Odds and Ends: Your Local and International Footie Roundup
by wise
I love Messi as much as any futbol fan, but i relenquish the True Fan title for the moment to this intrepid young lady:
ouch! On the local front, the True Fan crew had a great night last Saturday at SLABTOWN watching our mighty mighty Timbers crush the California (Give Us A) Victory inside of 20 minutes. There wasn't much to report from the second half, but it didn't matter as spirits were high and chanting was full voiced. Thanks to the implosion of the Virgina Beach Mariners, the Timbers' schedule has been overloaded with fixtures against the (Can't Get A) Victory, and this Friday, not only do they get another crack at them, but on Fox Soccer Channel no less. Kickoff is moved inexplicably to 8pm, as it usually is when FSC comes to town, and as a bonus, the first 2,000 fans will be presented with a bobblehead of the legendary Timber Jim. Man, do I want me one of those. Then, Sunday at 6pm, the show starts all over again, and the (Please, Please, Just One) Victory are brought to the felt-on-asphalt slaughterhouse.
My beloved UrbanHonking AC has been on a slump of late, to my dismay. Granted, our last two losses have come to the undefeated title contenders Brooklyn Park Pub and Fut-ccers (and all of us were fairly happy about our performance against the latter despite the loss), but now we find ourselves in lowly eighth place and a difficult four games left to rectify things. This week will be no picnic as we face down arch-rivals Marraige Records/CEID/Oak Street/Eastside Esplanade Lightnings tomorrow (Thursday) at 9:15pm. You can't dismiss any team in Portland Futsal's 3rd Division (case in point, the helium-like rise of Lonely Shepards FC), and the Lightnings bring a tough game and fierce supporters when playing the UrHo boys.
Finally, we've been keeping an eye on Laurie Sanchez' work on transforming Fulham from Team America to Team Northern Ireland (with Chris Coleman picking up the reigns at Real Sociedad, speculation is afoot that Sociedad will pick up the Team USA title from Fulham). Looks as if Clint and Carlos will have plenty of competition for spots. With McBride having won a firm place in the Fulham faithfuls' hearts, I won't be too disappointed if he finds himself playing out the final year of his contract and returns to MLS for a hero's welcome.
But for Dempsey, this year has to be the one where he takes it to a new level. He's won himself some time by scoring that momentous goal against Liverpool, but there's only a small window to prove he deserves a place on team full of new faces, and on a team that looks to be building around a completely different style than his own. Carlos should do well, always dangerous on set pieces, but now that Aaron Hughes has made the move from Villa and more defenders likely to follow, Boca could find himself on the outside looking in very quickly.
Posted on July 11, 2007 | Comments (1)
Hot Dogs
by Liz
At the weigh-in, I found myself next to Gersh Kuntzman's young daughter, Jane, who was right up next to the stage, ball cap on and pen and paper poised in imitation of her reporter father. I couldn't help sneaking a peek at her notes to see what she had deemed worthy of taking down for posterity. It was only two words, written in bubble letters: "hot dogs." There was a tiny heart over "dogs."
And though this was the beginning of the busiest and most exciting two days of my trip to New York, by the end of it all I would feel like I had been hit by some fantastic storm that left me reeling a bit, and left my notes in an eerily similar state as Jane's. I learn more at each competition I attend--more about the eaters, more about the sport, more about the politics--and find there are less things I'm taking notes on. I'm not sure if that means my reporting skills are slipping, but in some cases I know its because I'm getting more interesting information. Though maybe in the end, "hot dogs" is all you really need to know.
But what am I talking about? I'm making it sound like this wasn't the most exciting upset to hit the competitive eating world in a long time. So let there be no mistake: this shit was edge-of-your-seat from the beginning. There was a lot of hype before the competition surrounding Kobayashi's jaw and whether he'd be in competition condition by the 4th. I heard everything from TMJ to "jawthritis," but the final and most plausible explanation I heard was that he had been having jaw pain and they removed a wisdom tooth to try and relieve the pain. This happened approximately eight days before Kobayashi was scheduled to compete in his biggest competition of the year and defend his title against the man who recently smashed his hot dog world record.
Everyone at the weigh-in, held on July 3rd at City Hall as a way for press to get a sneak peak at the competitors, was anxiously holding their breath to see in what condition the champion would show up. His usually upbeat demeanor was noticeable dampened as he climbed the stage to be weighed in at 154 pounds. He goofed around with the Frankster, who was in high form the entire day, but the lighthearted enthusiasm that was behind his eyes at last year's weigh-in was definitely not there. When they brought him and Joey Chestnut face-to-face for the traditional stare down and single hot dog eating for the cameras, Joey downed the dog easily, while Kobayashi visibly struggled, mushing the bun into his cupped hand rather than in his mouth. After the cameras had their shots, Koby removed an intact, uneaten dog from his mouth and rubbed his jaw.
During the question and answer session, when asked if his jaw was up for the challenge, he was only able to say that it would be a game day decision. They asked him to demonstrate how wide he could comfortably open his mouth at this point and the reporters swarmed in to get this pic:
But even if Kobayashi was a bit down, the mood was still heightened for the rest of the competitors, who had all worked hard to make it there and were eager for the next day. Erik "The Red" Denmark confided that this was the worst day, really. Stuck in a city with some of the best food in the country with some of the best eaters in the country, and trying not to ruin your stomach for game day.
There was also more sad news from the international front. The Indian giant who was slated to appear on stage, was not able to make it after all. After a nasty fall, a test showed he had a blood clot and he was unable to travel. When I expressed skepticism about the Indian giant's existence, Dale Boone whipped out his camera and showed me a picture of himself next to a very tall man. I can only attest to the fact that Dale Boone does in fact know someone who appears to be an Indian giant, but I hope he is an eating champion, and I hope he recovers successfully.
* * *
On the morning of the 4th, weather was the topic on everyone's minds. Before leaving the house, a local newscast pretty much went back and forth between the two big stories of the day: whether or not the storm prediction and cloud coverage would prevent the fireworks display and whether or not Kobayashi's jaw would prevent him from winning. Reports were coming in that the champ was planning on competing after undergoing a series of acupuncture treatments, and everyone revved themselves up for a real competition.
The gray skies weren't keeping away the crowds, and Coney Island swarmed with people hoping to get a good spot to see the hot dog competitors tear into their HDBs. Near the front, by the stage, family, friends, and other VIPs milled around, catching up with one another. "Beautiful" Brian Seiken was there, in spite of threats that he wouldn't attend this year if he didn't get a good spot to view the competition, along with Cookie Jarvis in his coat (more flowing than ever), and Don Lerman, dressed to the nines in his bright yellow Nathan's outfit. The area set aside for these lucky folks (and one non-bunnette-status blogger) is a strange one. Set off to the left of the stage, it allows people close to the action, but at such an angle that a clear view of the main action is almost impossible.
We all had excellent seats for the hot acts prior to the competition. There were many things included in last year's line-up that never made it to the stage due to time constrains, but this year, it was all about stalling. When the big clock was about to start the one hour countdown, the crowd noticed and began chanting down the numbers. Unfortunately, there was a groan where the cheer should have been--instead of heading into the final hour, the clock suddenly had 20 minutes added to it. Which is great if we're talking about getting to finally witness the presentation of Joe Mullen's teeth or Clogtastica!, two events in particular that Krista and I had been sad to not see last year. But let's just say there was a moment where George Shea danced with the three Bunnettes to "My Humps" that might have reeked a little bit of sheer desperation to fill time.
But before that had to happen, there was the presentation of Rookie of the Year. Three strong contenders were up for the distinction: Arturo "The Natural" Rios, who we met at last year's Thai qualifier, "Beautiful" Juliet Lee, the amateur pizza champ, and Tim "Gravy" Brown, who had had strong showings all year (and who, in a gray suit, looked either ready to take a meeting or slip into a Beastie Boys video). Though I have to admit my money would have been on Juliet, the first female to break through on the competitive eating scene in a long time, the award was presented to Arturo, who looked beyond thrilled.
Okay, let's back up and talk about the Bunnettes. As you probably know, I tried out to to be a Bunnette, and was denied in light of Nathan's decision to use professional models. First of all, everyone I ran into in New York had only the nicest things to say about my entry video. Seriously, I was blushing the entire time. My personal highlight of the day was Eric "Badlands" Booker getting on stage to sing his new hit, "She's My Bunnette" and dedicating it to me and Dani, who was Koby's Bunnette last year and who submitted a great video to the competition (four words: "underground lesbian pinata parties."). Take that, hot leggy models! Oh yeah: there were some hot leggy models. Yawn. No, actually I'm lying when I say "yawn" because what I really said was, "Holy shit, that Bunnette was on America's Next Top Model!" It's true!
Bunnette #1 = Sara Racey Tabrizi from cycle 2.
Besides that being exceptionally hilarious for me, the Bunnettes on average were...average. They did what they needed to do (though I noticed our ANTM friend flipping the numbers the wrong way a couple times before catching herself--don't worry; they're not actually counting, just reflecting the referees' counts). My main issue was that there were only three, one for Joey, one for Kobayashi, and one for Pat Bertoletti. I don't think that traditionally there's been a Bunnette for every eater at the table, but three seemed like an exceptionally sparse showing. Why wouldn't the crowd be interested in knowing how the other eaters are doing? In a situation like this, the organization dictates the public's interest; if there are no Bunnettes, and no announcement of totals, then the people can't care how the other eaters are doing because they have no means to. Especially when there were willing dog counters in the audience :-)
The word on the street is that the Bunnette videos will be kept around for a future competition in the fall. Hmmm, Krystal burgers have buns...
Lucky for me, I was in the section where there were a lot of people who cared. Joey's family wore shirts with a lurking shark image on the front; Tim Janus's family came in face paint and matching shirts; Erik Denmark's family outfitted themselves with red headbands that matched his; Carlene LeFevre pressed herself up against the stage when her husband got to the table, yelling out "Rich! Rich! I'm over here!" until he turned and acknowledged her with a smile and wave. There were two entrances for all the eaters. The big splashy one with intro songs and rattled off stats for the crowd, and a more mellow one for the ESPN cameras.
The entrances are always a fun way for the crowd to get to know the eaters' personalities a little. Juliet came out and demonstrated her extreme flexibility with a little stretching, Dale Boone came out in his famous fur hat, waving an American flag, Pat Philbin did his usual goofy mugging, there was some serious muscle flexing between Erik Denmark, Hall Hunt, and Kobayashi, while Chip Simpson opted for some more dancey moves. There were also subtle dedications: Pat Bertoletti wore a headband bearing the name of his grandfather who passed away, and Erik Denmark wore the number 11 on his wristbands, in memory of his mother's birthday. The eater who managed to make his entrance the most controversial was Tim "Eater X" Janus, who came out with a sign that said, "And on the 7th day god created HARTFORD!" which got cheers. Then he flipped the sign over:
This got boos (though also a lot of laughter). The most common reaction I heard to the sign was a worried, "Does she really?" (Yes, America. J.K. Rowling, a secret competitive eating fanatic, decided that the sole copy of her unpublished manuscript should go directly to Tim. Boy did be blow that one!)
As the last eater joined the stage, George Shea officially began the competition. Pat Bertoletti was off like lightening and even led Joey and Koby briefly. The two caught up and headed neck and neck into the final moments. The Bunnettes flipped furiously, but when the final second hit, it wasn't clear who had won. Both cards showed a glowing 63, indicating both eaters had shattered the new record, but who had actually eaten more? Adding to the controversy was something I couldn't see from my spot: a slight reversal on Kobayashi's part. Though that can be grounds for disqualification, the eater contained the explosion and...uh..un-regurgitated it. There aren't hard and steady rules for something like this, mostly because there aren't very many instances where this happens. Usually if an eater suffers a reversal of fortune, they do so absolutely. Ultimately the judges decided that since the expulsion did not hit the table and since it was reabsorbed, Kobayashi would not be disqualified.
What I could see was Joey arguing definitively with his judges. He had an intense look on his face, and he would later tell me that he was keeping count of the number of plates he had eaten, so knew he had at least consumed 65 HDBs, which is what he was relaying emphatically.
This went on for a minute and then the arguing stopped. Joey closed his eyes and broke out into the the most heartbreaking smile. In that split second, I knew he had it. George Shea regained his composure and announced the new winner, with 66 HDBs and a new world record, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut! Confetti rained down against the cloudy sky and the Mustard Yellow Belt and trophy were brought out for presentation.
Kobayashi was gracious as always. Through his translator he said the new record was amazing and agreed that Joey is a true champion. When asked if he would be returning next year, he said, "Of course." And would he beat Joey? Kobayashi smiled for the crowd. "I will definitely beat him next year."
Posted on July 9, 2007 | Comments (9)
Joey Chestnut Brings Home the Mustard Belt
by Liz
It's a day some thought would never come: yesterday the great Takeru Kobayashi fell to the superior eating skills of another, America's own Joey Chestnut. With the crowd chanting his name during a nail-biting pause for judging, it was finally announced that Joey had not only crushed the world record, but had beaten Kobayashi by three HDBs. Under the cloudy sky, the mood was nothing short of electric as everyone burst into elated cheers at the news of the soon-to-be-famous 66 HDBs. Kobayashi, always a good sport, said he was in awe of the number and can't wait for his next opportunity to try and beat it.
Full scores:
Joey Chestnut: 66
Takeru Kobayashi: 63
Pat Bertoletti: 49
Tim "Eater X" Janus: 43.5
Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas: 39
Bob Shoudt: 35
Chip Simpson: 35
Rich LeFevre: 31
Hall Hunt: 29
Juliet Lee: 26
Dale Boone: 25
Pat Philbin: 24
Crazy Legs Conti: 23.5
Erik "the Red" Denmark: 23
Tim Brown: 22.5
Arturo Rios, Jr.: 21
Allen Goldstein: 21
I forgot my camera cord and can't seem to figure out how to download my pics and videos without it, so a full write up with visuals will have to wait until next week. I promise to make it worth the wait!
Posted on July 5, 2007 | Comments (1)
