Lyova Wins First Immunity
Posted on: May 4, 2005 12:30 AM
Congratulations to the winner of the Cyber Headdress of Immunity, Lyova, for his post, "PRIMO ANTHROPOLOGIST MAKES TAXIDERMIC IN PRIMO SLAVIC FOODSTUFFS".
Most countries spread out above this Earth are considering digestion of solid foodstuffs as a primordial to the intake of liquids. When you investigate the preparations of dinners and lunches, you think customary to include the pork first and only thereafter to divert to what your guest will enjoy in drink. But this is not the truth in all places. Behind the Iron Curtains, has been developed a TOTAL revolution of anterior models of consumption; here we oppose to the limitation of biological statistic and, in true Hegelian fashion, make nature subordinate to man, by putting vital ingestion of foodstuffs after the pleasure of the beverage. So it is also in my homeland of Byelorussia and my ancestral Poland that we see the food only as accompaniment to the totally massive and, dare I say, bloodthirsty consumption of our national liquids, which is called "vodka".
Deciding on a winner was almost as hard as choosing the final 12 contestants. There were a number of great posts and I'm glad we're not ranking everyone! I'm sure the final pick will spark quite a discussion. Now the bloggers will all vote for who they want eliminated. Lyova is immune, and is guaranteed a spot in the next challenge, while everyone else is at risk of being the first voted off The Ultimate Blogger. The contestants have until 8 PM Wednesday, May 4th (PDT) to cast their vote for who is eliminated.
READ ALL of the Challenge #1 entries.
yes, a very good post
congratulations ultra primo number one on top pizza blogman supreme
i drink vodka all night in your honor
my favs posts for this challenge were lyova ritchey, joel
thats my personal top 3, for what its worth
though i am not officially affiliated with the ultimate blogger contest, i am indeed watching and occasioanlly helping and making jokes with steve and stuff
so where do the contestants cast there votes? this is gonna be a deep, deep deep thing
BRING THE EMO
BRING THE GANG WARFARE
BRING THE ALLIANCES
so its gonna roll in the comments section or what?
where's the discussion??
DEEP PIZZA
Posted by: Adam Forkner at May 4, 2005 1:38 AM
Dude, I'm witcha. I've always had a question, what is emo? I've heard so many damn definitions. What's up with it. I gotta know.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 1:46 AM
i think your brother and his friends use the word in a way it was not intentioned originally. ritchey, jona, et al learned this new definition from me and jay (wolf colonel) back in the day, developed it and made it their own word
in this context i mean it to say
BRING THE PAIN
BRING THE HURT FEELINGS
BRING THE EMOTION
BRING THE NON-CHEERY AND "OH THANK YOU WOW THAT WAS SO GREAT"
Posted by: Adam Forkner at May 4, 2005 2:24 AM
Question stll not answered. Maybe no one knows, but I appreciate the effort.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 2:56 AM
And know this: I have been personally asked, by Steve, to not "BRING THE PAIN (or)
BRING THE HURT FEELINGS"
But I'm having a hard time keeping my promise not to. It may have cost me the immunity challenge.
Never Sleeping,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 3:00 AM
well yeah
not like ultimate harshness
but just like
you know
REALITY SHOW DRAMA
that i like
i hope this whole thing isnt too cherry coated, for sure
that aint fun to read
also on the late night tip,
on the laptop while my girlfriend cleans her bar every night til 4,
Adam Forkner, the ultimate pizza
BRING THE FIERCE
Posted by: Adam Forkner at May 4, 2005 3:13 AM
I gotcha, man. Nice talkin' BTW. Take care of your girl, we all got to. I'm am gonna try to drink myself to sleep.
Gotta Try,
Joel
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 3:41 AM
PS: Get ready for some true "REALITY SHOW DRAMA
" I got that covered.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 3:43 AM
I always thought EMO referred to the brand of music purveyed by the likes of Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World, Taking Back Sunday, etc.?
Maybe there's a definition special for the Northwest set?
Posted by: Eddie D. at May 4, 2005 4:17 AM
It give me great honour to have singled out amongst the legions of good post. It is factual - and now it must be the Oscar ceremonial prattle, yes? - that I was not expecting. These last days was very abnormal and sad for me, so i did not see my primo wit and sex in the words I have penned. Also, I am the virgin of this "blog" things, and must endeavour to memorize many code parlances, that stick in my throat and make jam from my brains!
When I receive jubilee email from Mickey, Stefan and John, it make me extatic of course, but I also wonder if perhaps their orientation is of more politics than of sane judgment (this is how the election is like in Byelorussia). I also make the conspiracy theory for this!
I am ignorant to know if I must say what posts was exciting for me, or if this is bad manners for ultimate blogman to do this (so maybe I wait if other express their top 3, yes?)
Thank you for making me first king (like this Richard Gere, yes?) and I hope my favourite ultimates will not receive the sack!
Lyova Lyubov
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 4, 2005 5:16 AM
Sexytime Explosion,
Det gir meg stor ære ha singled ut blant legionene av god post. Det er saklig - og nå er det Oscar ceremonial prattle, ja? - At jeg ikke ventet. Disse siste dagene var meget abnorme og triste for meg, derfor jeg ikke så mitt primo vidd og kjønn i ordene som jeg har penned. Også er jeg jomfruen av dette "blog" ting, og bestreber seg på lære utenat mange koder parlances, som stikker i min hals og lager syltetøy fra mine hjerner! Når jeg mottar jubilee email fra Mickey, Stefan og John, lager det meg extatic selvfølgelig, men jeg undrer meg også om kanskje deres orientering er av mere politikk enn av mentalt sunn dom (dette er hvordan valget er som i Byelorussia). Jeg lager også sammensvergelsesteorien for dette! Jeg er uvitende vite om jeg sier hva poster hisset opp for meg, eller om dette er dårlige måter for ytterst blogman gjøre dette (slik kanskje jeg venter om annen ekspress# deres topp 3, ja?)
Takk De for å lage meg først konge (som denne Richard Gere ja?) og jeg håper at min yndlingsultimates ikke mottar sekken!
You Know Me!
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 6:35 AM
Hi everyone,
I'm half french and I have to admit I underestimated the writing gifts of you american people. Silly, no ?
Hanging out on this site lately. Reading this, reading that. I'm astonished at how easy you are all with language and languages.
So I only wanted to praise you all writing guys and especially Mr Lyubov for those witty skills.
A new "dare I say" ultimate blogger fan.
Posted by: boggart at May 4, 2005 7:39 AM
Super Cool, Boggart.
J'utilise un service libre de traduction, mais j'ai pensé ce serais approprié à vous accueillir à ce concours dans votre langue natale. Je suis sûr c'est évident que je ne parle pas le français, Ceci est ma tentative pour offrir un geste gentil à une personne qui a dit des choses gentilles. Je crois que vous apprécierez les lectures sur cette page dans les semaines pour venir. Ceci est un concours amusant, créé par l'amusement, les gens intelligents, et est plein d'écrivains intelligents. Encore, accueillir, et bonjour !
Votre Ami,
Joel Bechtolt
PS:Vous dites que vous êtes « le demi français », quel est l'autre moitié ?
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 8:27 AM
Lyova Lyubov,
I too have have the question "if I must say what posts was exciting for me, or if this is bad manners" I think it would be ok, and interesting, I simply don't know, myself. I've read them all front to back, and it is to hard for me, they are all so good in their own ways. Which makes me wonder how the judges were able to make such a quick decision. I am very much looking forward to the next challenge, either participating, or watching.
Love,
Joel
PS: I love your comment today "When I receive jubilee email from Mickey, Stefan and John, it make me extatic of course, but I also wonder if perhaps their orientation is of more politics than of sane judgment (this is how the election is like in Byelorussia). I also make the conspiracy theory for this!" We think like brothers, you and me!
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 4, 2005 8:34 AM
Congrats, Lyova! A worthy post, as were several of them. I'm glad I didn't have to choose.
-k
Posted by: kirsten at May 4, 2005 9:26 AM
Lyova, you are truly the man to beat. Please email me at senatorritchey@gmail.com to forge an alliance. I would like to ally with you and Mimi, if possible. Get back to me on this. We will take this "shit" to a "meta" place. Don't fuck with me, I am being serious.
Posted by: Ritchey at May 4, 2005 9:32 AM
We did not choose quickly. We were discussing it all evening.
Posted by: Steve Schroeder at May 4, 2005 12:10 PM
Someone else mentioned a conspiracy theory that May 23, 2007 = Lyova.
I don't know about that, but his bio describes him as a "true primo blogman", but they don't have a link to his blog. The only other contestant who didn't previously have a blog is Joel Bechtolt, and he had some problems getting Movable Type to work the way he wanted it to. Lyova didn't seem to have a problem.
Is Lyova's blog just private? Is that why we can't go to it? But why would a "true primo blog man" have a private blog? Is his blog just http://www.urbanhonking.com/may23rd2007/ ?
I want Lyova to respond to this.
Posted by: DCS at May 5, 2005 12:20 PM
Greetings DCS!
I am sorry to make grave dissappointment unto you, but before this contest, I was not great adept of the internet blog, so it is highest and most clarified truth that I did not utilise the blog beforehand. On reverse side, I was always totally conscious of my supernova writing abilities for many previous eras and also made great interest to the ultra-modern. I have awesome opinion of my worths, and so I make a research on google for "i want to become ultimate blogger" (because if I make blog, it shall only be of the ultimate varieties!) and I am deported to this site.
Joel maybe confess to his troubles, but because of my overpowering sense of primo masculin, I cannot admit defeat. However, my heart will tell at you that this html (which I only unveil recently) is difficult for me to configure, and I must make use of many tutoring sites on web.
This is pure truth,
Lyova Lyubov
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 5, 2005 1:14 PM
I can confirm that there was no blog on Lyova's application, and he has never had a blog before as far as anyone running the competition knows.
Posted by: Mikey at May 5, 2005 1:21 PM
I don't know if DCS's question is really
"Did Lyova have a blog before the competition"
so much as
"Did Lyova *exist* before the competition."
;)
Posted by: Lauren Alyce at May 6, 2005 1:47 AM
BINGO.
Although, I don't think I've known KMikeyM to be a liar.
And I think that this whole competition is attempting to be more legit than just one of the PDX-Boys' famous grifts.
Posted by: DCS at May 6, 2005 10:40 AM
Word on the street is: they've done their research, and everything they've been able to verify has checked out.
Maybe the world is big and crazy enough to have room for Lyova in it? I hope so.
Posted by: freddy at May 6, 2005 12:24 PM
Jagshemash,
Congratulations, Lyova. You are a worthy opponent.
Love,
Joel
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 4, 2005 12:49 AM