January 2007 Archives

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PORTLAND, OREGON--Another chapter in the storied history of the Rivals Cup was written last night... in blood, sweat and tears.

UrbanHonking Athletic Club, eager to avenge its loss in the Cup's inaugural match just two weeks ago, put together a comprehensive victory over Albina Going Football Club in the rematch. The 5-4 final scoreline flattered AGFC, as two of those strikes came "at the death," courtesy of goalkeeper-turned-fielder Doug Hurley.

"We were flummoxed, Brian, frankly speaking," Albina Going manager Zach Dundas said as he removed a mysterious syringe from his arm after the match. "We couldn't keep our shape and our passing was panicked throughout the match. All that said, take nothing away from Athletic. They were well up for it, and deserved their win."

The match had the quality of knife-edge tension fans are already coming to expect from Rivals Cup ties. UrbanHonking showed its determination to close down the Albina attack early on, and emerged from a steely first half with a 2-1 lead. The decisive goal came when a befuddled-looking Dundas was dispossessed on the wing, leading to a rapier finish from UrHo. A frantic late effort from AGFC, which saw fielder Peter Noordijk step into goal with two minutes to pla--a canny, if desperate, tactical move--managed to notch two goals, but fell short.

The win puts Athletic three points clear of its two Cup opponents, though Dudes FC has yet to play a match. The three clubs will meet in a double-round-robin league format, with the most points at the end of Portland Futsal's winter season claiming the coveted Golden Angel of Victory.

Meanwhile, the loss dropped Albina Going to a 1-1 record in the Third Division's Conference Argentina.

"Long season ahead of us, obviously," Dundas said. "We were coming off two successive wins, and perhaps we got too comfortable. I'll have the lads go through their training naked in the snow tomorrow, and we'll put that right."

The Mighty Unicorns will be back in action next Thursday, 25 January, with an 8:20 match against Sofa Kings FC. Sofa Kings opened their season with a narrow win over UrbanHonking, so the match will provide a good barometer for Albina Going.

Here is the second half of the Rivals Cup game where the UrbanHonking AC faced off against the just-regulated Albina Going FC.

And coming up this Thursday is the rematch where we face our new rivals for the first time in league competition!

Thursday, Jan 18th @ 8:20pm
Portland Futsal
3401 SE 17th Ave.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PORTLAND, OREGON--The streets of North Portland filled with revelers until the wee hours this morning, as fans of local strugglers Albina Going Football Club marked the team's shock capture of the Rivals Cup.

"I've supported The Going since I was a wee lad," said an unidentified male fan who was, strangely, carrying an XBox video game console and moving at a brisk trot. "They've never won a trophy before, so I'm over the moon, obviously."

The Mighty Unicorns shattered the hoodoo of eight straight league losses and relegation with a 9-5 win over UrbanHonking Athletic Club in the inaugural Rivals Cup tie at Portland Futsal. The hard-fought contest reflected how passionately these two sides wanted a bauble for the trophy cas-- and portended good things for this new unofficial competition, which will continue as a three-team league-format table as Portland Futsal's Third Division gets underway this week.

The scoreline stood at 4-4 at half-time, but Going pulled away in the second stanza, despite spirited pressure from UrbanHonking. The Unicorns also had to overcome the fantastic big-occasion atmosphere provided by a large contingent of UrHo supporters.

"All credit to Athletic," said a visibly exhausted AGFC skipper Zach Dundas as he threw an empty whisky bottle down North Williams Avenue. "They played a fantastic match, and brought out our best effort yet. We had a hat-trick from Jan Williams, and braces from both Sam Fisher and Michael Day. Doug Hurley--we thought he'd be a last-minute scratch due to a training injury, but he played a superb game in goal. Add in the exploits of the Twin Towers--the Duzik brothers--and the rest of the lads, and it was a balanced job. Club-wide, I'd say, right down to the physio. By the way, where is he? He promised me 'something special' after the match."

The Unicorns now face terra incognita, as regular Third Division play begins on Thursday. Albina Going takes on Legion of Doom FC in a 6:20 fixture at Portland Futsal.

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UrbanHonking AC Manager Ryan Wise responds on True Fan.

Okay, so my estimate of our performance was way off for our first season. I can admit when I am wrong, and it turns out the teams are better than I anticipated. We ended our inaugural season with only a single win and the bottom of our division. Additionally I only posted a single video of the games.

But this is season two! We now have a little experience under our belts and the roster is unchanged from last season. As we build team chemistry and the specific skills of futsal we will become a force to be reckoned with. And of course, we now have rivals.

Last season when we played the Dudes FC we anticipated a win, and we lost. Right then we decided they would be our rivals. It helped that they went to the same place to get a post-game drink, meaning we could continue the trash talk and rivalry off the pitch. When the team was still forming we had attempted to recruit Adrian Chen (as the team owner I was thinking we could market an athletic aftershave with him on the team: "Smells Like Action, Smells Like Chen" CHEN, a new fragrance by UrbanHonking) but he was still tied to his Albina Going FC contract. As a new team we couldn't afford to buy him out and some not so pleasant words were exchanged with the AGFC manager, Zach Dundas.

Well, last season up in Division 2, the AGFC had a worse time than we did, winning not a single match. While losing Division 2 still ranks them higher than us losing Division 3, it does mean that AGFC, AKA The Unicorns, are now in the same league as we are, and therefore they are also our bitter rivals. With two teams as rivals it seems only fitting that we should honor the mutual dislike and create the Rivals Cup.

This coming Sunday marks the first time the Rivals Cup will be issued. The Albina Going FC offered the following statement via press release:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PORTLAND, OREGON -- The Albina Going Football Club begins its Winter campaign this Sunday in dramatic fashion: with its first-ever cup-tie. The Mighty Unicorns face new-minted Third Division foes UrbanHonking Athletic Club in the inaugural match of the Rivals Cup, a new independent competition that promises to become something of a connoisseurs' delight as it unfolds alongside Portland Futsal's official league table.

"Athletic challenged us in the Rivals Cup and then developed what promises to be a fascinating format," said Albina Going manager Zach Dundas from his cigar-smoke-shrouded office at the club's Gothic headquarters building in North Portland. "All credit to them. That said, we've already cleared a spot on the mantel for the little cuss."

The Rivals Cup format was unveiled Thursday by UrbanHonking AC chairman Mike Merrill, a notorious Svengali figure in Portland sporting circle known to sport a replica kit with giant dollar signs in the place of jersey numbers. The winner of Sunday's non-league match between the two popular clubs will be the initial cup-holders; thereafter, league points among three clubs--AGFC, UrbanHonking and mystery package Dudes FC--will determine who takes the trophy at the end of the futsal season.

Albina Going expects a bumper squad for Sunday's match, with almost all key players returned to the training ground after the holiday close-season. "We're looking to limber up for the Third Division, of course," Dundas said. "Speaking strictly for myself, I know I consumed a bit too much of my Gran's pie over Christmas, and I'm eager to get back out on the pitch."

Other Going players to watch for include Michael Day--who promised to "bring my finishing boots" to this momentous match--and Dutch-American midfield Peter Noordijk, who is said to be particularly eager to rectify his ancestral homeland's reputation as a nation that always bottles it when hardware's on the line.

Going's mercurial chairman, Boris "The Bulldozer" Karamatzov, is known to have taken a keen interest in the outcome of Sunday's fixture. In fact, it was rumoured at press time that the Siberian tungsten billionaire might charter a private turbo-helicopter to attend the match in person.

"The Chairman's never been out to the ground itself," Dundas remarked, though he refused to confirm Karamatzov's plans. "He's got a bloody great flat-screen in his den, and prefers to watch matches there in the company of select female friends."

Anticipation among supporters is understandably fervid. UrbanHonking's support is known to come out of the woodwork for the big occasions, while the Unicorn Army, in the words of one prominent supporter, has been "sharpening its horns."

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THE RIVALS CUP :: INAUGURAL MATCH
ALBINA GOING FC V. URBANHONKING AC
7 pm Sunday, 7 January // Portland Futsal // FREE.