UHAC

Proud old Steakburger Golf-o-Rama threatened a morning drizzle at the 3rd Annual UrHo Classic yesterday. With most of the higher scores in the expected 50 to 53 zone, there was one single outstanding player who scored an unprecedented 39, none other than co-organizer Steve Schroeder.

Steve was the defending champion from last year when he scored a 46 on the south course at Steakburger, but this year he breaks the UrHo Classic former record of 45 set by Mike Merrill in 2006, "He's an amazing player," Merrill said, "And to be honest, I don't think he's done setting records on this course."

With a large Independence Day crowd on the grounds, most fans stayed long enough to witness the shootouts for the individual hole prizes. Hole #5's 15 shares of KmikeyM.com stock was won by Big Jeff with a hole-in-one shot. Hole #7's pie was also won by a hole in one by Dave H. The remaining prize holes all came down to shoot-outs.

Hole #9's $20 Fresh Pot Gift Certificate was won by Josh B., Hole #11's SRR Subscription was won by dalas v., and the Oh Dear Buttons package was won by Cabel S.

Congratulations to all the prize hole winners and to Steve Schroeder, winner of the 3rd Annual UrHo Classic. Next year priomises to be even bigger than ever.

Results

Vancouver, WA - The 2008 3rd Annual UrbanHonking Mini-Golf Classic will be played July 4th at Steakburger, tournament officials announced today. It marks the third time Steakburger has hosted the event, which officials promise will be the most extravagant to date.

Date and Time:
July 4th, 2008
Registration: 10:00am
Start Time: 10:30am

Location:
Steakburger Golf Course
7120 NE Hwy 99
Vancouver, WA 98665-0524

Fees:
$10.00 per person (includes green fees and club rental)

Prizes:
$100.00 to first place
Additional prizes based on certain holes.

Golf attire is requested, but not mandatory.

Sometimes a casual pool challenge can turn into an epic display of feats of strength, and sometimes it can just be really boring. Such was the case when five competitors started a competition to see who could tread water the longest.

Steve, Meagan, Mike, Claire, and Molly started out in the game, but as the challenge hit the twenty minute mark all the players could feel the shift from game to something much more important. Claire bailed first, losing not to physical stamina but the sheer boredom.

Just fifteen minutes later Molly dropped out, leaving the most stubborn trio of swimmers to continue.

For unspecified reasons Steve dropped out at the 52 minute mark, leaving just the former collegiate-level aqua-athlete Meagan and the high school state finalist Mike left in the running.

In the end, social pressures caused an agreement between the final two. They would both go out at the 60 minute mark. But due to "unexpected cramping" Mike pulled himself from the pool after 58 minutes in the water, leaving Meagan the lone victor.

The results of the UHAC Pistol Shooting Competition were quite surprising. With very little prior experience Josh Berezin managed his first competitive shooting win.

Results

1st Place: Josh Berezin
Near Target: 69
Medium Target: 61
Far Target: 40
Total: 170

2nd Place: Mike Merrill
Near Target: 70
Medium Target: 48
Far Target: 45
Total: 163

3rd Place: Steve Schroeder
Near Target: 46
Medium Target: 32
Far Target: 29
Total: 107

See more pictures on Steve's Flickr.

After a grueling tournament, UHAC08 is proud to announce that Willow is the reigning Blokus Trigon champion. Initially daunted by her terrible first score she rallied to be the only player to place all her tiles in her second game and worked a low-profile strategy to emerge the champion in the final round.

There were six participants of the UHAC08 BLOCKUS Championship:

• Liz K. (blog)
• J K.
• Willow M. (blog)
• Steve S. (blog)
• Claire E. (blog)
• Mike M. (blog)

What is Blokus Trigon?

A strategy game played on a hexagonal board made up of small triangles. You are given a variety of shapes (all made up of small triangles) and must play with the points touching, but not sides. You are awarded points for all remaining triangles left when the game is over (points are bad). For those familiar with Blokus Classic, this is a little more complex. (Blokus on Wikipedia)

Complete Results

Preliminary Round 1:

• (g) Steve - 13
• (y) Claire - 19
• (b) Mike - 19
• (r) Liz - 26

Preliminary Round 2:

• (b) Liz - 4
• (r) Steve - 18
• (y) J - 20
• (g) Willow - 23

Preliminary Round 3:

• (r) Willow - -20
• (g) Mike - 11
• (y) Claire - 12
• (b) J - 21

At this point both Steve and Claire had a total of 31 points and were tied for the final spot in the Championship Round. The Tiebreaker is played with each player playing two colors.

Tiebreaker:

• Steve - 4
• Claire - 54

Championship Round:

• (y) Willow - 4
• (g) Mike - 8
• (r) Liz - 12
• (b) Steve - 18

So the first UHAC08 Blokus Trigon invitational is over and a champion has been crowned.

UrbanHonking Athletic Club has themed the 2008 season "Bloodsport." Bloodsport is a term commonly used by social reformers to describe sport or entertainment which is believed to be cruel, involving needless human suffering. At UrbanHonking we embrace the suffering that comes of defeat as we attempt new sports and games that we are likely to fail. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it.

by Gene Merrill

Helped by returning veterans Tosh Ashtombe and the Amazing Kentner Brothers, as well as a new acquisition with more than a bit of flash and sparkle on the ball, UHAC carried over a strong finish from last season to squeak out a win vs. a rival cup opponent to open the Fall futsal season.

The boys in green began the game with a flurry of goals-- the always energetic Josh Berezin breaking the seal for the Honkies and newcomer Peter Harkema putting in two more. UHAC eventually climbed to a 4-0 start, giving keeper Gene Merrill dreams of a 1st half shutout.

However that flame was rudely extinguished as the Achilles heel of UrbanHonking AC (its occasionally porous defense) was exposed for the next 30 minutes of play. Multiple attacking Dudes were allowed a free pass behind the backline as UrHo refused to stay marked up, and the Dudes were able to tighten the score to 7-6 by the half. If not for the woodwork the score may have even tilted in favor of the Dudes as their finishing was just a smidge off the mark, and Merrill had more than one lucky save including a freak rebound that landing neatly in his curled legs whilst he desperately tried to locate the ball from a seated position. The defensive woes continued early into the second half as The Dudes managed to tie it 8-8 on some nifty passing in the final third, finding net in a variety of ways, including off the keeper's face (provoking some colorful language from Merrill that was thankfully ignored by the ref).

To their credit, UrHo never surrendered a lead, and with Merrill screaming for defenders the dynamic international Gil (aka "Frenchy") teamed up with the Kentner duo to keep the shots to a bare minimum. Finally The Dudes' shallow bench began to show as play slowed and fortune once again shone on the Honkies. Berezin used his trademark speed to pressure the tiring Dudes all over the court, and turned a long, hopeful throw by the keeper into a beautiful assist by heading it smartly across the field to Gil's waiting foot.

The game ended with a dramatic flair as the Dude keeper sent a long throw into UH's final third in the dying seconds. Berezin marked the Dude's star striker very tightly but he managed to get a head to the ball as the buzzer sounded, sending it into a slow motion volley that found the onion bag just beyond Merrill's outstretched fingers. Thankfully, UrHo had its insurance goal in place or that freakish goal would have cost them dearly. Final score 11-10, and the Honkies were once again able to salt their post-game beers with the sweet spice of victory.

Update #6

We're done!

The beach is kind of drizzly, so we hit the bar. Word is still out on whether we won first place, but we all got medals, so I think we probably did win.

I'll keep posting photos, so check the stream. I'm out for now.

Update #5

Van 1 is done! And they only gloated about it a little. But we are painfully aware that they are now relaxing at the beach with margaritas. Or whatever they serve in Seaside.

Peter's running a long eight-mile leg while the rest of is have gotten to bang out quick little four-milers. But he's really fast, so maybe it's karma.

Time passes...

Just two legs left, Kim's (35) and Jessica's (36). They will almost certainly be in the rain, something we clearly inadequately planned for. Then: Beach party!!! Uh, yeah.

Holly is really wet. Her review of leg 34: "That really sucked."

More photos are up on the Flickr stream.

We're almost done!

Notable quotes, vol 2:

"Josh, give her your pants." "I'm wearing them!"
"When I close my eyes, tonight, I'm going to see butts."

Update #4

Newsflash: running is hard. Honestly, I'm not sure I can recommend it.

Yes, I've finished my second leg (#19), a hilly up and down six miles on country roads in Columbia County. At three in the morning. But now I can take it easy til about noon.

Before my run, though, was our triumphant return to Portland. Jessica, who traveled all the way from Washington, D.C. for this run, ran leg # 12, and was welcomed at the Hawthorne Bridge by her enthusiastic family, who even ran a bit of the final leg with her. She was very touched.

Then, at our rest stop, Kate had made us a big dinner, and cookies, and she wouldn't even let us do the dishes. So nice.

We slept for an hour and a half there, as if that was going to do a lot of good.

Party's back out on the road, on a grueling all-uphill leg. We just stopped to cheer her on, and she was chugging right along. "She's in the zone!" Jessica noted.

Other notable quotes:
"She's a goo-eater."
"I forgot to drink my canned coffee before my leg, and I'm very angry." "That's you angry?"
"The baby head is in the door!"

Don't call us for the next few hours -- we got no cell phone coverage. Yes, cancel your planned 5 am call.

Update #3.1

Oops, sent that out a little prematurely.

It got dark during that last leg, #10, but it's a clear night with a big moon.

Jessica's leg, #12, finishes at the Hawthorne Bridge, and it's where we stop and rest while van #1 heads back out. Word is Kate is cooking something up for us back in Portland. Pictures to follow, surely.

KATU News is here on the trail! Cool.

Map from starting point to Leg 11:

Update #3

Holly just came in from 6.7 miles on the Springwater Corridor and Kim headed out. Jessica is just about going crazy for anticipation for her leg.

Update #2

I ran! Felt pretty good. Which is lucky, cause I have it do it two more times.

Now Patty is out, running leg 8, and looking strong. I suspect she is aiming to sustain a very mild injury that will, nevertheless, prohibit her from completing her assigned legs. So we are providing her a lot of encouragement, cause I don't want to run any extra legs!

We pulled into the transfer and found our volunteer, Lizzie, laying down the law. A traffic control assignment suits her nicely. Before she realized it was us pulling in, she gave us her angry face when we didn't obey her hand signal. Oops, our bad!

Check out up to the minute photos on Flickr.

Update #1

Wow! I'm about to start my first leg, and we saw a guy who just finished, stumbling around, supported by his two friends. Turns out he has heatstroke, and he's being tended to by a nurse. And emergency services are on the way.

So, we're going to try to avoid that!

Update #0

UHAC will be posting Josh's Hood to Coast updates from the road! His team is Mary, Angie, Nicci, Lisa, Hayden, Karen, Josh, Patty, Peter, Holly, Kim, and Jessica.

He has an iPhone, so mainly as a means of showing it off, he'll be writing reports from along the relay.

Their first runner hits the pavement at about noon. Josh will be in the second van, starting about five hours later, so unless something really interesting happens, we won't hear much til the evening.

The rest of the updates will be first person from Josh, and I'll try to update them as he sends them.

Josh's team started at 12:15pm. Here is a map of the first leg:

The Brooklyn Park Pub team went undefeated in the D3 2007 Summer League. The last time they played UrbanHonking AC, back on June 28th, they won 14-7, with only the mercy rule keeping UHAC within seven goals. As UHAC ended up the 5th ranked team, they were scheduled to play the #1 ranked Brooklyn Park Pub in the playoffs. Realistically, everyone expected to lose this game, but the real test was going to be if UHAC could stay within the seven points.

UrbanHonking AC got off to a rocky start with both of their regular keepers unable to make the game (K. Looper was out with an injury, and new father G. Merrill was on taking some personal time). Team Captain Ryan Wise reprised his High School role of guarding the net, which left only one substitute for the 46 minutes game. The other UHAC players were Gil, Peter, Josh, Curt, and Tim G.

Interestingly, the Brooklyn Park Pubber's were also short staffed, with only four players able to take the field at the start of the game, even as the ref waited a few minutes to get started. Unfortunately they played a strong defense for the first minutes of the game and UHAC was unable to score. Eventually their fifth man showed up and entered the game. He was also the first to score a few minutes after entering the game.

The Beast, AKA The Tallest Futsaller Alive, AKA Tower of Power, rocketed in a corner kick to bring the Pubbers up 2-0. UHAC responds quickly with Josh passing it to Gil who shoots to the corner but their keeper manages to bring it in.

Ten minutes into the game and there was a high kick towards the UHAC net. Ryan came out to get it but they managed to shoot one past him. Pubbers were then up 3-0, which caused some grumbling from UHAC.

Josh fed another pass to Gil, who managed to spin his way past two defenders and tap one into the corner! UHAC scored! Just a few minutes later Tim managed to break away and take a shot... the keeper reached out and managed to touch the ball, but it went in anyway! UHAC just one point down with a score of 3-2.

Continuing on a roll, Gil brought the ball up the center, passed it over to Peter who eased one past the keeper! With the score tied up, the Pubbers started to get a little physical. With 5:12 left on the clock they shot one past Ryan and took the lead again, and they got one more in with just 16 seconds left.

It seemed like the lack of subs was taking its toll on both teams. UHAC was pretty upbeat at the half, pleased with their performance so far. The second half started with the Burj Dubai of Futsal firing a rocket of a shot past Ryan. Curt responded with very near miss, looking like he was planning on scoring this half. Unfortunately the "camping" strategy of the Pubbers paid off more dividends with another shot they made with no UHAC defenders in the way. This put the score at 7-3.

Tim came in from the side and the keeper stayed back in the net, fearing the pass, allowing Tim to shoot one past him! Just a minute later and the Angry One managed to weave his way past the UHAC defense and score. With about four minutes left on the clock Peter's injuries caught up with him, meaning no more subs for UHAC. Everyone looked wiped, but Gil made a fast break drawing the defending Pubbers to him, then past it over to Josh, who scored the final goal of the evening, making the score 5-8.

Interestingly, even with the score being 5-8 in favor of the Pubbers, UrbanHonking AC technically won the game by forfeit! The rules state that a team must field a full complement of players, and that is five people. As Team Captain, Ryan brought this up to the powers that be, and apparently this rule is only enforced when a team is short two players, and it's okay to play without one player... None of us are that happy with the ruling, and it would appear that the printed rules that everyone follows are more "guidelines" that can be interpreted in many ways, but if you follow the letter of the law, this was an UrHo victory!

All in all this was a good season for the UrbanHonking AC. We played very, very well against a team that clearly should have been placed in a higher division and we won the Rivals Cup. The team grows stronger each season, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter of the UrbanHonking AC.

Last week, while much of UrbanHonking was scattered to the wind, frolicking about in distant lands, history was being quietly made back in Portland. With much of the team spread over the country, the UrbanHonking AC faced their biggest rival, the Unicorns. With not enough people to even field a team, UrHo AC recruited some younger players (Dillon and Tyler) and placed GK Gene Merrill out as a defender.

The score was 1-1 when Tim Germer came in (better late than never!), giving UrbanHonking two subs! The team put together some nice passes and went up 4-1 before the Unicorns put in a late goal to make it 4-2 at the half.

With few subs, UrHo AC tired in the 2nd half, allowing the Unicorns to get up 5-6 with about two minutes to play. Dillon was on the bench, rested, but everyone was gunning for the tying score so no one subbed! Their persistence paid off when Scott put in the tie goal, and Tim blasted a nice shot to the upper right to put the Boys in Green back in the lead with about 45 seconds left! A little bit of frantic defense followed as the Black Unicorns pushed UHAC around with a corner and some open looks, but they held them off and won the game...

...AND THE RIVALS CUP!

(Thanks to Gene for his coverage of the match!)

At 9:15 tonight the UrbanHonking AC meet the C.E.I.D. Marriage Records Lightnings for the second time. When they met last season it was an epic game where the Lightnings pulled ahead early but lost out to the experiance and stamina of the Boys in Green.

Sparks fly when these teams meet, and we recomend arriving a little early because these games are fast and intense and you don't want to miss any of the action.

Portland Futsal is at 3401 SE 17th Ave. See you there!