God Games that Comes From The Automatic Egg
Posted on: May 17, 2005 6:10 PM
"Boris Alexandrovich Tarkov, I will not oblige you in the consumption of alcoholic beverages", Iliona said when her new man arrived in 'Sportman' bar for this illicit encouter.
"I will respect your wish like always", said Boris Alexandrovich. After all, he was in the knowledge of how to manipulate these womanfolks... (remember what I teach you all about masquerading the vodka under apple juice!). So it happens that three hours following this, Iliona Kotovna Lutski is lying on grand sofa of Boris Alexandrovich's apartment in state of total destroy, and Boris is preparing her for further manipulations:
"Come, darling Iliona, you must have one more maybe..."
This is the example for the type of God-playing that is afforded to me by this new Japanese product, entitled "Otokonotashinami Collection". It is a serial of toys that put into graphic illustration the days and especially nights of this yellow character that I identify with as Boris (he has a Japanese name, but I am ignorant of Japanese). The serial illustrates Boris in such delightful and, dare I say, outspoken situations such is like: being biznesmen in workplace, seducing womanfolk, imbuing his conquests with vodka and helping her to make vomiting actions in toilet. It is a personal favourite of mine to improvise dramatic narratives and unfold the bold tales of Boris Alexandrovich's evenings. In some way, he is myself. In some different ways, he is what I want to be. Sometimes, he is what I do not dare be. He enriches my existence by extending my egos. Like I say: he affords me the status of God.
This serial is one of many such things that is here dispensed from street egg vending apparatus. This is total crazy for me and also great luxury: to unfurl myself upon the city at 5 am and obtain this mysterious 'egg' in which lies my new toy. There are multifarious varieties: Hello Cats, the Cinomorol pudding dogs, miniature foodstuffs, diminutive game console and even tiny reproduction of egg vending apparatus! But my personal choice is always for the sexy girl series, where you manipulate her limbs to reveal some rough actions and you have the power to place her in many embarrassing configurations. Once again, it gives you a glimpse of God and even if this is only the glimpse, it is perhaps the closest you will come to any true total primo revelation.
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You know, I always thought Japanese popular culture was weird and disturbing just on its own, but I am now learning that it is even more weird and disturbing when delivered to you by a slightly off-kilter Byelorussian dude.
Posted by: Craig at May 17, 2005 10:15 PM
what of the vending machine that gives on the dirty panties????
Posted by: ritchey at May 18, 2005 7:31 AM
I gotta say Lyova, I'm not that into the date-rape vibe of your first "encounter." Maybe when you play God to these hapless fools you could teach them some romantic courtesy? Everyone loves a two inch gentleman...
Posted by: willow at May 18, 2005 11:46 AM
Ow come on Willow! What's more romantic than this incredibly macho sounding guy playing with dolls.
Is it really you Lyova? With actual dolls? That's incredible. That's *cute*.
Posted by: boggart at May 18, 2005 2:14 PM
I do not get a date rape vibe from Lyova's posts. I get a very self-aware and clearly ironic useage of stereotypes to dissect social interractions between men and women. I also get LAUGHTER.
Posted by: ritchey at May 18, 2005 2:34 PM
I do not in honesty have impressions of being needy to justify my positions. If peoples cannot glimpse at satire and hyperbolas, this is not to my detriments but theirs. However, I can give Willow the counsel to maybe read some Debord, Levy-Strauss or Georges Bataille and also to invest in a streak of humour, yes?
Regards,
Your primo anthropologist,
Lyova Lyubov
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 18, 2005 4:17 PM
Wow Lyova, thanks for the great advice! Maybe I will invest in a humor streak, but I'm pretty sure that even if I invested my entire life-savings (about $150) I would still be unable to see the humor in sexual-violence jokes, ironic or otherwise. Rats.
Posted by: willow at May 18, 2005 5:08 PM
I am with Willow on this one. Date rape = not funny, at all.
Posted by: Kevin Erickson at May 19, 2005 4:30 AM
I don't really get where the "date rape" is coming in. This post is funny, Lyova is clearly being ironic. I use humor like this all the time, and I am never called racist or misogynist. Is it because I'm a woman? I think this is pretty weak what you dudes are saying. Peace.
Posted by: ritchey at May 19, 2005 7:43 AM
Ritchey,
I have never heard you make rape jokes.
Also, I don't think anyone has called anyone racist or misogynistic. I just think the bit about manipulating women with alcohol for sexual purposes is in poor taste. That's just my call. Whatevs.
Posted by: Kevin Erickson at May 19, 2005 6:53 PM
Poor taste? Me?
This is TOTAL preposterious! I am TOTAL boss of mega good taste! You read my sperlative posts? You see my superlative fotos? You listen to my superlative music? How can you say I having poor taste???
Comrade Lyubov
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 19, 2005 7:18 PM
Kevin, I love you and I hear your words. But can we both agree that what Lyova just responded to you with is HILARIOUS?
Posted by: ritchey at May 20, 2005 8:57 AM
Thank you Rachel for your comment. But this place is having one default: it will not accept cyrillic!
Next time, to write in cyrillic, you must use the transliterate "Maladyets! Ya lyubiu tvoy blog"
to which I answer:
"Spasiba bolshoy!"
Lyova
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 21, 2005 12:12 AM
Great to find someone that also adores OTOKONOTASHINAMI. I've just come back from my first and long awaited vacation in Japan. I managed to return with about 35 actionfigures stuffed in my suitcase.
My absolute favourite from all i've seen in Tokyo is definately OTOKONOTASHINAMI. Mundane life brought to you by nurdish superheroes.
I thought they were called Jonathan and Pierre, according to the little english used in the booklet with the package. I'm now on the search to complete my collection with the figure of the woman collapsed on the couch. I'd also love to find out what the texts behind the figurines say.
Posted by: evalien at May 30, 2005 1:50 AM
Thank you to James for supplying this html code for links, and sorry that I insulted you last night. Please forgive me, I was not in total possession of my brains!
Lyova Lyubov
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 17, 2005 9:59 PM