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At one point in the evening, describing the position the Portland Beavers and Portland Timbers were in upon buying the teams, owner Merritt Paulson says "now, I don't want to speak ill of the previous management..."

Before he can finish, however, a chorus of "Please do!"s erupt from our table. "Our table" in this case is the de facto Timbers Army table, four of us doing the representing (two hairy, two non, if you must know) at a cozy chat over brews and finger food at the Bridgeport Brewery. To an audience of about 25 people for just under two hours, Merritt took questions with aplomb and grace on everything from MLS, MLB, his Treasury Secretary father, even touching on the Blazers at points, and reminded us just how much of everything the previous owners did wrong.

"I don't think absentee sports ownership works," he says, explaining his decision to jump in with both feet and change his zip code to the 972's. Later he will repeat his quote from the Tribune feature, "the community owns the team," and it seems Paulson takes that to heart in just about everything he does for the teams.

But enough exposition, you want some updates on the Timbers, right?

The Teasing

- The Timbers are in negotiations to bring two Mexican teams, one English team, and one Spanish team to Portland for exhibitions. Only one of these is confirmed signed and will be announced, the others are in the works.

- The entire Timbers defense will return for 2008. This surprised us a bit, and we weren't sure regarding Leonard Griffen (who left to fulfill his contract with the Columbus Crew) whether he meant Leo would return or if it was a forgotten omission. Regardless, Merritt was very bullish on the Timbers roster for '08, and Justin Thompson will be back!

- The team has signed an asian international who's scored World Cup goals! One easily found on youtube! And a "young guy," not on the tail end of his career! Touted as the biggest signing in Timbers history, this one set the intertubes ablaze with rank speculation. Did Togo score any goals last time around?

The Pleasing

- Paulson laid a lot of groundwork to set the context for his MLS plan. Merritt has been looking for an MLS opportunity for years. Contrary to what we in the TA suspected, that Paulson bought a baseball team, found out he had a soccer team and got hooked, Merritt painted a picture of having his eyes open for an MLS deal, and then saw the opportunity with Portland. Most specifically, Merritt saw PGE Park as a leg up in having a facility ready as fast as possible for MLS. (It should be also noted that Paulson had very high praise for MLS, calling it the best opportunity in sports right now, and specifically praising the work of Don Garber and Mark Abbott.)

- Merritt's MLS economic plan is practically ready, and it "all will be out there in a short amount of time." Paulson stated again that he would pay the MLS expansion fee and associated costs, but is looking to "raise about $100 million" to make it work. Some of this would be for adding the east side stands and converting PGE to a horseshoe instead of its current boomerang layout, and the rest (probably majority) of that would go to building the Beavers a 8-10,000 seat park of their own (which would be upgradeable for MLB, of course). Paulson's group has four or five sites in mind, but didn't want to name specifics for fear of the debate over locations overtaking the discussion at hand.

Paulson contrasted this $100 million figure against the cost of a new MLB team and park starting at around $600 million. Merritt was unequivocal in his assessment that Portland is not ready for MLB, and even if it were, Paulson wouldn't really be the guy to do it. He's here for the MLS action.

- Many conversations have been happening in all directions between MLS, the City, and Merritt's group. Even though Merritt hasn't been talking to the mayor (it is an election year, after all), he has been very engaged with the city. There shouldn't be much surprise on 4th Ave when the plan finally hits the street.

- There are a number of different funding options, and Merritt has been approached by more potential partners than he can conceivably include. This tells me that Portland's business community would get behind the MLS Timbers rather quick.

- MLS "may" tolerate sharing PGE Park with the Beavers "for 5 years" or so. I read this as "will tolerate" myself, but that could be wishful thinking. The Trib reporter who quasi-moderated led off with a question about MLS policy requiring "soccer-only stadiums" and Paulson called that "a simplification," going on to explain that the league would most likely work with the teams co-existing on a short-term basis.

- PSU Football is very enthusiastic about the plan. The horseshoe configuration helps them as much as it helps the Timbers, and the stadium is a good selling point for recruiting, believe it or not. Increasing the number of 50-yard line seats is gravy for them, and they may be a good ally to have as this plan winds through city hall.

The Confirming of Our Worst Fears

- Jordan and Wicks are gone. Merritt couldn't disclose what we got for them, but did confirm they were gone and that the team was well compensated. I wake up this morning to find that Bob's already on the case.

Big props to Merritt for taking our questions.I haven't been this excited about MLS to Portland in a long time, and I put it down to the enthusiasm and organization of Merritt Paulson, . He's incredibly bullish about the league, about Portland, and about the Timbers, and it sounds like he's done his homework and has a plan of action. There's no question that we couldn't have asked for a better owner to lead us into this challenge.

All in all, a great night to be a Timbers fan, made even better by returning home to find my 2008 season tickets awaiting me. Mmmmm, the smell of fresh Timbers tickets.....

First of all, a brief shoutout of good luck to my beloved UrbanHonking AC, who take on (are probably taking on as I type this) Dudes FC in their second Rivals Cup fixture, because I'm unable to join them tonight. Godspeed, gentlemen.

So your intrepid author, stereotypical Oregon hippie that he is (vegetarian? check. SE Portland address? check. socialist leanings? check. big head of hippie hair plus beard? check.), types these words from a corporate-sponsored Hilton suite, deep, as they say, in the heart of lone star steak country. Said author's travelling companion is a Chicago native, obviously the original inspiration for Da Superfans, who planned his travel itinerary such that not a single moment of Da Bears playoff spectacular would be missed this Sunday. If this is beginning to sound like a bad 90's remake of The Odd Couple, you're not too far off the mark.

Being along for the ride anyway, I decided to accompany him and attempt to at least remember if not re-live some of the excitement I once had for the Broncos as a youth growing up outside of Denver. American Football and I have had a rocky relationship over the years. Loved it as a kid, played it in High School even though I knew in my heart the love was fading, swung to active hate during college, and faded back into mild indifference in the present as I race headlong towards my 30th birthday.

Kickoff commences, and the first thing that comes flooding back to me, other than the realization that my "ceaser" salad is sprinkled with bacon bits, is that I forgot about the commercials. Oh dear. I know how clichéd this sounds, but there is literally 30 seconds of action followed by 30 minutes of commercials. I don't know how such a terrible oversight occurred on my part. Having been tivo-enabled for the last 3 years or so, i've thankfully banished even regular length commercial breaks out of my life. I'm not equipped with the intestinal fortitude to make it through football-sized commercial breaks.

Each time they return, my sphincters unclench a bit and my mind resets into sports absorption mode again, but right when my bile has lowered and i'm ready for something exciting to happen, the requisite four plays are past and the advertising beast must be fed again. Hearing me groan once again, my companion says, "See, this is why soccer will never be big in America. Advertisers can't make any money when there's no breaks." Watching a Rock-Em-Sock-Em Robot take on a pickup truck for the 9th time, I think that's probably best for all parties, but instead I mumble something about MLS approving ads on the front of jerseys and pitch-side ad boards.

As the game progresses, I'm reminded how cut and dry American Football is. Since each team has, I think, 3 chances to score before "time" runs out, every possesion is either pure glory or utter failure. Or a field goal. (I'm told that one of the teams has two kickers. How much does it suck to be one of those guys? You would get 3 chances to touch the ball, but now you have to share those with some other guy. I bet he cries himself to sleep at night. On a pile of $100's.)

This also leaves no grey areas. How do NFL message board geeks get by on this? In soccer, one fan's Maradona is another fan's Joey Franchino, and neither get much definitive proof either way. Other than those two exact players, soccer talent, and soccer games, play out so much more elusively, on a long gradient from blah to bellissimo. There are fewer ways of quantifying what makes a soccer player "good", and the moments of pure joy in the beautiful game sometimes happen far away from the goals. And don't even get me started on the subject of stats unless you're ready to hear A Grumpy Old Man.

Eventually, we finish lunch, and my third Shiner (oh how woeful it is to be anywhere where the best beer available is Shiner). The Saints have crawled back into the game off of one moment of individual excellence from Reggie Bush. The Loch Ness Monster has attacked 5 more pickup trucks. My travelling partner either takes pity on me, or seriously wants to finish the game in his hotel room. I don't care which, because whatever game drama is beginning to solicit genuine interest is washed away with the salivating thought of checking my email.

So I wussed out. I wasn't man enough to take on the big boys. Although, apparently I didn't miss much afterwards, as New Orleans decided they were done for the evening. All I was left with was the thought: MLS needs "saving" so it can be more like this? Can you pass the sepukku knife?

Remember lunchtime pick-up games on the playground in grade school? When guys would line up, two captains were chosen, and teams got picked from the pool of available bodies (the "talent" came later, for most of us, anyway)? Remember the excitement as the group headed out to the field, before the teams were picked? The adrenaline rush of angst and anticipation while you waited for your name to be called, or the finger pointed at you? For some, it was one of the highlights of the day; for others, a mere formality to be endured, and for still others, a grueling exercise of embarrassment, social ostracism and shattered dreams.

Welcome to the NFL Entry Draft. Things haven't changed all that much, except now there are 32 "captains," several hundred guys waiting to be picked, and hundreds of millions of dollars at stake. Ok, there's a bit more to it than schoolyard games, starting with the countless hours invested by team scouting departments, the massive effort of the annual Scouting Combine, and, of course, the realization that this is the NFL. In recognition of the upcoming 2005 Entry Draft being held this weekend, here's something of a primer, for those of you us who don't quite "get it," but who, nevertheless, may find themselves listening to sports radio, watching the NFL Network, or clicking onto NFL.com on Saturday and/or Sunday - or for those of us who want to be able to understand why our football-fanatic friend is calling, excited out of his (or her) mind, screaming about how the home team "scored HUGE" in the middle of what you thought was the offseason.

In it's simplest terms, the NFL Draft is a device designed to help ensure competitive parity between teams in the NFL. Ok, maybe that wasn't the simplest terms. Try this: just like picking teams on the playground, the Draft is supposed to make sure that all the most talented players don't wind up on the same team year after year. Also just like picking teams on the playground, the system isn't perfect, and doesn't always work out.

Today's Draft is organized into 7 rounds of selections. Each team gets one selection (or "pick") in each round. The order of the picks is determined by the won-lost results of the previous season, with the team having the worst record picking first, and the Super Bowl Champions picking last in each round. That's how it starts, anyway. Teams are allowed to trade picks, including picks obtained in previous trades. For example: Team A trades their first and third round picks (A1 + A3) to team B for team B's first round pick (B1), because team B's pick is sooner in the round; team B later decides that they want to select a player sooner than Team A's pick will allow them to, and trades picks A1 and B3 to team C for their first round pick (C1). Confused yet? In addition, the NFL awards "Compensatory Selections" to teams that the NFL feels needs them for various reasons (most commonly to offset losses of key free agents in the off-season). These "extra picks" can be added at the end of any round from the second through the seventh. For now, it's enough to know that every team begins with 7 picks each year -- one in each round -- based on how well they did last year.

So, who are the reams "picking" from? Theoretically, the list includes every graduating college senior in the United States, as well as any juniors who wish to "declare themselves eligible." Once a player has "declared" for the draft, they are no longer eligible to play for amateur teams (i.e. NCAA College programs), so to "declare" early is a big decision -- if the player isn't drafted, they can't go back to school as a football player (anyone can go back to school as a student, but that's not the point here…). In practice, the pool of talent is every player who has never played for an NFL team and who declares himself eligible (which involves filing papers with the NFL). The number of eligible players is large, but not as unimaginably large as one might think at first glance.

A player selected by a team is deemed "property of" that team, and that team has rights of first refusal on hat player's services. It does not guarantee a contract will be signed, nor that a player will not be cut from a roster later, but should a player not agree to terms with the team that drafted him, he is not allowed to sign with another team either -- the player will "sit out" the entire year. In practice, a first or second-round (and even third round) selection is expected not only to play, but to start at their position the year they are selected, and are rarely cut from a roster once the contract is signed.

The format of the Draft is rather showy. Each team is given 15 minutes to make their selection, beginning with the first pick. Once the selection is made, the Commissioner of the NFL will announce the selection from a podium at the front of a really large room (Madison Square Garden, for example), and the next team to select will be officially "on the clock." If a team doesn't make their selection in the allotted time frame, the next team is allowed to pick in that position, and the original team is given the chance to pick afterwards. For example: If I am scheduled to pick in the 6th position, but do not do so in the allotted time, the team scheduled to pick 7th will be allowed to pick in my spot. I will then pick 7th. In the later rounds, (4th-7th), the time limit is shortened. It is assumed that later picks are less affected by the picks before than are the highly valued picks in the early rounds.

Picks can be traded at any time, up to and including while "on the clock." Teams will often field phone calls from other teams offering trades while "on the clock" if those other teams see their needs being threatened. For example, if there are three highly rated quarterbacks available and the team in position 10 needs a QB, they may sit tight until the first two QB's have been selected. Once there is only the one left, they will scramble to trade up to the next pick so they can get the player they need. They could have traded up to the numbers one, two, or three spots well before draft day to ensure getting their player, but to do so may involve paying a higher price than they have to. If, for example, the teams in the first three spots were expected to pick players from other positions, there would be no need to trade up that high, because the top three QBs would all still be there. On the other hand, waiting can be risky as well, because the team that needs a running back might still surprise everyone and take a quarterback instead for some reason.

Draft strategy can be quite complex. That's why General Managers of NFL franchises get paid so well. And they all pay a staff of scouts and personnel advisors to help them get it right. After all the hours and money invested, it's still a gamble. Figure in the ramifications of the salary cap, offensive and defensive systems, retirements, injuries, and expected free-agent signings, and it just gets more and more complex. Quite frankly, to someone who doesn't have a direct stake in what's going on, figuring out the complexities can be more trouble than it's worth.

Still, thousands will be paying attention on Saturday and Sunday, anxiously awaiting the news of what bright young star has been selected by their team to carry the hopes of the franchise in the future. There will be hours and days and weeks spent reviewing every move of the draft, trying to break down strategy, expectations, strengths and weaknesses of each team. Season tickets will be sold entirely on the strength of expectations lifted by a young man who will be given more money than he ever thought possible to put on a jersey and play a game he's loved his entire life.

The NFL Draft is big business, and it's one of the grander spectacles in professional sport today. It can be exciting, intriguing, or merely boring, depending on who you are and how your team is affected. It results in hundreds of millions of dollars changing hands, and helps decide the fate of every NFL team each year. Fortunes are made, families changed forever, prayers answered, and dreams shattered. And it is the beginning of another exciting year of NFL Football.

Next time: Things ain't as they appear, and a review of this year's draft.

Why is everyone so wrapped up in knots about Randy Moss and his fake moon? Worse, There's a great stink about Mike Vanderjagt and his comment about the Pats being ripe for the plucking. Holy smoke folks! And I do mean smoke. Let's look at these issues, shall we?

First, Randy Moss in the Green Bay game. For those few of you who don't know, Randy Moss, after scoring a touchdown at Green Bay, pretended to moon members of the crowd. Note carefully, he pretended to do this. He never actually took his pants down. For this act, the NFL fined him $10,000, and Joe Buck, the FOX sports play-by-play guy calling the game, called him "disgusting" and "classless."

Now, don't get me wrong, Randy Moss is a jerk of the lowest caliber, and he is quite often classless. It can be argued that he shows his buttocks on a regular basis, figuratively speaking. If he was on any team I owned, he would be traded (out of the division) ASAP. He's not worth the headaches. All that said, a fake moon is really a non-issue. Given his history, we should be thankful he didn't actually take his pants down.

Predictably, Moss' response to his fine was to note just how little $10,000 meant to him (it "ain't s---"), and to suggest that next game he'll likely remove his pants and do a bit of a "full monty" at the crowd. While the original act was a blip, this response proves that Joe Buck was at least partially correct – Moss is truly classless.

Mike Vanderjagt, the "Great Canadian Mouth," said publicly that he considers the Patriots to be ripe for the picking – that they're not as good now as they were in the beginning of the season. Immediately, there was a huge uproar that a kicker would dare to say such things. There are several schools of thought regarding why Vanderjagt shouldn't have said what he said – all of them are self-righteously incorrect.

School 1 says that Vanderjagt is a kicker, and thus has no right to say anything at all about "real players."

Please. First off, he's one of the best kickers in the NFL – thus, he's a player who's good at his job. Secondly, As a kicker, he spends most of his time watching the other players – which gives him time to analyze how they're doing their jobs. Thirdly, 90% of the pundits who've been saying the exact same thing as Vanderjagt has been have never played football in the NFL. Why is it ok for people who've never been in a game to say it, but not a kicker?

Which brings us to School 2. School 2 (mostly peopled by pundits) says you should never say something like that about the team you're about to play because it gives them "locker-room material." The concept here being that the other team may take offense, and come to the game exceptionally fired up, which would give them an edge, causing them to beat you.

First, if a team isn't "fired up" to the max before a playoff game, they don't belong there, and they will lose. A comment from the other team (especially from their kicker) shouldn't have much additional effect. Secondly, if it does have an effect, it may well be detrimental. If the other team is fully jacked up because it's a playoff game, and they manage to get additionally jacked up (Jagt up?), they may wind up too excited, and get sloppy for a few downs. Giving the Colts offense a few free downs usually means giving them a free touchdown or two. Third, if his comments do draw extra attention from the Pats, Vanderjagt will have done his team a bit of a favor. If the Pats are focusing on the kicker, they're paying less attention to Manning and his offense. That would be a bad idea. An even worse idea would be for the Pats players to "go after" Vanderjagt, as roughing the kicker is bad for field position.

School 3 says Vanderjagt already has a big mouth, and he's wearing out his welcome in the Indy locker room by saying stuff like this.

Possibly true, but it's more likely that his salary cap figure is wearing out it's welcome in the Colts' front office. If he is gone in the off season, it will be because of his contract, not his chatter. And like Terrell Owens and Randy Moss, Vanderjagt usually backs up his smack talk. Players who do that tend to be given more leeway by the team. As a side note, the Titans may be looking for a kicker this year, with Anderson retiring and Nedney's health being unreliable. You think Vanderjagt wouldn't love to face Indy twice a year if they cut him?

Finally as an answer to all three schools, is this simple fact: Vanderjagt didn't say anything that's not true. The Pats are known for killer defense, and a quarterback who takes good care of the ball on offense, and makes big plays when he needs to. Right now, the Pats are hurting on defense and Brady has been making some questionable decisions lately, which have turned into big plays for the opponents. As far as it can be said about a Bill Belichick team, the Pats are ripe for the plucking, and the Colts are a team that is perfectly suited to take advantage of that.

So, school's out. All the stink and hullabaloo about these two "incidents" have detracted from the real issues: Playoff Football. So, it's Saturday morning, let's go see how it all turns out.

Since most of the technology I own has been on the fritz lately (computer crash, car died, clock wrong, TV sound-system miss-wired, etc.), I figured this week would be a good time to talk about the technology of the NFL. Since I'm ready to replace everything I own (well, 'ready' except for the whole 'having the money to pay for it' part), I might as well aspire to have the best, right? And the NFL has a lot of the best stuff out there.

Let's start with the TV. When you're watching NFL games at home, the size of the TV matters only a little. Sure, I know we all like to have that big screen, but anything game-affecting that we miss will be blown up and replayed ad nauseam for us. Complete with annoying commentary about the obvious that is either a) wrong, b) wordy yet uninformed, or c) both.

When you're part of a football team, breaking down game film, things are different. You need to be able to see all the little details, from as many angles as possible, and as clearly as possible. If you're a DB or a secondary coach, you want to be able to see how a wide receiver always twitches his hands before a play where he expects to be blocking for a run. You want to be able to see that at the same time as the linebackers coach beside you is watching the fullback's eyes to see if he 'cheats' on pass protection. To do all that, for hours on end, without going blind, you need a big TV. You need a big TV with a crisp, clear picture. Which is why the Raven's practice facility comes equipped with a 42-inch plasma TV in every single office. Admittedly, this is a new, 31 million-dollar facility, and not every team is quite so well equipped, but they're working on it.

So, what gets seen on those screens? Game film. Lots and lots of game film. Thousands of hours of game film. Except, it's not exactly film any more. Some of the (well-heeled) fanatics among us have NFL Sunday Ticket and TiVo. Those that do feel proud. Some of them actually take advantage of the equipment, and digitally record every game, so they can at least catch the highlights. Fewer (and the still more fanatic) of them actually watch every game. The most die-hard of them re-watch games, paying attention to little details. Any member of any NFL coaching staff would consider them base amateurs (or sports columnists).

Most NFL teams now use something called 'Coach's Station,' produced by a company called Pinnacle. Coach's Station is the TiVo fanatic's dream. It lets a coaching staff to access, edit, and link over 1,000 hours of game film – then email it to everyone on the team in one click. Waiting for the video (or *gasp* film) to get spliced together in the film room is a thing of the past. Video from every game in the past two years is 'instantly' uploaded to laptops, so coaches can work in their office, on the plane, or in the hotel on the road. Now, if the program could only do the game planning for them, assistant coaches would actually get some sleep during the season. To find out more about this lovely product, visit Pinnacle's website.

Normally, I don't think of exercise as being a high-tech activity. Memories of sweat-smelling rubber mats and rusted iron weights from my high-school power-lifting class come to mind, accompanied by flashbacks of pushups in the muck of a Korean monsoon for Army PT. High-school football 'conditioning workouts' involved crab-walking 60 yards, followed by wind sprints 'till we dropped.

Such is not the case in today's NFL. Well, perhaps the wind sprints, but they are only the beginning. One of the most valuable and possibly most hated members of the modern NFL coaching staff is the Strength and Conditioning Coach. For the Titans, that man is Jim Watterson. Coach Watterson is responsible for designing the off-season conditioning program for the players, as well as in-season workouts. He devises ways to bring the best out of every player's body – usually by pushing them to their limits in ways they didn't know possible.

I've had a personal trainer before - well, the gym I belong to has one, and I've gotten advice from him before, so I'm counting that. But that doesn't hold a candle to what a strength and conditioning coach does for players. In an article on the Titans website, Watterson is quoted as saying "The evolution has brought this profession into true science," Watterson said. "We are really finding out about the physiological response of the body, not just how do we lift more weight."

In other words, this guy, who has patents pending on several rehab and strength-building devices he's invented, uses science to figure out just exactly where a player's body is likely to break down, and why. Then he comes up with a plan to strengthen those areas. He helps players gain weight, lose weight, add muscle mass, gain quickness - in short, he builds a better athlete. It doesn't hurt that he's got a new, multi-million-dollar training facility to do it in, either.

Well, I'd love to write more about all the neat gizmos and gadgets the NFL makes available to its teams, but it's time for me to push-start my Tercel, so I can drive home and watch the Monday Night Football game again on my 20" TV. Of course, that assumes I managed to program the VCR correctly.

What is it about the middle of the season? Why is it that this time of year, every year, I feel like I could do a better job than half the coaches in the NFL are? Is it because, like the rest of the media and fan base out there, I have the advantage of 20/20 hindsight, and thus second-guess the daylights out of every move losing head coaches have made? Is it because, like the rest of the stat-crunchers out there, I can see trends that "should have been obvious" to anyone with eyes, thousands of pages of numbers, and an advanced degree in calculus (or access to people like that)? Maybe it's the Fantasy Football leagues I'm in, where I can usually pull a ringer off the waiver wire on game day and squeak out a win over some guy with 8 powerhouse studs that all fall flat (though, admittedly, that's not working too well for me this year). Or perhaps the cause of my hubris is the combined wisdom of the "NFL Insiders" that I read, listen to, watch, and otherwise soak up for hours each day. The act of which gives me insight into… well, not much, really, outside of just how little these "insiders" really know about anything that matters.

Nope.

All those answers are wrong.

Why do I feel like I could do better? Two words: John Madden.

More specifically, John Madden's NFL franchise of video games. Be it Playstation, X-Box, Nintendo, or even on the PC, I master this game. Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming to be unbeatable, or even necessarily a great challenge to human opponents every time I play. No, my genius lies in the "Franchise Mode" of play. I rarely have a losing season in this game. In fact, I rarely fail to make the playoffs – even in "rebuilding years".

Anyone can be good at a single game, or even a tournament. It's a different skill set that allows one to dominate a 5-minute-per-quarter, no defense, no punting score-fest. An impressive skill-set, no doubt (and potentially rather lucrative, so I've heard), but not one that translates to real-world football coaching. No matter how fast you hit the X button on the sidelines, Ray Lewis isn't going to fly over the offensive line and flatten the opposing QB just as the ball is snapped. Then again, perhaps Ray Lewis is a bad example. Right, put Brad Kassell in there (former 3rd-string, current starting MLB for Tennessee). You get the point.

Being a good coach isn't just motivating the players and picking the right plays on each possession. In Franchise mode, it includes adjusting personnel groupings and substitutions each week; disguising formations, learning your own tendencies before the computer does and changing them; using your star players in unique ways, and overcoming injuries to those star players when you don't manage to avoid them – not just for a single game, but for weeks and even months of game time on end.

I've played the Tennessee Titans for "10 years" of game time in Madden 2000, at times without McNair, George, Wycheck, or Kearse. That team has yet to lose more than three games in a season.

So, how does this make me a better NFL coach than, say, Dave Wannstedt, or *cough* Steve Spurrier? Honestly, it probably doesn't. But there are a few things that they could learn. Things like, how to recognize when a certain style of attack isn't working, put pride aside, and use something your team isn't necessarily known for doing well – precisely because they're not known for doing it well. If no one in the building is expecting you to throw the ball deep on 2rd and 2 because your best receiver is out and half your payroll is going to your running back, and the opponent has 8 (or even 9) men in the box, you THROW THE FREAKING DEEP BALL. Even a 5th receiver should be good enough to can catch a ball once in a while if he's wide open, or one-on-one with a safety.

If you've got a reputation for being a pass-wacky coach, darnit, you should have some run plays from spread formations in the playbook. Heck, you should be willing to come out and run 30-35 times against a team that's expecting passes, if that's what it takes to win. So what if you're only getting 3 yards a carry? 3 yards x 4 downs = 12, right? That's another set of downs.

Quite honestly, I'm full of crap this week. I'm a darn good electronic coach. I have a decent mind for the game – good enough to realize I'm learning new stuff every week I watch the pros at work on my TV. I know there are thousands of things that factor into a coach's job that I don't even know about.

But still, one would think that a person who is good enough to coach in the NFL should be able to make a few adjustments from week to week. Gunther Cunningham's Chiefs defense should be able to account for a freaking play-fake bootleg after the first game, right? So far that same play has smoked them two weeks in a row – multiple times each week.

How is it a person making six or seven figures to do NOTHING BUT STUDY FOOTBALL can fail to recognize that, with Randy Moss not in the lineup, you must change the game-plan to account for an extra safety who's not covering Moss? And then wonder why your QB and running games aren't having the same effectiveness as they were earlier? You would think Mike Tice, knowing Moss was going to be out, would have planned his game to do other things.

Everyone gives Bill Bellichek so much credit for being a genius in New England, but really, he's just using video-game common sense: adapt as necessary to win the game. Everyone seemed so surprised to see Troy Brown step in and play well as a DB on Sunday. Not me. Madden 2004 rates the guy a 90 at RCB, after all.

Salary cap. Some love it, some hate it. Some people blame it for the destruction of their favorite teams, some herald it as the primary cause of the parity that makes each year so exciting.

Love it or hate it, like it or lump it, do you really know anything about it? For instance, did you know it's scheduled to go away in 2007? Can you imagine an NFL without a salary cap? Just for a year? Let me tell you how bad an idea that is. It's so bad, the Executive Director of the NFL Player's Association (NFLPA), Gene Upshaw, went to the NFL execs, and told them the NFLPA wants the CBA extended specifically to avoid a cap-free year. Why? Because, as he says, "[I]f we actually get to that uncapped year, it's over. We'll never get the cap back once it goes away."

Let's take a moment to think about that, shall we? The guy in charge of making sure the players make as much money as possible doesn't want the salary cap to go away. Are Trevor Linden and Bob Goodenow (of the NHLPA) paying attention? Admittedly, Upshaw made his comments in the process of trying to wrangle more revenue sharing amongst the teams, which would of course, raise the cap amount, which would then give the players more money. Still, while the NHLPA is swearing up and down that a cap is the most evil thing for any sports player anywhere, and they'll never accept one in hockey, arguably the most visible player's union in North America is worried about losing theirs.

So, what is so important about the cap? How does it work? Let's take a brief look.

First, here is how the cap is calculated:

Projected Gross Revenues for the League x CBA Percentage = Players Share of the DGR

Players Share - Projected Benefits across the League = Available Funds for Player Salaries

Amount Funds for Player Salaries / Teams = Unadjusted Salary Cap per Team

The CBA Percentages per year, as agreed upon in the 2001 extension to the CBA are:

So, what does that mean? Basically, that the players get to share just under 2/3rds of the gross income of the NFL. The more money the NFL makes each year, the more the players get paid. As a side note, there is also a minimum percentage to be spent on payroll, which means there is a minimum amount of money the players can make each year.

So why is this thing so important? What does all this math do for the game? The gist of it is this: the NFLPA is smart enough to realize that helping the NFL increase its revenues is far better for them than scrapping over what percentage of the money they get. The NFL (and Paul Tagliabue in particular) is smart enough to make sure the players keep focused on making money for everyone, rather than looking to take cash out of the owner's pockets. The salary cap makes sure both sides keep focused on what matters.

It's win-win for everyone, right?

Many fans don't think so, especially around June 1st each year, when teams usually purge their rosters, and favorite players are let go in an effort to "get under the cap.” Some people also argue that the cap is only a technicality, easily worked around by judicious use of signing bonuses and back-loaded contracts, which aren't guaranteed.

It's debatable. What isn't is the idea of both players and owners working on ways to make the NFL product more profitable and enjoyable for the fans, rather than squabbling over who gets what percentage of a limited pie, has led to a strong, profitable league, with what looks to be a death-grip on the title of America's favorite game.

I'm pretty sure both sides are smart enough to get things done before 2007's cap-free year shows up, and football will continue to be a successful part of American culture. I know I'll be watching the games that year.

If they don't smarten up, so will Linden and Goodenow.

No I in Team? Maybe, but some guys can spell ME.

It''s a me-first world. Look out for yourself, cover your butt, and watch your back. It's all about taking care of me and mine, right? Right.

But is that how it should be on the football field? I think not. Baseball, now that's an individual's game. Pitcher vs. hitter, the duel of giants with each pitch. A guy like Curt Schilling can single-handedly win games for you. People say basketball's a team sport, but we've seen too many baby brawls between Shaq and Kobe. We know better. We've seen too many highlights of Lebron James tearing up the court while nine other guys stand around looking like pylons. We've seen too much attitude. We've seen MJ get the credit for the success of the Bulls, and Scottie walk off the court because someone else got the ball.

But football, it's not like that in football. Football's all about the team, right? Right.

Let's ask some NFL players, shall we? Let's see, as a completely random sample; let's just pull some arbitrarily chosen names out of a hat:

Ricky Williams, Keenan McCardell, Adewale Ogunleye, Chidi Ahanotu, and Jerry Rice. Good examples, right?

Ricky Williams: The guy who, after standing up and lecturing the team on how everyone had to give a little more, dig a little deeper, and be a leader in their own right during the off season, decided to retire the day before training camp so he could go smoke up.

Now that he's been hit with an 8 million-dollar fee for doing so, he wants back in. And oh, yeah, the NFL should waive the rules about drug suspensions for him because well does anyone really know why?

Keenan McCardell: He's been sitting on his butt for the last couple of months while his team stinks up the joint without a go-to receiver because he was stupid enough to have a pro-bowl year in 2003 without being in a contract year as well, and he's not enough of a team guy to play for less than he thinks he's worth.

He's finally been traded.

Adewale Ogunleye: Pulled the same stunt in Miami. Fortunately, the fish managed to trade him before things got too bad. Then again, they were still reeling from the Ricky thing, so who knows what they were thinking.

Chidi Ahanotu: Yet another Dolphins standout. He decided he wasn't happy with the lack of playing time (I guess getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to work out and occasionally play a few snaps wasn't good enough for him), and walked away from the team. He demanded a trade, or more playing time.

Since he was the fourth-string DE, the 'Fins did the smart thing and released him.

Jerry Rice: The best receiver to ever play the game told the coaches in Oakland that he's do whatever it took to help the team win in his last year as a player. The coaches said "thanks," and benched him. Jerry now says he's planning on at least another year after this one, especially since his untouchable record streak of consecutive games with a catch was finally broken. Since it was obvious that the best thing Jerry could do to help the Raiders win was get out of the way, he asked for a trade.

He's now in Seattle, where he can teach the receivers how to catch footballs, and segue nicely into a coaching career, should he desire to do so. Aside from his tantrum on the sideline in the game that broke his streak, Jerry handled things pretty well.

The recent history of the NFL has been laden with "Me First" stories. T.O. in San Fran, Randy Moss in Minnesota, and many others. It's disappointing. I know basketball is a sport full of individuals, but Football is supposed to be a team sport, isn't it? I know the age of the salary cap has made it harder for teams to remain loyal to players, and thus harder for players to remain loyal to the team. I know the shelf life of a pro athlete is short, and they've got to get what can to take care of themselves in the world after the career ends (a world they're often not prepared for). I know all these things, but I also know these guys are supposed to be heroes and role models.

I'll avoid the great soap-box speech about how many kids in society today don't think beyond their own (often short-term) wants and desires, and how the behavior they see in successful people influences their decisions. I'll avoid the discussion about whether Charles Barkley was right or wrong in saying he's not a role model. Instead, I'll say this: When my son grows up, I hope he's more like Curt Schilling, than any of the football players I've mentioned here.

And I really don't like baseball that much.

No one was better than Vick.

Really. Last week, no one was better than Mike Vick was. How's that you say? What am I smoking? Some of you are no doubt wondering if I'm talking about the same Mike Vick, quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, who went 10/20, for 115 yards, no TD's and an INT? The Mike Vick who was sacked 5 times and fumbled twice? The Mike Vick whose QB rating was 46.9? THAT Mike Vick?

In a word, yes. Let me clarify. I'm talking Fantasy Football here. You see, in my league last week, Mike Vick scored negative one point. Yes. -1 pt. If I had left the starting QB position empty, I would have got no points, but I wouldn't have lost any either, which means literally, I would have done better to play no one in the QB slot than to start Vick.

So, this week's column is about that glorious and heart-wrenching experience that is Fantasy Football.

By Thursday night/Friday morning, it's a little late to be talking about whom you should play and whom you should bench. Aside from injury reports, you should have all the info you need for that by now. No, this week I'm asking a different question: Does the proliferation of Fantasy Football erode fan loyalty for teams?

I'm a die-hard Titans fan. One of my best friends lives and dies with Philly, and another with the Pats. I cannot cheer for any team that is playing against my boys. Yet I have Reggie Wayne on my fantasy team. Wayne plays for the Colts which has become recently Tennessee's biggest hurdle in the division and the conference. If he has a lot of big games, it follows that the Colts are probably having good games, which makes life tougher on my Titans.

Some folks say the age of the salary cap has already eroded team loyalty, because stars move from place to place too quickly, taking fan's affections with them. Some say that cap has helped team loyalty because fans consider the players too greedy and don't miss them. We'll call that a wash. I miss seeing Jevon Kearse in a Titans uniform, but I don't think of him too often. Neither Eddie George.

NFL.com just realized that Fantasy Football is a nine-figure moneymaker each year. The NFL has thrown its weight behind a massive marketing campaign to increase the number of people playing in fantasy leagues. The NFL as an organization governed primarily by the team owners wouldn't encourage something that's bad for the teams that make up the organization, would it?

Then again, which is better for the NFL? Is it people in 32 markets being die-hard loyal to their team, or is it people in every market tuning in to as many games as they can to check up on their fantasy studs? Do we really need to ask that question?

When it comes right down to it though, does a true-blue, loyal fan change their allegiance, just because they want to do well in a fantasy game? I think not. I think that what we wind up with is fans who are more educated about the game, know more about those who play it, and have a greater appreciation for the different systems and relationships that make the game work. We have a larger audience for small-market teams with star-caliber players who would have otherwise gone unnoticed (*cough* Steve McNair *cough*). We wind up with people watching games that might otherwise seem meaningless except for those playing in it (if even then). And we have something to keep us occupied Tuesday through Saturday.

Do some people feel conflicted each week, as their fantasy stars line up against their hometown heroes? I certainly hope so, I do. But then again, what's a football game without a little drama?

Next week: There's no I in "team," but there are an M and an E.

Week one of the NFL season always has a few surprises, and this year was no exception. I'm betting none of you put money on the Browns clobbering the Ravens, for example. There have been plenty of articles and TV commentary about all the surprises this week, so I might as well write another one. Being me, however, I'm not going to cover the Browns, nor the way Ahman Green tore apart the Carolina Defense (ranked 4th in the NFC against the run last year). Instead, I thought I'd cover the biggest surprise of week 1 - namely, all the unsurprising things everyone else seems so surprised about. For those of you in the media, I'll break them down into a top-5 list - ranked arbitrarily by me. Here we go:

1) Drew Brees starts and plays well against the Texans. When Marty Schottenheimer named Brees as the starter over Philip Rivers, the jaw flapping and hand wringing began in San Diego and around the NFL media establishment. I don't understand why. Who would be surprised that a 4th year pro, in his second year under offensive coordinator Cam Cameron, would play better than a rookie who held out for most of training camp and half the pre-season? Especially when everyone and their dog knows that stopping LaDainian Tomlinson is (rightly) the focus of any defense that plays the Bolts? It doesn't hurt that both Brees and the Chargers know he's auditioning for a job next year - and the better he does, the more compensation the Chargers are likely to get for him (not that they'll use the picks wisely, mind you, but still...). Anyone who thinks Brees is going to get a quick hook this year is in for an even bigger surprise next week.

2) Terrell Owens catches almost as many TD's in one game as the entire Eagles receiver corps did all last season. Come on, annoying as the guy is, he's still got the talent, and he was playing against the Giants' secondary (these guys gave my grandma a tryout last week, but the NFL has rules about wheel chairs on the field). Besides, it's not like they're setting the bar all that high - Philadelphia receivers caught all of 5 TD's last year combined. Be surprised if T.O. doesn't double -or even triple - that number before the year is out.

3) The Chief's D didn't do well against the Broncos. They've got the same guys playing this year as they did last year, going against one of the best rushing offenses in the league (see below). Gunther Cunningham is a great coach, but all the coaching in the world can't make old slow players younger or faster. It's too early to say the Chief's D stinks, but the odor emanating out of KC isn't a pleasant one. Of course, it's easier to smell in the clean, crisp air of Denver, where the Broncs are 17-7 since 2001.

4) Quentin Griffin ran for 156 yards and 2TDs against the Chiefs. Since 1995, the Broncos' running game has racked up the second highest ground total in the league (20,150 yds). That coincides with the arrival of one man in Denver: running backs coach Bobby Turner. His one-cut system has produced a 1,000 yard rusher every year except '01, when he didn't have a single back play more than half the season (Davis and Anderson combined for 1379 yards in only 15 games). The only surprise about the Broncos' running system is that more teams in the NFL don't use it.

5) Keyshawn Johnson hauls in 9 passes. The 'Boys were up against the top passing attack in the league, with a soft secondary. You knew it was going to be a high-scoring game for at least one team - and that the Cowboys would have to pass a lot once they got behind. Everyone who watched a single pre-season game (specifically the game against Tennessee) knows Keyshawn has made himself comfortable as Vinny Testaverde's favorite target once more. No one could guess that a Parcells team would throw 50 passes in a game, but still, if Vinny's gonna throw a lot, Key is gonna catch a bunch of those throws. I'm just surprised there were no INT's, and only one sack out of all that air-time.

Bonus Round: Mike Vanderjagt honks the game-tying figgy in NE. The guy's made every kick he lined up for since 2002. Streaks like that rack up incredible amounts of Bad Football Karma - especially when the streaker is as stupidly big-mouthed as Vanderjagt). It was inevitable the guy would miss a big one this season. Fans of the Colts should just be glad he did it early, and not in a playoff game.

There were surprises all right this week, but they were things like people anointing Joe Gibbs as the Real Deal in Washington because his 'Skins managed to squeak one out against a shaky Tampa Bay team that has no decent receivers, or the Bills (up 10-6 with less than 2:30 left in the game) punting on 4th and 10 from the Jacksonville 33. I guess the lesson here is: never be surprised by what the "experts" don't see coming.