Last night was the Rock Paper Scissors (RPS) tournament at The Florida Room, a whirlwind double-elimination tournament of 28 competitors that was over in under an hour! Competing for Team UrHo was Josh "The Rock" Berezin and "Paper" Willow.

The prize was a Rainier cooler full of beer schwag, but it seemed that most everyone was really playing for pride. I tried to broker a deal between the people we knew to play The Infinite Draw* but the competitive spirit was too strong.

The rounds were fast. While the judges had the final say and did put in place a "No Weird Bullshit" rule, it was difficult to tell who was moving on and who was being regulated to the loser's bracket. With no breaks and little explanation, it wasn't long before we were watching the final rounds.

*The Infinite Draw is when two players get locked into throwing the same thing over and over and over again for fear that the other person will anticipate their next move.

Putt Putt is not mini-golf. Mini-golf is the randomness of laughing clowns and spinning windmills. Putt Putt is a game of skill and geometry, like billiards it's all angles and skillful shots. The courses lack the road-side attraction of mini-golf--though the course we visited did have a giant giraffe on top of a rocky waterfall--but the consistency in the game from course to course suits it much better to regular competition, such as the Sparkle City Open tournament in Spartenburg, SC.

Thanks to Curt, who is the co-author of this post, States Rights Records for the song In The City, from the recently released Xiu Xiu vs. Grouper - Creepshow album, and to our friends at the Pro Putters Association.

The 2006 Northwest Regional Barista Competition is over and Portland did very well. The six finalists were written on a white board: Billy, Kyle, Lindsey, Jon, Maki, and Kevin. Klaus Thomson, the reigning World Barista Champion, was the MC and after what seemed like a never-ending run of "thank yous" and mentions of sponsors, he finally announced the winners!

We here at UrbanHonking congratulate Albina Press for taking home two of the top three spots and cementing Portland's reputation as the home of coffee-culture in the northwest! (the specific winners are announced in the video below)

Speaking of terrible names and terrible logos, yesterday also saw another team expansion announcement, this one from the NLL (that's the National Lacrosse League, remember?) announcing the arrival of the Chicago Shamrox.

I repeat:

Chicago Shamrox.

OK, here's the thing, NLL; the letter X was edgy for like 2 minutes in the mid-90's. Yeah, we get that the sport is laCROSSe, and the sticks, they cross sometimes, like an... uh... X. Very clever. But please, for the love of god.

Stop it.

Just ... please. I can't take it any more.

UPDATE: Somehow, I managed to miss this wonderful speciment, though:

that's Toronto's CN Tower, playing the guitar. I guess the team has changed the logo since, but can anything top that? No, I didn't think so.

Friday night I attended a Ping Pong tournament hosted by Nuin and Tom. I am not very good at Ping Pong, but I love an organized competition! My first opponent was 15 years old. I figured I had the advantage, being more experienced in life, competing in general, and just having a much more well-rounded view of the world. And it was true, I beat his ass! I didn't rub it in too much, as I was by no means sure of my victory, and also, he had a sweet Rip City shirt on!

I'm sure he would have killed me on the basketball court.

Next it was like a retelling of the classic biblical tale, DAVID AND THE GOLIATH. Except instead of the humble David it was me, talking a lot of trash. And instead of Goliath, it was... a HUGE HUMAN, who i think may have been the 15 year-olds Dad. Well, unlike David, there was no underdog victory here. I was beat, and beat bad!

Fiona and I have played before, and we always seemed pretty evenly crappy. But something changed that night... and she became a Ping Ponging machine!

She lost her first match to Josh, but she took him into double overtime or whatever you call it.

Once I was out of the game, my attention wavered. But Josh was still in it, and if he went to the championship, we thought he would probably be facing The Great MacKenzie. The Great MacKenzie is a superb ping pong player, and he was crushing everyone. In order to level the playing field, it was my job to get The Great MacKenzie drunk. So I offered him beers, challenged him to drinking contests, and made certain he was drinking all the time.

In a way, it worked. The Great MacKenzie did not win! But unfortunately, neither did Josh. Josh went out to Jonah, who ended up taking out The Intoxicated MacKenzie. Oops.

I did not get pictures of many other players, which is unfortunate. I did capture a nice image of Bretta when I think he was facing Fiona (I don't know who won).

In the end, I am not a good Ping Pong player. Josh is solid, and Fiona is better than expected. If this competition happens again, I'll do my best to better track the results.

(see more pics on Flickr)

Well, as my Titans are rapidly heading into injury-plagued disaster, and as I live in Canada, I suppose I can take a little time off today to talk about the Super Bowl of Canadian Football. The Grey Cup Game, which determines the champion of the Canadian Football League (CFL), is played this weekend, and NFL ratings will drop sharply north of the 39th parallel on Sunday.

I, like 99.9% of Americans, had no idea there was Canadian Football before moving to Canada in 2001. Upon hearing about it, I scoffed. Seriously, how good could a game be that had a 55-yard line, 20-yard end zones, 12 players, and only 3 downs? What delusion of grandeur could convince those poor misguided Canucks that their game was worthy of the name Football?

That was before I learned that the Harvard Rugby games played in 1874, from which sprang the college craze for American Football, were played against McGill University, from Montreal, and that the Canadians taught the Americans the game. So OK, the Canadians may have a bit of history to support their claim to the game. What happened from there, however, brought us to two very different places.

The official website of the CFL (www.CFL.ca), states that the CFL was officially named the CFL in 1958, some 26 years after the NFL had been named, but both countries have a long, rich tradition of football and rugby competition. So, let's look at some of the differences, shall we?

As I mentioned before, the CFL field is bigger than the NFL. The middle of the field is the 55-yard line, and the end zones are 20 yards deep, as opposed to the standard 10 yards of the NFL. Also, the field is wider, 195 feet, to the NFL's 160. The extra room is needed, as CFL teams field 12 players.

Though no one will argue that the talent level in the CFL is below that in the NFL (after all, if you've got the talent, wouldn't you rather play in a league where the rookie minimum salary is 5 times the average CFL salary?), it is very difficult to argue that the product is a lesser one. The bigger field, emphasis on passing (with only 3 downs to cover the same 10 yards for a new first down), and additional ways to score make for a much more offensive-oriented game. And, as in any league where the talent is mixed, there is a much higher chance for the unexpected to happen.

Some CFL stars made the jump to the NFL, and have done rather well for themselves. Doug Flutie, for example, had won a few Grey Cups before joining the Bills as a rather serviceable QB. Warren Moon wasn't too bad either, and Jeff Garcia, despite T.O.'s opinion, didn't stink up the joint in San Francisco. In fact, because of the emphasis on the passing game in the CFL, quarterbacks seem to have the easiest transition to the NFL. Most who do make the jump become 3rd-stringers, or serviceable backups, but a few have made a name for themselves. There are a few other players who've made the jump as well. Marc Boerigter has averaged 18.6 yards per catch with the Chiefs since joining them in 2002, for example.

And oddly enough, there have been quite a few players who, while only "solid," or "steady" players in the NFL, became greats in the CFL. Doug Flutie is one of them, as well. Today, you can see John Avery (once of the Miami Dolphins) tearing up the field for the Toronto Argonauts, who are in the Grey Cup game this weekend. Given the year they've had, Avery might just get a phone call from Miami after the game.

It's a tougher schedule in the CFL. 18 games, rather than 16, and in a colder climate. There are only 40 players on a CFL team, so no one except the QB's is above special teams. If they're not playing on old-style astro-turf (and pounding their knees to jelly), they're playing outside in substantially cooler temperatures than anyone other than Green Bay or the Pats.

I did enjoy the few CFL games I've seen. No, the stadiums aren't as big, nor the production quite as "sexy," and it's obvious that there's not nearly the money involved (average season ticket prices for a B.C. Lions game were about that of a single-game Seahawks Club Seat ticket), but it's still guys going out and playing their hearts out on a football field. And that's never a bad thing to see.

First, some background: Bill Clement played in the NHL for 11 years, and even made the All-Star roster. He now provides commentary and analysis on ESPN and ABC for hockey and charges $5k-$10k for corporate/motivational speaking events. I can respect his hockey playing/analyzing prowess and will concede that he has general speaking talent (although I can't verify this personally). However hockey is not table tennis.

Admittedly, I didn't have much of a problem with his commentary at first. Although it didn't give me any extra knowledge of the game, it was servicable. After watching the second game, though, hearing that that China dominates table tennis after every third point was getting a bit old. Also, you only need to say "Zhang Yining is the No. 1 seed" three or four times for me to understand that she's the No. 1 seed.

What particularly bothers me, though, is a comment he made as Zhang was wrapping up her game 4 win to take the match: "Zhang Yining is the mongoose of table tennis."

...

Mongoose!? What!?

A quick Google (NASD: GOOG) search provides this quote: "The mongoose, then, is a clever little creature with a deadly ability to look after itself in the wild. Let us respect it for its power while admiring it for its lovable antics."

I can understand a need to be clever and deadly (metaphorically speaking) in sporting events, but I still wouldn't use "lovable antics" to describe Olympic athletes.

When I was in college, I took some courses in Fencing. My instructor placed a lot of emphasis on traditional technique and form. That's quite different from the display I watched at the Titan Games last night.

The fencers on the strip were very skilled and it was impressive to see their quick blade-work, but I was disappointed that there was little traditional form left in competitive fencing.

Foil fencing represents a duel to the death. Historically, one's honor was their life, so if another person questioned your honor, it was potentially devastating. The resolution was a duel -- to the death. That's why only the torso, abdomen and groin are valid target area. If you stab someone in the arm, they'll likely survive, and it's not honorable to duel with someone who can't fully compete. If you stab them in the leg, you have to wait until they heal before attempting to kill them.

Epee comes from a more minor form of feud. Historically, the object is to draw blood, not kill. In Epee, every part of the body is valid target area.

Sabre fencing developed for people on horseback. Slicing someone's leg off doesn't do much good if the horse their sitting on still has four more. The sabre weapon is also meant to slice, not stab.

The deviation from traditional form is a result of electronic scoring. This is particularly noticable in the foil event. Fencers wear a vest that is woven with electrically-conductive material. The tip of each blade is a button that is also conductive. When one tip touches the other vest, it completes a circuit letting the judge know that a touch has been made. This doesn't sound like a problem until you consider that fencing foils aren't the most rigid instruments (for many reasons, including safety). Fencers have exploited this by flicking the blade, causing it to bend around an opponent's parry and score a touch.

Also, classically trained fencers focus on proper stance and movement. It is possible to step forward and backward while keeping one's torso at the same level. The fencers at the Games bobbed up and down like boxers. That bobbing motion creates opportunities for an opponent. If your feet are not on the ground, it's incredibly hard to move out of the way of an oncoming blade.

The only fencers who maintained their stance were the wheelchair fencers, which was very interesting to watch. Not able to move forward or backward, this fencers had to rely on their blade work to score touches.

Although I was disappointed in the lack of form of the fencers, their skill was certainly respectable. During the competition, the blades were moving so fast, I could rarely see them. The action was fast and furious. Since it was a team competition, each bout's score was added together. The US and Korean teams traded the lead often, but the US ended ahead 99-88.

Check out GameThumb for a post about a link between the video game world and fantasy sports.

During lunch today at Henry's they had the French Open on the projection screen. While we ate, Serena Williams and Maria Kirilenko battled it out above our heads. Tennis players move quickly, and need a wide range of motion, so I was surprised when Steven pointed out Serena's giant hoop earrings.

I was curious about this, and checked in on Venus, who also had large (almost painful looking) earrings.

Last summer was the summer of disc golf. I learned the sport, played a lot, saw a lot of courses, and had a lot of fun. I just played two very exciting rounds of miniature golf including some very heavy wagering. The traditional version of links golf has always been a really fun day out, and really matches the urbanhonking concept of Class Factor. So, which version of the time honored sport of golf will win out this summer? Maybe something new all together like speed golf. Is anyone up for some golf fun?

I recently learned about the ancient Mesoamerican game of ulama from an article in the Economist. The game, which is still played today, has a continuous history going back almost 4,000 years. As the article says, "This is not to say the rules of ulama have not changed over the years--ritual sacrifice of the losers is thought to have died out in the 1300s."

From what I understand, you play on a long, narrow field (60 meters by 4 meters), and you have to hit this very heavy (9 pounds!) rubber ball with your hip or thigh toward the other team.

According to the Economist article, "The rules of ulama are still today in flux, and often not even understood by the participants. This is why in a match each team brings a veedor, an elder who is meant to settle disputes over the rules."

That seems like a good idea, but it would have been even more important back when they sacrificed the losers.