a coincidence that I would ask you about it today. Is there anything else that you boycott for similar reasons?
Jane: Yeah, they're called Conflict Diamonds. You can read about it with that link I just gave you.
Me: Cool. Let's go ahead and change topics now. Grandma wants to know when you are going to get married and have some great-grandchildren for her. Any comments?
Jane: No.
Me: Okay, good interview. Tell mom and dad I said hi, okay?
Jane: That's it? You're not going to win the challenge with this interview, you know?
Me: Probably not, but can you leave some really good comments to make it seem better than it really is?
Jane: I always do. You better hurry up and post this before the deadline is over.
Me: Okay, thanks. Bye.
This made me laugh! You have genuine humour Sonny. I appreciate that.
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 14, 2005 12:04 AM
(it's been a while since i lived in the states, so i could be wrong but...) as far as i can tell, france has completely outdone the US as far as fair trade is concerned. i have a choice of something like 10 different organic and fair trade chocolates to choose from. plus i buy fair trade rice, sugar, shoes, and of course coffee.
and last saturday a farmer from a cooperative organic chocolate farm in bolivia (ithink) spoke at my fair-trade coffee and tea house.
and since you, too, are in france, all this can be yours.....
Posted by: robin at May 14, 2005 12:13 AM
Robin, You lucky duck. I have to drive 20 miles to find fair trade chocolate and I have a choice of 3 different brands. They're good though, so I shouldn't complain.
Sonny, this post is *awesome*. You were totally robbed, but I guess Willow's post did have some pictures and things to click on. Hers was good.
You probably should have worked in a question about Mr. T to improve your chances, but I don't know how else you could have made this better. It's funny, it's topical, and you had shout-outs to your parents and your grandmother. Good work.
:) -j.
Posted by: enjanerd at May 14, 2005 5:05 AM
Hey, is this discrimination? This post isn't listed when I click on #4 for the Challenge Entries. Fishy...
Posted by: enjanerd at May 14, 2005 5:20 AM
This was clearly the best entry. And by "best" I of course mean "most hastily assembled hunk of dog turds". Best entry of them all.
Posted by: Craig at May 14, 2005 6:26 AM
Oh, come on, Craig. That's totally harsh. Did you read the other entries? Did you finish reading all the entries? I bet you finished reading this one.
And he made you laugh a little, didn't he? It's good. Admit it. Just because he wasn't creative enough to go with your Mr. T idea doesn't mean this can't be good too.
Posted by: enjanerd at May 14, 2005 6:34 AM
I read at least 20% of the other entries, and a couple of them all the way through. This one just wasn't my style. Who is this Jane? What do we really know about her? What is she passionate about? What's her favorite color? Type of tree? What are her feelings on Mr. T? These are hard-hitting questions but all Sonny did was throw her softballs about chocolate and grandmothers. What's next, questions about kittens and dewy mornings? No, this "Jane" if that is her real name deserved a real hatchet job and Sonny barely slapped her with a wet noodle.
Posted by: Craig at May 14, 2005 6:41 AM
It's all there: Sonny's sister, passionate about the internet, chocolate, and diamonds (though not the way other people are passionate about those things, maybe), favorite color is probably green (the tree-hugging hippie), loves all trees (again, the tree-hugging hippie). And well, yeah, like I said before. Sonny totally dropped the ball on the Mr. T questions.
Posted by: enjanerd at May 14, 2005 6:51 AM
Well there you have it. Jamie thinks this is uninteresting and boring. Well when that guy thinks something's boring, man, you know it's boring. Anyway, here's another thing to not like about this shadowy "Jane" character. She doesn't eat regular chocolate. Now, I may not know many things about stuff, but I know one thing: when you stop eating chocolate like regular people, the terrorists have won. They hate our ability to eat as much chocolate as we want almost as much as they hate our immaculately decorated bathrooms and our big-breasted American women. So if "Jane" doesn't want to help the terrorists destroy our American way of life, she'll take a bite out of a big ball of good old-fashioned American chocolate, which was most likely made in Guatemala or Panama or, you know, one of those loser countries.
Posted by: Craig at May 14, 2005 7:35 AM
Now Craig has gotten boring and uninteresting. Old jokes about terrorists winning. No ear for parody, no voice for dissent without coming across as a dick. BTW: I'm not a guy, I'm the hottest chick your limp dick will never get near. Douche-bag.
Posted by: Jamie at May 14, 2005 8:13 AM
Wow, that went downhill in a hurry. Hottest "woman" in the universe, you finally have a name, and thy name is Jamie. By the way, douchebag is one word.
Posted by: Craig at May 14, 2005 8:38 AM
That did go downhill in a hurry.
Here's a thought... Jamie, when you get bored and become uninterested, stop reading. Go out and do something.
Posted by: enjanerd at May 14, 2005 9:45 AM
Enjanerd,
Aren't you Sonny's sister? I don't know if you're Jane, but I was under the impression that you were related.
http://enjanerd.com/
Posted by: Azure at May 14, 2005 11:25 PM
HA!!! So glad you got in, Sonny.
You are such a stud for competing while traveling through Europe.
Posted by: Steve Schroeder at May 13, 2005 11:57 PM