Perfect Summer Recipes
Posted on: May 20, 2005 11:16 PM
Mid May in Portland is awesome. We get these brilliant, sunny days punctuated by sudden thunderstorms that last all of 20 minutes. After nine months of rain the sunlight makes people a little loopy. Pale computer nerds (like me) blink and grin on the sidewalk; every patch of grass is coveted by overnight frisbee enthusiasts. Shoulders are revealed by strappy tank tops, toenails are buffed and polished in anticipation of flip-flops. Everyone is talking about summer- making plans, hyping events. I get really caught up in it- thinking about weekends on the coast, day-trips to Mt. Hood, parties in Olympia. Then I remember that graduate school begins exactly one month from today, and I will be in class from 8-5 four days a week. My evenings and weekends will be spent reading. And writing. And then more reading. My studies will effectively gobble up my summer, and while I am thrilled about school, I can't help mourning the lazy summer afternoons I'll miss, drinking beer and eating Smart Dogs with my homies.
Because I love you dear readers, and because I will not be able to live out my grand summer fantasies, I have put together the following recipes for Perfect Summers, that you may follow them, and I may live vicariously through you. Each recipe is devoted to an artist or lifestyle that I romanticize, but that is actually pretty miserable when taken out of context. (Please feel free to create your own Perfect Summer and post it in the comment section. It'll give me more to daydream about when my eyes drift from endless pages of socio-economic arguments on public education.)
JD Salinger Summer
*Go on road trip to undesirable location with people you've found off Craigslist (Bonus if car is un-air-conditioned/cramped)
*Invite the strangers into your home and serve them outdated cocktails
*Write cryptic poems with soap on bathroom mirror
*Befriend a child and seek her council on important matters
Indie Rock Summer
*Purchase a small truck or large station wagon
*Find an ironic neo-folk artist to tour with (Bonus points if she wears Victorian-esque dresses and has a hypnotic voice paired with vapid lyrics)
*Do not drink alcohol. Drink soda- fancy soda
*All of your clothes must be a size too small. Remember- ironic rat-tails are the ironic mullets of 2005!
*Make out with ladies or men you know only from the Internet
F. Scott Fitzgerald Summer
*Wear flowing white garments that drape just so (add feathers to taste)
*Drive drunk
*Fall in love with an exquisitely beautiful but emotionally frigid and ultimately unattainable man or woman. Devote your summer to impressing them with your sophistication and wealth. (This may require a pre-step: become wealthy and sophisticated)
*Drink gin. A lot of gin
*Be consumed by your own appetites
Wes Anderson/Owen Wilson Summer
*Make gang by printing identical t-shirts for your friends
*Design a petty crime and construct elaborate plans and intricate maps to carry it off
*Fall for someone completely unexpected and inappropriate
*Sneak into a motel pool and go swimming at night
*Take up cigarette smoking
Joni Mitchell Summer
*Go to Europe for the summer and talk about how much you love the ol' US of A
*Drink red wine with psychedelic poets
*Beat yourself up for driving men away with your depth and longing
*Wear silk underwear
JRR Tolkien Summer
*Invent your own language
*Steal your sister-in-law's engagement ring
*Throw into fireplace
*Don't shave
heh, looks like I'm headed for some weird combination of F Scott Fitzgerald and Wes Anderson
Posted by: KARINA at May 20, 2005 11:26 PM
Willow,
Since I will be moving cross country this summer, I shall surely indulge in JD Salinger summer...
You are delightful and inventive as always.
Posted by: J at May 20, 2005 11:32 PM
Willow. Very funny and awesome. I feel like I should contribute my own, but I'm not feeling clever enough.
Nevertheless, it seems like I should tell you: to me, drunk driving is one of those things that I just have a hard time finding funny. Which, you know, makes me a stick in the mud or whatever. But it's probably just that I bike everywhere, and people drunk driving...well, they're never a joke to me.
It is only interesting because of your Lyova convo, you know?
Posted by: freddy at May 20, 2005 11:53 PM
Yeah Freddy, I thought about that afterwards. You're right: drunk driving is not funny. Hmm, what would be a good replacement in the Fitzgerald section? Give me a nugget and I'll patch it in!
Sorry about that!
Posted by: willow at May 21, 2005 7:23 AM
Ah Willow,what I wouldn't give for a trip back in time to one of those actual Joni Mitchell summers of my bygone youth...so romantically tragic. So tragically romantic. But you also need to be listening to Charles Mingus while painting watercolors to make your Joni Mitchell summer complete. Trust me, the ultimate Joni Mitchell fan, (Where do you think the name Marcie came from?), I know these things. Great piece sweetie.
Posted by: Mom at May 24, 2005 3:59 PM
Here is a list sent to me by my great friend Sam:
P Diddy and Posse Summer:
*Throw lavish theme parties with exclusive guest lists
*Drink lots of Champange
*Get lots of Jewels and glue them to everything
*Make up slang words
*Find an enemy to challenge your validity as an artist
Posted by: willow at May 24, 2005 7:35 PM
Well for me it's gonna be an employee's summer
* Wake up every Monday morning dreaming your office disappeared during the week-end
* Wake up every Monday afternoon wishing you didn't fall asleep like that at work
* Work
* Spend your evenings on the internet chatting with friends on holidays
* ...or even worse, spend saturday night with buddies, drinking beer
* Bless week-ends
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Many, many thanks to Liz, Jason and Krista for help on this one. I felt paralyzed by the freestyle nature of this challenge, and they really coached me through it. (See? Jason is a genius.) Their Edith Warton and Earnest Hemminway ideas were hilarious, but didn't make the final cut. I'll post them in comments tomorrow, maybe, if people are interested.
Posted by: willow at May 20, 2005 11:23 PM