Selection Process
Posted on: April 30, 2005 2:06 PM
Thanks so much to the 300+ people who applied. So many of the applications were awesome. We whittled it down for 7 hours last night with a great team (thanks Shayla, Josh, Fiona, Curt, Rebecca, and John; our Vanna White). It was so hard to eliminate some of the people. I found myself becoming very attached to some of the applications, and really wish we could include more people. We are in the processes of making the final decisions. The 12 who make it will be revealed on Monday morning when the competition starts. Thanks again!
So, did anyone else peer closely at the picture to see if their photo was stuck in that array somewhere? I think I left a nose-print on my screen...
Posted by: Kyle Hasselbacher at April 30, 2005 4:03 PM
I peered closely at the larger version of that photo on flickr. Very closely. And I wasn't on there, as far as I could see. Woe.
Oh well. It looks like the cast will be diverse and very interesting -- I'm sure this will be a great contest to follow. Even if I'm not picked, I'm going to stick around and be a fangirl.
Posted by: grimsb at April 30, 2005 4:22 PM
What colour will the smoke from the chimneybe when the 'winners' are revealed?
;)
Posted by: Ben at April 30, 2005 6:43 PM
Good question.
In the meantime, I'm having fun reading all the little red labels on the photos. They're there if you look reaaaaaaaaaaally hard.
"Old," "Academic," "Indian," "Sex," "cool sex." etc. etc.
No wonder I'm not up there. ;)
Posted by: grimsb at April 30, 2005 7:23 PM
Oh man, that's sort of embarrassing! :)
We did make use some single words to help distinguish characteristics. Ones you probably can't see are "slice" and "funny", which are for "slice of life" and obviously, "being funny".
Most of the entries were under 30, so our "old" category was pretty broad! Academic speaks for itself... I think we had three or four in the "sex" category, which was people who did, or we thought might, blog about sex. We kept using "cool" too much. Like if a person was snarky or detached or just seemed "with it"... The tags weren't "cool sex" but rather "cool" and "sex".
I blame flickr and del.icio.us. They make me want to be able to tag everything!
Posted by: Mikey at April 30, 2005 9:24 PM
Huzzah! I see my face--or that's a really bad smudge--either way, I'm glad I made the first cut.
Posted by: Cakalusa at April 30, 2005 10:14 PM
I can only hope I am on the other side :P Any other 15 year olds apply? I might be diverse enough to win!
Posted by: Matt Dobel at May 1, 2005 9:17 AM
Hey Mikey!
I appreciate your comments on the process. Thanks for being part of the group that selected me. This is gonna be fun.
Love,
Joel
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 9:17 AM
Just a thought, I think it's ok to use terms like "cool" often, especially when discussing people like myself and my 11 counterparts. Because, to be chosen for this contest, you must be pretty damn cool.
Ice, Ice, Baby,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 9:22 AM
The board (in the picture) only has 15 people, and according to Mikey's blog there are 30 left. Don't get your hopes up Joel.
Posted by: Matt Dobel at May 1, 2005 9:40 AM
Hmm, congrats Joel. I'll look forward to reading your posts. Yay!
(It's always fascinating to read anything written by a psychic.)
On an unrelated note, I love learning about current concepts of "cool." I like to try to stay on top of such things. Might do a thesis study on "cool," actually -- "Defining 'cool' in a digital setting." Fascinating. ;)
(Note to self:
Next time around, attempt to be uber-snarky or detached. And/or sexy. Because it's just so hard to be plain ol' "cool" nowadays.)
Posted by: grimsb at May 1, 2005 10:00 AM
Grimsb,
Your're totally right. Just plain cool doesn't exactly cut it these days. And Matt Dobel, you silly, silly man. I have every right to get my hopes up due to the fact that I, Joel Conrad Bechtolt, am in. In the contest. It's true. Don't believe me? Read this:
"Congratulations Joel! After another six hours of arguments with
yelling and throwing pencils we finally decided on the final 12. And
you are in."
(via: ultimateblogger@gmail.com)
So if you're still not a believer, write them, they'll write you back and tell you what I just told you. I'm in. You're not. How could you be? You can't even count how many pictures are on the board. Take a closer look. This is not hard stuff, my man. Do you even know what's going on in the picture? Ok, here's the scoop: The dudes that are putting this on went through a grueling process in order to come up with the 12 best candidates for this very interesting game. To do this, they looked at all the applications, put some photos up on the wall, in an attempt to "get a feel" for how this contest would look when all was said and done. (BTW guys, I'm so thankful you took the time to weed out the riff-raff. Well done.) Still with me? Good. After that, they chose me. They did not choose you. How could they? Are you paying attention? Did you even enter? If not, that's fine. There's lots of cool stuff to pay attention to. How do I know this? Was I there? No Did my brother tell me about it? Hell no, he was busy rockin' shit in Frisco. I pay attention. They say everything, on their repective webpages. Get hooked on phonics, clown. But like grimsb said, this is, and will always be, "written by a psychic". So I do have an advantage far greater than any implied nepotism (Yeah, I've gotten a lot of emails RE: my brother and my alleged friendship with this contests' founders) You can say anything you want, ever. What you cannot do, however, is speak of things you know nothing about. Not only is it not right, but it kinda makes you look like a big, fat dork. Sorry dude, if I hurt your feelings, but read this again. Did I say anything untrue? What about you? "Don't get your hopes up Joel" bitch please, you gotta be kidding.
Hopes Up,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
PS: Call me if you still have concerns, call 971-227-0769. We can talk it out, or, I can give you my address (which I would probably have to, do even though it's been posted, but you are obviously not paying attention to any god damn thing) and if you need to get aggro, you can come over and attempt to intimidate me, which by the way, will never happen, ever! Nice talkin' to ya, though bro.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 10:36 AM
Good god Joel. What a prick you are. The term 'masturbator' springs to mind.
Posted by: mimi at May 1, 2005 10:49 AM
Just for the record, my girlfriend, whom I respect and think is very smart, just told me that the last part of my post was "wayyy tooo combative". I tend to agree with her, and I got a little carried away. She's so smart. I will try as hard as I can to tone down the "say it to my face, bitch" nonsense. I am not an angry or violent man. Not anymore, at least. I will however, challenge Matt Dobel to a game of anything with my one good brain tied behind my back.
Seeing the error in his ways,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 10:51 AM
Mimi,
I am sorry. I was being a prick. But because you brought it up, yes, today I have masterbated 4 times.
Some Gave All,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 10:54 AM
Plus, I also misspelled "Masturbate" and in two posts prior, I called "respective" "repective." I am not, nor do I ever claim to be a perfect man. Far from it. I am however one of twelve, so eat it.
Joel B
(You know the guy)
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 10:58 AM
I'm "on the island" with you, Joel. I'm just starting to realize what I've gotten myself into...
Posted by: crash at May 1, 2005 11:02 AM
Dear Mimi,
Joel's girlfriend, Sara, here. No need for the misguided lament over my relationship with Joel. I am not a hostage, nor a victim. I am the willing, smart and eager girl who can't get enough of my sexy, honest, prolific, talented, and, did I mention sexy man, Joel.
Yours,
The Ultimate Blogger's Lovin' girl
Posted by: Sara Nan Nokes at May 1, 2005 11:07 AM
Crash,
Are we in the contest together? Did you get chosen? If so, that's cool. I love the island comment, pretty funny.
-Joel
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 11:09 AM
Hey Mimi!
Just read your blog. As soon as we did, a few sentences in, my girlfriend said "poor Mimi" and we both had a chuckle.
Don't stop Believin'
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 11:13 AM
OK. Here is what I believe to be the funniest thing I've read today, this is from Mimi's blog:
"So, like, the reason I didn't call you is because I was having all these problems with this chick I've been seeing for a year. Man, the chick is fucked up. You know she never had an orgasm through sex? Thirty years old and she never had a fucking orgasm! That's fucked up man. White girls. She was a rammer, I'm tellin' you."
My question is, why do you stay in a room with a guy that says this? But more importantly, how can you call me out for being to "prick-like" or outlandish when your blog reads like the worst Harlequin novel ever published. Guys and girls, if you don't believe me, got to http://www.miminewyork.blogspot.com/ to see what I'm saying.
Poor Mimi,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 11:22 AM
Two problems with my posts, I meant to say "too prick-like" not "to prick-like". Also, I said "got to http://www.miminewyork.blogspot.com/ to see what I'm saying" in stead of "GO TO http://www.miminewyork.blogspot.com/ to see what I'm saying" Go there kids, it's FUNNY!
Love always,
Joel
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 11:28 AM
The best part of it is that some of those applications who are in that picture weren't even in the top 30.
Some are, some aren't.
Posted by: Steve Schroeder at May 1, 2005 11:34 AM
I'm so pissed. I didn't even know about this contest until today. I'd have fucking entered it. That's evil!
I could be one of twelve.
Now we'll never fucking know. But I still have an awesome blog and I can throw down. Ah, sigh.
Still, I'll watch this shit unfold like the freak of nature accident it's going to be.
And another thing? I'm over 30. Not by much. 31. But I could've fit into that OLD category and it'd be so ironic, since I'm so immature.
Next time, yo. Meanwhile, I hate it that you can click on the person's name and send them an email. Email? Who cares about email? Feed me URLS, man.
Like this: www.thelastditch.blogspot.com
Posted by: scribecalledsteff at May 1, 2005 11:34 AM
Oh snap!
Turns out this Mimi chick is a writer for the Villiage Voice, and, according to my girlfriend, is "smoking hot". Check this link out: http://www.journalism.co.uk/news/story1358.shtml
Quick question for the judges and moderators out there: How dirty are we allowed to get? I ask because A: I like to talk nasty and B: Because Mimi's blog, and all articles regarding Mimi, have to do, in some way shape or form, with anal sex. I can however, keep it clean, if necessary. I can abide by the same rules as television, and I will not try to hijack this contest and turn it into a clusterfuck nightmare. I trust you guys, and I always play by the rules.
So, so brave,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 11:44 AM
Hey Steve, trying to get your post. So you dudes put up pictures of people that were not in the top 30, how come? Is Mimi in the top thirty? If not, did you put up her picture because she is so hot? Is that Mimi's real picture? Have you met her in person? Right now she is facinating me.
-Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 11:48 AM
Well, during that night many pictures were up on the wall to be discussed about. Some came down and more went up and that is not the whole wall.
That is Mimi. She is an awesome writer, who is not limited to anal sex, but does get a little risque. This is a free speech contest.
Posted by: Steve Schroeder at May 1, 2005 11:57 AM
What was just posted is my website, the only one I currently have. It is chock full of pedestrian graphic design. It's intention was to get me more pedestrian graphic design work. I need dough like the next guy. If you are gonna call me out, first, be smart about it. Secondly, post your name and your email address, that way we can all talk about it. Thirdly, if you are posting stuff, and did not make the cut, good luck on calling me out.
Don't hate the player, hate the game,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 11:58 AM
"Joel's girlfriend, Sara, here. No need for the misguided lament over my relationship with Joel. I am not a hostage, nor a victim. I am the willing, smart and eager girl who can't get enough of my sexy, honest, prolific, talented, and, did I mention sexy man, Joel. "
Yes, you did mention. I think we're all waiting with bated breath for proof of the verity of these adjectives, lest we lose faith in the English language.
Posted by: Mimi at May 1, 2005 12:03 PM
Dear Steve,
First, we have not talked today and I would like to thank you for putting on this contest, and for chosing me. Next, I appreciate your post about this being a "free speech contest" but will do everything in my power to behave myself. Anal sex aside, I'm guessing that there actually are limits to the honesty that urbanhonking, Panic, States Rights Records, and Cascade Hosting will tolerate. However, it does say, at the top of the page, "Internet Cage Match" so I guess it's on. If I gotta be booted, I'll understand. Till then...
Yours Truly,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 12:06 PM
OK, no one has told me if Mimi is in the contest yet, so here goes: If you are in the contest, you have already lost. Why re-post something that was posted 2 seconds ago. Lest we lose focus, young lady, (Hot young lady, by the way, if that is your real picture) Let's reiterate the facts, since you seem to be such a fan of that. If you need "verity" and or verification, stop there. I'm the man. Are you even in this contest? No one's saying yet. Here's me, asking anyone out there: "Is Mimi a finalist in the Ultimate Blogger contest ( sponsored by urbanhonking, Panic, States Rights Records, and Cascade Hosting) or not? Gotta know...
Having Faith in the English (Not to mention all other) Languages,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 12:17 PM
omg.. he had to get his girlfriend to post in his defence? What a loser. I expect that shortly we'll be graced by a post from his mommy boasting how wonderful he is.
Posted by: lebnanyi at May 1, 2005 12:31 PM
LOL! All my readers are defecting to this site - hey Steff, what's the bet Red Stater will turn up any minute and convert Joel to the Righteous Path?
Posted by: mimi at May 1, 2005 12:38 PM
Hey "lebnanyi",
You are so funny! First of all, of couse my mommy loves me and will post something about me during this contest. Secondly, if you're gonna call a guy a loser, AT THE VERY LEAST, learn how to spell "defense"". Till then, forever hold your peace. Or my piece, (swingin' low, BTW).
Call your own Mom, Don't call mine out, silly pants,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 1:14 PM
I am such a goofy dude, I call a guy out for misspelling something and then do it myself! Urgh! If I'm gonna be The Ultimate Blogger, I gotta work harder. Know this.
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The ULTIMATE Blogger
PS: To all of us out there, of course, "course" has an "r" in it.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 1:20 PM
Hello You all!!!
I make very enjoyed lecturing from all of this, and believe me these enfranchised exchanges are sending the shudderings of delights down my spinal. Making this guileless and, dare I say, tonic proclamation is like to witness something very very special that, I think, cause us all to feel supremely lukewarm inside, yes?
But, dear Joel, it is not so partial for you to make your mother come in these lectures, no? It is, above all, not a matter for the matronic ear, this talk of sex and other such (but, do not think I am the fool, because I am quite definitely disposed for what you mention, ok?) ;-)
Salutations to all,
Lyova Lyubov
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 1, 2005 1:22 PM
Hey Mimi,
Once again it's on. How about being a real journalist (or Ultimate Blogger, in MY case) and not posting threads with crazy inside jokes? Maybe you'd make the cut. Huh. You're the college grad, I'm the high school dropout, you tell me.
Love You,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 1:23 PM
Just a note in lebnanyi's defence:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=defence
Lots of Love from London,
Lauren Alyce
Posted by: Lauren Alyce at May 1, 2005 1:51 PM
I love that. I love being wrong, not a problem. Thank you, Lauren from London. It's true what they say, you learn something new everyday.
I stand both gorgeous, and corrected,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
PS: Sorry, lebnanyi. You were right, I was wrong.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 2:00 PM
BTW: Lyova Lyubov, thank you for your post. I have no I idea what you just said, but it sounded nice. Are you from a part of the former Soviet Union? If so, how did you find out about the contest? I love the idea that this really is worldwide. I think, however that there is a cultural difference between you and I. Here in America, if we are all cool, Mom's and boys can be friends. We can tell each other our hopes, dreams, and fears. By no means not in any oedipal fashion, but in a way where we are all refusing to be uptight. It's cool. I love it.
Just in case, here we go: ????? ?????, ??????????? ??? ?? ??? ????. ? ???? ?? ???? ????, ??? ?? ?????? ???????, ?? ??? ??????? ???????. ?? ?? ????? ???????? ?????????? ?????? ???? ???, ??? ?? ???????? ? ????????????? ? ????? ????, ??? ??? ????????????? - ?? ???? ????. ? ?????, ?????? ??? ???? ?????????? ???????? ????? ???? ? ????. ????? ? ???????, ???? ?? ???? ?????????, ???? ? ???????? ????? ???? ????????. ?? ????? ??????? ???? ????? ???? ???????, ?????, ? ????????. ?? ? ???? ?????? ?? ????? oedipal ????????, ? ?????, ??? ?? ??? ???????????? ???? ??????????????. ??? ?????????. ? ????? ???.
Love Always,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 2:12 PM
Hey guys,
Turns out your website does not handle the Cyrillic font for the Russian language. Big bummer. Whatever your software is, I don't want it till it's fixed.
Ready to donate everything,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 2:17 PM
Mimi--
I don't know. Joel freaks me out. I think he seriously needs to get out more.
I think his girlfriend is of the inflated variety. I'm not sure. Not much to go on, except for the fact that 3 out of 4 postings are from him.
But then, Red's a really scary dude so I wouldn't want to randomly lump Joel in. And he seems to lust after you (Joel, that is) so hmm.
And I forgive you for not letting me know about this contest. Because I might be serious competition if I had known. Oh, well.
I'm too cool to be judged. Yeah. Right. That's that ticket. Seriously. Hmm.
-steff.
www.thelastditch.blogspot.com
(And why the hell don't some of you post your freakin' URLs so the rest of us can see if you're all that? Uh, Joel?)
Posted by: scribe called steff at May 1, 2005 2:28 PM
Dear Joel,
It is spot on and, in all frankness, very impressing that you find out I hold citizenship of Former Soviet Union! In truth, I am originating from Western Byelorussia but make a new homeland to Japan. I comprehend maybe too much what you write about "cultural difference", because Japan is also odd fish and, maybe, anomalous! But still I am thinking your surviving in Byelorussia is poor when you have much recourse to your mothers (even is she has muscular belly). You must realize that some things you utter in your country, you cannot utter in other place. But we all are making faulty in life, yes?
I must also thank you for the effort you make to write in Cyrillic! And if machines do not read my ancestral and perhaps top class alphabet, you can write like this:
Mojet'ye pisiat' v transliteratsyi i toje budit' kharasho. V internet'ye mnoga saytov nye znayut ruskigo alfabeta. Problyem nyet!
Salutations
Lyova Lyubov
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 1, 2005 2:40 PM
Scribe Called Steff,
Joel's girlfriend, Sara, here. I am a fan of self-awareness, and would like to honestly consider whether I am the "inflated" type, only I'm unfamiliar with it's connotations. Does it mean fat??? Pompous??? Full of air??? So many of the postings are from a Joel for two reasons, he is facinated with this contest and he is also stuck indoors with a sprained foot. Watching him hobble to the bathroom and to the window to have a smoke is sad as I know his diminished mobility is frustrating to him.
Yours,
The over-the shoulder reading girlfriend of the currenetly napping Ultimate Blogger (Sara)
Posted by: Sara Nan Nokes at May 1, 2005 2:43 PM
I must ask for excuse because it is almost dawning on Japan and I made all-night non-stop celebrating my victory. Now I go to sleep.
But firstly I wish you all a Very Momentous Workers' Day! And I am sorry that there must be only one winner for the 500 dollar.
Next time luck will come smiling you I think, yes?
Calm Night to you!
Posted by: Lyova Lyubov at May 1, 2005 2:46 PM
Steff --
Joel said something earlier about not having a website other than his graphic design site.
Amazing that he's one of the final 12 when he doesn't have a blog yet. He must have sent in one hell of an application.
(No, I'm not trying to be snarky. I promise. If I wanted to be snarky, I'd bring up nepotism. But Joel himself already mentioned nepotism awhile back, [kudos to that, by the way] so we're all square at this point. Blog or no blog, he knows how to hold his own in a conversation.)
Also, Joel, I am sorry to hear about your foot. At least you are making the best of being stuck inside by letting us see that you are the Ultimate Blogger.
Anyhow, this is becoming really interesting -- I can't wait for the contest to start! :)
Posted by: Lauren Alyce at May 1, 2005 2:55 PM
We really wanted to keep the competition open for those new to blogging or without blogs as well as veteran bloggers. We want to encourage blogging to all. Those without blogs were much more reliant on applications as that's all we had to go off of. Those with blogs could let their blogs do the talking a little more, but application was always important.
Posted by: Steve Schroeder at May 1, 2005 3:00 PM
oh man. As another top 12 finalist, I must commend Joel "Conrad" Bechtolt for revealing his 9th level strategy so early in the game. These comments are very funny, as no one seems to realize that Joel is playing an "awesome" character, a-la "Jerry" on the second season of "Survivor." I, for one, relish the chance to thoroughly trounce Joe "Jerry/Conrad" Bechtolt in man-on-man combat via this blogging contest, which I'm sure you have all realized I am going to win. Joel, who I know in real life, is unfortunately "all that," although not having ever read his blog I certainly can't comment on his viability vis-a-vis this contest. I must point out, though, that you are all allowing yourselves to get worked up over something that is clearly a very funny joke. Cheer up--you (meaning "we," as in "those of us who have made the final cut") can vote "Joel" Conrad Bechtolt off this "island" at almost any time we please. He, knowing this, will have to win every immunity challenge in the book. And, trust me "Joel," if the challenge involves writing about my period, YOU ARE TOAST. Consider this your "FINAL" warning! Sincerely, Marianna "M." Ritchey, THE ULTIMATE BLOGGER
Posted by: ritchey at May 1, 2005 3:06 PM
I furthermore need to point out to my fellow finalists that this "Lyova" character must be voted off IMMEDIATELY, as he is far too funny and brilliant to be allowed to gain any toehold in this contest. When we strike, my allies, we must strike FAST and FURIOUS.
Posted by: ritchey at May 1, 2005 3:08 PM
Man, I've been looking forward to watching this contest but now I'm starting to worry that it's going to be massively irritating.
Rulers of this thing, are you going to limit the players' posts so we don't end up reading twenty rants (and corections of spelling mistakes) a day from the same person, plus two more from his girlfriend? That's not entertainment.
Sorry, just a suggestion. It's just that the contest hasn't yet begun and Joel is already making me want to change channels.
Posted by: A Viewer at May 1, 2005 3:10 PM
Dear Scribe,
Oh, ha! I think I get it! You wonder if I am a blow up doll that Joel types for under the guise of having a living, breathing, actual girlfriend? Can blow up girlfriends have self-awareness? If I listen to that cricket on my shoulder will I be a real girlfriend someday? Dare to dream!
Glad to be out of my box today,
Sara Nan Nokes
Posted by: Sara Nan Nokes at May 1, 2005 3:22 PM
The comments don't want to remember me. I must have offended the comment gods or something.
Joel's girlfriend: I was being facetious and implying you were really a figment of his imagination, hence, a blowup doll. Humour's subjective I guess. What can I say?
As for a gimped foot--that does suck. I was on crutches for eight months last winter. Life was lame. It's one of those times you regret living on the third floor of a walkup, lemme tell you.
LAUREN: Yeah, I don't know. Call me crazy; I kinda woulda thunk it'd be called on the basis of the blog and not a frickin' application. But that's just me: thinkin' whack shit all the day long.
I don't really have very high expectations for this contest, honestly-- it seems it'd only been posted 6 days before the deadline snuck up. People like me'll trickle in after the fact and some of us'll have pretty active and consistently strong sites, so it's a little disappointing to see the line'd been sunk for such a short time before the catch was declared. I mean, sure, 300 people applied, but realistically, how many of those'll actually be GOOD blogs?
Whatever, man. I don't make the rules. I just bitch about 'em.
Anyhow. C'est la vie.
www.thelastditch.blogspot.com
Posted by: scribe called steff at May 1, 2005 3:26 PM
Sara-- Heh, yeah. You're slow, but you'll do. ;) Ha! But then, I was a little subtle in my implications. Good luck on making the jump to reality. I hear the molecularization process is a real bitch. Pack some Advil.
Posted by: scribe called steff at May 1, 2005 3:28 PM
There will be many different levels of which you can follow The Ultimate Blogger. The main page here will just have the little video episodes that will recap challenges and votes and introduce new challenges and it will feature the winning entry for each challenge. The rest of the entries will be on a blog in which all the contestants can post to. So, this page won't be bogged down.
Thanks so much for your comments. This is something we are interested in.
Posted by: Steve Schroeder at May 1, 2005 3:35 PM
you guys, stop fighting! Scribe called Steff, the contest was posted for several weeks. We can't all hear about everything at all times, no matter HOW amazing the intrawebs are. Everybody just ignore Joel! The rest of us will have nice fun times without all the mean spiriting.
Posted by: ritchey at May 1, 2005 3:41 PM
Wait, so some people know they are in the final 12? What about this final 30 business? Was that just a salve?
Posted by: Larry Forney at May 1, 2005 3:50 PM
I think those in the Final 12 have all been notified. But the big reveal won't be until tomorrow.
Posted by: crash at May 1, 2005 3:53 PM
sara is a real person. she is lovely, bright, beautiful and an excellent cook to boot.
joel has a munged foot. he fell down some stairs after having had a bit too much to drink. he also had an "in", knows all of the judges and is a brother to someone intimately involved with the contest. joel, himself, has consoled me that it isn't necessarily talent that has been a criteria for selection.
love & kisses,
kirsten (who is not among the disciples of UB)
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 4:15 PM
First off, I love everybody involved with this whole thing, contestants, and commentators, alike. It's very nice to finally hear from my co-combatants. This is gonna rule. A couple things. It's cool to hear from you, Ritchey. Thank God. Your presence is not only invigorating, inspiring and definitely well-warranted, but most important, for me, Joel Conrad Bechtolt, The Ultimate Blogger, a deflection from all misguided, poison-tipped arrows aiming to shoot down nepotism. Because if there ever was an instance of nepotism, it would be manifested in the ex-lover of my younger brother, Jona. (Love you, Jona) I am becoming fascinated more and more every second with this contest. A Russian, that I can also speak Japanese to? How damn cool is that? All of you guys have made my day today. Kudos, and thank you. This is gonna be great. Thank you, Steve for facilitating such a great contest. Now, if the rest of the contestants would just come out of the woodwork, we could all have a good time. I can't wait. Love you all from the bottom of my mangled foot.
Yours Always,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 4:20 PM
Ritchey-- Aha. Well, the main page looks like the contest was announced on April 23rd.
But then, this whole "I can read" schtick is something I've been putting over on people for years. So, y'know, "my bad."
Who knew? Anyhow, I think I should be put on the alternate list for when some schmoe does some stupid American Idol thing and forgets to inform the judges about the time he stole a tube of lube from the drug store and got busted for theft.
Not that I've got any morality points on my side, but hey. I can act. And I have a nice smile.
thelastditch.blogspot.com
Posted by: scribe called steff at May 1, 2005 4:28 PM
Joel, you keep raising some very interesting points. What I want to know is, when all is said and done, how many people were selected as finalists before the application process began? Or maybe it's just a really, *really* small world after all.
Love
Lauren Alyce
Ultimate Blogger Fangirl
Posted by: Lauren at May 1, 2005 4:33 PM
1. This contest is not fixed.
2. Sara is a great cook.
3. Ritchey, you are wrong.
4. No one ignores Joel.
5. Kirsten fails to understand.
6. There is no nepotism involved. Whatsoever.
7. If you don't believe me, ask Ritchey, ask myself, or ask the judges, or just read the damn thread. All has been revealed regarding this topic.
8. Did I mention I love everybody?
9. I have no time for people who think six days is not enough time, so please, if you're gonna post, say something interesting.
10. I love everybody.
Your Friend,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 4:35 PM
Joel, I have never heard of this "Jona" person in my life. How dare you accuse me of having ever taken a lover? And furthermore, can't we all just CALM DOWN? It's just a contest. It's just an i-pod that's at stake--and not, for example, someone's LIFE. It's not someone locked in a basement being forced to do vile things for money in some fetid communist prison. It's not your kid brother being held for ransom. No, my friends. My friends, this is BLOGGING. Truly the stuff of life, however, nothing to get one's "panties" in a "wad" over (my panties are kind of in a wad).
Posted by: Ritchey at May 1, 2005 4:37 PM
Sorry. . . I was just playing devil's advocate. I'll stop now.
But I'm still wondering why Joel keeps bringing up the topic of nepotism. It's really a serious issue to consider. It has an impact on the credibility of the entire contest. This is why most contests have specific rules about this sort of thing. I wouldn't have said anything if Joel himself hadn't mentioned it.
I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass. (I wouldn't have to try, in any case.)
I really am looking forward to following the contest. Sorry if I've implied otherwise.
Sincerely,
Lauren
Ultimate Blogger Fangirl (Really! Even Joel Wins!)
Posted by: Lauren at May 1, 2005 4:45 PM
An Open Letter to the Judges,
Hi. My name is Joel Conrad Bechtolt. I am a convicted felon. While I have never stolen lube, I have stolen the hearts of many a young lady. Many of them want them back. I did time in federal prison. It was tough, I guess. So is this contest. One of my favorite bands, is A Tribe Called Quest, so I appreciate the name "Scribe Called Steff". However, this is where my appreciation ends. You were a little late on the draw. Accept it. Kick back, watch, listen, and learn. Hope you're enjoying your Sunday, you big goofball.
Still Your Friend,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 4:45 PM
1. Didn't say the contest was fixed. Was merely discussing selection. Stating facts. The readers may draw their own conclusions. 300 applications. 12 selected. Is Steve's explanation lame? Maybe Joel had incredibly compelling answers to the questions, a fabo picture (it was mocked earlier). I suspect he was chosen because he's an instigator and a known quantity to the judges.
2. Sara is a many wonderful things.
3. Whatever.
4. Ha!
5. Not really. I think you were too drunk to remember all that you told me about the judges, the contest, yourself.
6. Ok. If you say so.
7. Yup. Right.
8. Did I hit a nerve, hon?
9. I can't hear you.
10. Damn, you must be pissed.
Smoochies,
Kirsten
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 4:49 PM
Outwit, outlast, outplay.
Love Always,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
A true Playa
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 4:54 PM
Hahaha. Yeah. You're pissed.
Huggles,
Kirsten
P.S. (That would be his way of saying he has nothing to say).
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 4:57 PM
I got lots to say. Is it true that Kirsten, weighs at least 300 pounds? Just asking. This contest is real. You gotta get real if you want me to be nice. True Dat, yo.
Nuttin' But Love,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 5:17 PM
Sweetie, an awful lot of hostility for all that love you have! Totally real. Completely honest. Not worried at all. Save your energy for the competition, honey. You'll need it.
xoxo,
kirsten
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 5:18 PM
Really doe. Be cool, we be cool, we cool.
Hooked on Ebonics,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 5:19 PM
Nepotism.
As a co-founder of UrbanHonking and The Ultimate Blogger I would like to argue that nepotism has little to do with our selections.
Why do I say little? Shouldn't I say "nothing"? Well, keep in mind that UrbanHonking is a blog community, and the many blogs on Urban Honking were inspiration for the contest. When the original idea for this contest came up I was imagining it would be all people that I knew. However, in classic Internet Fashion it blew up far beyond our group and we got really excited about all the people.
As we agonized (in a fun way, but still agonized) over picking 12 people from 300 I'm sure our knowledge of the people we knew influenced our decisions, just as we had much longer to consider the applications from people who entered first (is that a slight form of nepotism?). Also, important to note that Jona was not a part of the selection process and I was initially VERY against Joel taking part, based on both his relationship to Jona as well as his comments on this blog before he knew he was "in."
Over the next 12 weeks we hope to provide a very entertaining contest. Our goal is that this will be fun to watch, and we are working very hard behind the scenes. The banter in the comments is a big part of where the "reality" comes in, and I welcome it from everyone. Seeing people declare themselves as "on the island" before the official announce is very entertaining, and I think if we keep "entertainment" in the back of our minds, we can all enjoy this a lot more! (not to say we shouldn't be trash-talking, because that can be pretty entertaining)
As for the legitimacy or integrity of this contest, what can I do? I have been trying to maintain the spirit of blogging by posting about my experiences on my own blog, which may give you a bit of a "behind the scenes" feel. This is our first time doing this, so we may make mistakes (like allowing people to see the tags on the photos :), but we will admit them, and if need be, try to correct them when people bring them up.
This is already much more fun than I expected!
Posted by: Mikey at May 1, 2005 5:42 PM
Right on, Mikey. I believe you tried to call me earlier and the connection went bad. You can call anytime. Please do.
Love Always,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 5:56 PM
I think Mikey said it all. I think we can all come to the conclusion now that the question of integrity is a non-issue. I like how you came clean with the ever-expanding audience by saying that you were against me even being in the contest. Integrity. Mikey. He's got it. As does Steve and all the guys doing this great thing. Thanks a million.
Your Ultimate Blogger,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 6:04 PM
Heh. Well, when I've ever gotten something because of my connection (a job or whatever), the person giving me said job has never said it was because of the prior relationship. It has always been on the merits of my performance, talents, abilities, etc.
Mikey didn't contradict (in essence) my contention that Joel was chosen because he's an instigator, nor did he address the notion that Joel is a known quantity.
Joel, in his drunken stupor the other night, was not using such adjectives to describe the judges as he is now. I believe he said they are a bunch of rich kids with nothing better to do with their time and they've never had to make a real decision in their lives.
The girl Joel rescued from an uncertain fate as he fell down the stoop,
Kirsten
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 6:23 PM
p.s. I'm sure Joel doesn't mind me repeating these things as he is a man of integrity and stands by his words. Afterall, this is just "entertainment".
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 6:25 PM
Ooooh. The plot thickens. :)
**Grabs the popcorn, and starts handing out cookies.**
Posted by: Lauren at May 1, 2005 6:27 PM
Oh, it's not that exciting. Joel had invited a homeless young guy up to his apartment who was giving me the willies. Joel eventually had to kick him out (he was unnerving Sara as well). So, I asked Joel to escort me out because I was concerned that this young man was waiting for me. Sure 'nuff, he was sitting on the steps to the apartment. Joel was going to walk me to the motorcycle, but took a tumble down most of the steps instead.
As for the level of connection between Joel and the judges, he claims to know them well enough to tell me that the reason I wasn't selected for the competition is that I don't write well enough. He was pretty straight forward about his inside scoop.
kisses,
Kirsten
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 6:36 PM
Oh boy,
Here we go again. Another confused person. I said Steve is a rich kid. I also said Steve is one of the people I respect most in Portland. Steve supports the arts. Period. Mikey, is one of the most creative scam artists I have ever seen. Both of those guys are completely self aware of who, and what they are. I like who and what they are. I will never say anything about anyone, that I wouldn't say in their presence. I used to, don't anymore. In reference to what Kirsten was saying in her silly post, here's what happened. She came to my house. I found the words she told me, both on the phone and in person, interesting. She weighs at least 300 pounds. Sara made her dinner. One of my friends "scared her". I had way to much to drink. She expressed to me that she felt unsafe about my friend. In order to make her feel ok, as well as be a gentleman, I told her, "don't worry about nothin', no one hurts people on my watch" and proceeded to walk her outside. As she was getting onto her motorcycle, my drunk ass fell down the stairs, my foot is mangled... Ouch. A lot has been said. Hopefully we will all be honest from now on.
The Ultimate Blogger,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 6:47 PM
Kirsten is right, I did call her a bad writer. I said that because she is a bad writer. It's true.
Love,
Joel
PS: This contest is what I need right now.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 6:51 PM
I just gotta say, Lauren, who said "Ooooh. The plot thickens. :)
**Grabs the popcorn, and starts handing out cookies.**
Posted by: Lauren at May 1, 2005 06:27 PM"
almost made me pee my pants. Wherever you are, I dig ya. Thanks for that.
Love You,
Joel
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 6:55 PM
joel, joel, joel... nothing sadder than a man retells tales to cast himself in a better light. no conversations were had regarding how much you admire your friends (and brother) for their contributions to the arts. in fact, you had some choice words about your brother's label.
drunk enough to fall? not sober enough to remember correctly?
real reality,
kirsten
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 6:56 PM
**Offers Joel some coffee with his cookie.**
Please don't pee your pants. This is a brand new blog, fer chrissake.
Posted by: Lauren at May 1, 2005 7:06 PM
Sweetheart,
Know one thing: You said this
(Beginning of Kirsten's email)
" but for some perverse reason i have this intense desire to get you to hate me...
"i love everyone".
whatever.
-k
p.s. what's your AIM id?"
(End of Kirsten's email)
You lose. I don't hate people. Ever.
How You Like Me Now,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 1, 2005 7:10 PM
Sweetie, I wasn't trying to get you to hate me (I was somewhat kidding because I think it's disingenuous to claim that one never hates anyone; you are failing to see that probably due to a current inebriated state), I was being truthful. The truth is that you don't remember a lot of what happened the other night. You did get into the contest, but you have been very pissy and childish about it and it really hasn't been completely on your own merits -- or at least you have some very justifiable insecurities about it. The rules concerning nepotism covered the companies directly involved with the contest, but not its sponsors. It's cool that you benefit from that.
It's fine that you love people who nurture you and tell you what you want to hear, but spurn those who don't. You're very transparent. That will be good for the other 11. I'm happy to have provided a service and entertainment at this stage in the process.
Regarding your claim concerning my weight, you're simply wrong. I have never in my life been close to 300 pounds. I am overweight. Despite that, t'was you requesting to kiss me (despite the incredibly hot girlfriend who is attentive and devoted to you), which I turned down.
Please be careful about those stones. The glass fortifying your house is thin.
With love,
Kirsten
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 7:26 PM
hmm. was looking for the verbage i remembered about relatives of the companies involved not being eligible for the contest. can't find it. weird.
Posted by: kirsten at May 1, 2005 9:14 PM
its too bad all the conversations and introductions take place past my bedtime. i hope being 15 hours ahead doesn't become a problem.
Posted by: james at May 2, 2005 1:31 AM
At this very moment I'm in a microscopic submersible somewhere in your disgusting belly attached to your arm control nerve.
I mean, Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!
I mean, I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me.
That felt good.
Posted by: Ben at May 2, 2005 1:52 AM
Look at Ben, getting all silly. I appreciate the poetry. Are you really from the government? If so, whatcha doin' up so late?
-Joel
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 2:04 AM
Confession from Joel: Right now I am doing one of the things I love to do. I am listening to music sung in Spanish. I am crying. Song playing: La Soledad, by my good friends in Pink Martini. This kind of music always makes me cry. I mean really cry, like a little schoolgirl with a skinned knee. I love it. Thank you, Pink Martini. Absolutely beautiful. Muchas gracias, Pepe Rafael. De los fondos del corazón roto.
Always Your Little Tomato,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 2:15 AM
this is out of control, fast pace to the extreme, if i had been picked i would not have been able to keep up.
Posted by: daniel at May 2, 2005 2:24 AM
Daniel,
Better luck tomorrow.
Love,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 2:52 AM
Anyone seen this: http://www.votefortheworst.com/?
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 4:22 AM
Kirsten,
The verbage you were searching for, had you tried harder, is simply: "Conflict of Interest". There is none of that going on here. You are confused. If you think I'm wrong, keep talking, and the people on this thread will tell you exactly what I am saying.
My Goodness,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 4:48 AM
It's official. I may be falling in love with Marianna "M." Ritchey.
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 5:04 AM
the marianna m ritchey of 'the badger king'? really? wow.... i guess so. i love the badger king!
Posted by: james at May 2, 2005 5:53 AM
Joel, why haven't you made it over to the den yet? Have you been so busy offending your public that you failed to realise everyone is waiting with bated breath for your entrance?
xx
Posted by: mimi at May 2, 2005 6:18 AM
Good morning Mimi,
I think you are a great writer. I have not, unfortunately, made it out of my den. I have hurt leg and can't walk. You are funny. I like you!
Love,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 6:30 AM
Mimi,
Quick question: Are you writing from New York? Man I wish I was there. I love New York. I'm in Portland. I'm glad we're friends again.
Your Friend,
Joel Conrad Bechtolt
The Ultimate Blogger
Posted by: Joel Conrad Bechtolt at May 2, 2005 6:33 AM
The blogger's den silly... yes, I am in New York, I love it too, though I was in Portland for a while before coming here, as my dearest brother Ron lives in Beaverton. I have fond memories of drunken nights getting pulled over for performing oral sex on the freeway (it was all a misunderstanding). Will this competition be akin to a virtual form of 'The Apprentice'? I want to be Donald. Unfortunately, there's no secret places for plotting the imminent downfall of fellow contestants. Maybe we can use my blog for this purpose.
I have to say Lyova is fast earning a special place in my heart for his devastatingly handsome looks, fluid tongue and the fact he is far, far out of my league. *Sigh*. Meeting up with the asshole musician tonight. In the meantime, I suggest you go hop over and say hello to Sonny, Eddie et al and charm us all with a post.
Posted by: mimi at May 2, 2005 6:41 AM
It seems you all have far too much time on your hands 'sweeties'. I can't keep up (nor do I think I want to).
I will say this though- Joel, you appear to be somewhat of a prick. Despite dissecting the comments this fine bank holiday sunny UK afternoon, I find little that endears you to me......perhaps your advocation of free speech.....? I'm all for speaking my mind....
'kisses'- for the mangy foot and tetchy girlfriend predominantly.
cxx
Posted by: unemployed at May 2, 2005 7:03 AM
Revealed? REVEALED??? You didn't say anything about being revealed! I'm in trouble now, brother! Some things aren't meant to be revealed.
Posted by: Dave Goodman at April 30, 2005 3:16 PM