Season 3, Week 1 - Futsal Update

Dudes FC vs. Lightnings

First up was the brand new CEID Marriage Records Lightning facing off against the Dudes FC. The Dudes wanted to postpone the game as they had no subs with literally half their team in Vegas. But the Lightnings were excited for their first game and wouldn't have it.

With a real rag-tag collection of players, the Lightnings managed to score four goals in the game. An exciting two from recent Portland transplant Flint, one from Maria, and one from "Li'l" Jimmy. Jimmy battled nausea in the first half but come back and got his goal in the second.

These triumphant moments weren't enough for the novice team to defeat the experienced Dudes FC, who played an incredible game with no subs for a punishing 46 minutes and scored nine goals.

When asked for comment Lightings team captain Adam Forkner replied, "MY BODY IS DEAD." After catching his breath and noticing the microphone Forkner stood up and said, "I think it was a great first game for us. We are still feeling out our players and working on becoming a stronger team. We made good progress in finding our strengths and weaknesses. As a team we need to continue to look forward and work on our pacing, our communication, and our focus."

There was some controversy on the field when the Lightnings brought in their alternate keeper who turned out to be UHAC team owner Mike Merrill. Merrill dodged questions and mumbled "No comment." when asked about his playing for a rival team. Captain Adam Forkner was a little more forthcoming, "I think he did the best he could and I can't with any sort of certainty say that he let goals go in on purpose or anything, though I can't with any certainty rule that out completely. As a team I think we're going to continue to work with him. He's got a lot of valuable knowledge and experience in the game that we, as a new team, are in desperate need of. His value as an experienced futsal owner/player far outweighs any negative conflicts of interest."

When asked directly about the upcoming April 12th game between the UHAC and the Lightnings and weather he would allow Merrill to play, Forkner clammed up. "I can't comment on that at this time."

Ziba Design II vs. Lonely Sheppards

New team Ziba Design II overpowered the also brand new Lonely Sheppards. The final score was 6 to 2 and unfortunately other than the score, both these teams are still relative unknowns.

UHAC vs. AGFC

VIDEO COMING SOON. The UrbanHonking AC faced their long time rivals, the Albina Going FC, AKA "The Unicorns". Both teams had some noticeable changes in their lineup with new strikers and new keepers. UHAC was able to score two goals and lead by one in the first half with Captain Ryan Wise and the newly signed Gilduin Barre both making it past the Unicorns keeper. New UHAC keeper Kevin Looper did an amazing job in the first half and stayed in for the second in a decision made at the half. UHAC owner Mike Merrill said, "Looper was on fire and [regular keeper] Gene [Merrill] was okay with letting him play on, so he stayed in."

The Unicorns equalized soon after the start of the second half and then it was a long battle of no scoring as neither team could quite make it happen. Just as it was looking like a tie the AGFC turned on the heat and were able to score two goals late in the second half, taking them to victory. UHAC team owner Merrill described the game as a "Heartbreaker" and added, "We played really strong and while today we didn't walk away with a win, I feel very confident about the season."

When asked directly about his playing for the Lightnings, Merrill said, "I don't see why I am even asking myself these questions if I am not going to answer them. It's stupid."

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