Soccer: January 2008 Archives

Pop quiz, hotshot: what sport are we playing in this monstrosity?

yegods, Nike, get a goddamn clue! Read this, please, and go back to the drawing board.

And Adidas, what are you doing to the new DC United shirt? where are the iconic stripes?

This is my sad face. And I'm not even a DC diehard, i just think they play teh pretty football.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew he would hang up the saw and slab for good. But I didn't want to believe that it would be anytime soon.

Timber Jim is retiring.

"I have loved celebrating with Timbers community throughout the years,” said Serrill. “Words simply fall short in summarizing my experiences. I have truly been blessed."

No, Jim, it's we who have been blessed. I can't think of anyone who has such enthusiasm for life and his team, and no one more synonymous with the Portland Timbers. You have left behind some sequoia-sized shoes to fill.

You'll get your last chance to pay respect and see the man in action at the Timbers' home opener against Puerto Rico on April 17th. Tribute thread on TalkTimbers is here.

Yank #5 comes to Fulham: Eddie Johnson's work permit is approved. But more on that in a bit.

Gallons of ink has been spilled, by better writing talent than I, about the woes of supporting a terrible team. Teams that try your patience. Teams that fill you with malaise and ennui, yet you still spend too much of the day refreshing news sites and message boards for bits and scraps of hope. Teams mired in relegation battles, constancy found only in the giant sucking sounds they make each game. My English team, Fulham (yes, i stopped denying it to myself, they are my team after the Timbers) has been the embodiment of the team only a mother could love. and only lowly Derby County have kept Fulham from last place.

Watching Fulham is already hard enough when they aren't on FSC. I've hauled myself over more than once to the local Frat Guy Sports Haus in the Pearl District because it's the only place i can find a free TV with setanta. If they drop to the colaship, i'll be reduced to listening to poor quality audio streams each week. For which i will probably obsessively make time for. sigh.

A few numbers to lend perspective: 13 games without a win. 2 wins in the entire season. 4 wins from the last 40 games. haven't won away since 2006! and just yesterday, went scoreless over 120 minutes, losing on penalties to a team two leagues below! who are in 18th place in that league two levels down! How much farther can the slide go? Lynda and Derek, what was it like last year for West Ham fans? At least you guys had your illegal player to bail you out at the last minute (no, i'm not bitter).

What's most infuriating and depressing to me about the situation is how spectacularly Lawrie Sanchez ran the ship against the rocky coastline, resulting in complete demolition. It was a strategy that really had no middle ground, shipping out a fair number of the existing team in order to bring in half the Northern Ireland side (where Sanchez had just managed them to some acclaim) and talent unproven in the Premiership. On top of that, he enforced a truly repugnant style of football that the players were ill-equipped to execute. I can't describe the exasperation i was feeling seeing Bocanegra or Konchesky hoof the ball up once again to absolutely no one because the boss insisted that square passes were a waste of time. Once Brian McBride went down, the gig was up.

So now Sanchez is out (a month too late) and Roy Hodgson is in and has had the squad for a number of games, how's that turned out? well, so far not too well. of course, when your first three league games in charge are Chelsea, Arsenal, and West Ham away, you don't expect to rack in the points, but being unable to beat Bristol Rovers over two games has to be a red flag. All i can hope is that Roy wanted the cup out of the way so he could concentrate on the league, and i wouldn't blame him if so. But on the other hand, this team needs a win so badly. ANY win. The squad has completely lost confidance and has no chemistry anymore.

The thing is, though, I'm still cautiously optimistic about Hodgson and Fulham:

- Before Roy was named, a somewhat usual list of managerial suspects was trotted out by every tabloid. Venables (eh), McClaren (dear god), Hoddle (dunno), Souness (run screaming), etc. The pick of Hodgson quieted some of the bigger fears because of two things: 1) experience at all levels: Blackburn, Inter Milan, Copenhagen, Switzerland, Finland, etc. this was definitely a man who wasn't going to panic because he's never been in a dogfight before. 2) because of that experience, he should have plenty of contacts to find new players in the January window.

- Those new signings are starting to come in, and though they're still not Premiership standbys, they show more promise than Sanchez' NI squad. Brede Hangeland is a 6'5" central defender with some size. Height has been completely missing from Fulham's back line. Andreasan should go a lot towards filling the gaping hole in midfield left by the departure of Papa Bouba Diop, and to a lesser extent, Luis Boa Morte. Why Sanchez thought Steven Davis and Danny Murphy could replace them is beyond me.

- which brings me back to Eddie Johnson. Eddie is the sort of player that's always infuriated me, much in the same way that Landon Donovan does. He's obviously talented and faster than all get-out, but he's traditionally played with a sense of entitlement because of his past exploits, and mentally takes himself out of games. I've never seen him in the McBride/Dempsey mold of battling hopelessly for 90 minutes, and that's actually what Fulham need a few tons of right now.

BUT, the other side of it is that he's faster and more of a goal poacher than anyone else at Fulham save McBride, who is probably still a month away from being back and match fit. Also, i think that partly what Landon and Eddie both have needed was a kick in the shorts from someone who really knows the game and knows how to develop young players with loads of potential upside. If Roy can provide that for Eddie, good things can and will happen.

- and finally, the single biggest thing that gives me hope is this: the league has spread the suck around. Usually, there's a handful of clubs that prop up the rest of the table, and the relegation fight is fairly limited. This year, slots #13-19 are separated by just 7 points! any two of Bolton, Middlesboro, Wigan, Sunderland, Birmingham, Reading and Fulham can conceivably join Derby in going down. Rather than being a foregone conclusion, it's a mad scramble for points.

Which makes next Tuesday's fixture at Bolton so much more important. It's an absolutely must-win game for Fulham, and just happens to be the first game that Hodgson's signings can get in. Bolton have just sold Anelka to the zombie army (terrible decision from Bolton's view if you ask me... where are their goals going to come from now? but i suppose you don't just turn down £15 million lightly), so there's nothing forgone about the fixture, 6 points are at stake. Here's hoping Eddie can score the game-winner in his debut!

(Bolton v. Fulham is on FSC Tuesday the 29th at 3pm Pacific time.)

And the Angels Sang Hosannas

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from today's Trib:

• Finally, PGE Park is getting a new artificial surface.

The plan is to begin tearing out the old NeXturf today, with a new FieldTurf surface expected to be in place by mid-February – in time for the Oregon State-Georgia three-game baseball series beginning Feb. 29. It’s a $1.1 million project that will benefit the Portland Beavers and Timbers, Portland State and the local high schools to no end.

The turf at piggy has been one of the single greatest obstacles to getting better soccer in Portland. No big teams will come to play on it, players think twice about signing for the Timbers because of it, and the terrible lack of absorbtion means games look like a ragged game of net-less volleyball. While grass is obviously every Timbers fans' first choice, almost anything is better than that peach fuzz crap that's there now.

On another note, I've been on record before about idiotic team names in MLS, and if you've prompted me "IRL", as the kiddos say, you've probably regretted asking my opinion of said names (short version: Burn, Mutiny, and Wiz are just as terrible as Real Salt Lake). But Emerald City Greens?! Are you fucking kidding me? I still can't stop laughing. Please please please don't be a rumor. Couldn't happen to a more deserving city!