World Rib Eating Competition

My relationship to food is entirely based on the concept of volume. Growing up with two brothers meant that the concept of "seconds" was a territorial battle of the serving dish fought night after night. Each of our strategies was different. Gene would alternate between his brain and his brawn. Being a year older he could both physically intimidate us and gain the right to seconds, or he would talk his way into winning by somehow convincing our parents he was the rightful heir. Curt's concept of the game seemed to lack behind somewhat, he being the youngest. But I suspect his meek attitude was nothing but a ploy for sympathy, which meant my own attempts at seconds would be thwarted with the worst words to be spoken by my parents at the dinner table, "Save some for your brother." My method was what I called "first rights," based loosely on the concept of the Oklahoma Land Run of 1889. By finishing my meal first I was able to jump in for seconds before anyone else had come close to finishing. Any suspicions I was getting more than my fair share were allayed upon seeing my empty plate. The unforeseen consequence of this method was something of an arms race with my brothers. We were inadvertently training for speed in order to win more volume.

Now I am 29 years old, and I no longer live with my brothers, nor do i ever need to eat any faster than anyone else. I rarely eat seconds anyway. The concepts of speed and volume in my eating are not just a leftover of my childhood, but actually a detriment to my enjoyment of food. I am still the first one done at any table I am eating at. The pattern of eating my meals quickly is so ingrained into me that it feels like some sort of primal survival urge. Eating to me is an activity best done quickly.

Which I feel explains my interest in competitive eating. The IFOCE not only validates my compulsion to eat fast, they show me that my eating is nothing in the grand scheme of people who live to eat. I am humbled.

The Rib Eating Competition was my first real-life experience at a live IFOCE event. I knew it was one of the smaller events, and I braced myself for a bit of a disappointment. I've read Horsemen of the Esophagus: Competitive Eating and the Big Fat American Dream and Eat This Book: A Year of Gorging and Glory on the Competitive Eating Circuit, watched Nathan's on ESPN, and seen the Tour De Gorge on HDNET. I knew my favorite gurgitator, Eater X, wasn't going to be there... and then I learned that neither of the Shea brothers would be there.

But now, after the event, I feel more enthusiastic than ever. Michael Castellano was fantastic, he rallied the crowd and kept interest high even during the long pauses. I got my picture taken with Joey Chestnut! And perhaps the greatest moment of the weekend was when I mentioned that we were friends of Liz and he mentioned excitedly, "You're from UrbanHonking?"

The first day was the amateur competition, where the locals battled it out to sit at the big boy table the next day. Only four would be moving forward from the six minute competition to the twelve minute real deal. The great part about catching the amateur event was that we got to see the format of how the Big Show would play out tomorrow.

In person, the excitement of an eating competition is opposite from what you'd expect. This is no doubt why the IFOCE employs people like Michael Castellano to be the MC at these events. The introductions were amazing, doubly so considering that Michael Castellano didn't know anything about these people until hours before the competition started. He talked them up, gave them great nicknames, and gave the whole introduction the feel of a professional and important event. At the same time, he wasn't too serious. He'd crack the occasional joke, usually at the eaters expense, making it feel like he was on our side.

The ribs themselves didn't look that great. Part of the reason being we were at a BBQ-competition event, where people from all over the region were fighting for the right to declare themselves the "Best BBQ." So while mere feet away from the competitors was award-winning BBQ, the ribs the eaters were attacking seemed to be much more 'cafeteria-style'. As the amateurs dug in for the six minute competition, there was little to do. It was difficult to determine who was in the lead as the only indication of progress was the number of plates. Each plate represented 2.5 pounds of ribs, but because ribs is a "debris sport" the weight of the bones and leftover meat was subtracted. It seemed that just about everyone made it to two plates, and no one made it to three. So other than the schedenfraude of watching the contestants smear BBQ across their face, the actual event was more of a waiting game.

In the end, the final contestants were all relatively close to each other. The winner, Ronto, finished 2.2 pounds of rib meat in six minutes. This didn't bode well for the amateurs tomorrow, as Joey Chestnut's 2005 record was 5.5 pounds in twelve minutes. Ronto and his friends would have to eat more meat at a faster pace for a longer period.

The main event happened on Sunday at 3:00 pm. It was a little cooler, with a strong wind blowing in off the ocean. Michael Castellano looked even sharper than yesterday, wearing a four button suit and a tie in addition to the signature hat. While he did repeat some of the facts, trivia, and stats from the previous day, the larger crowd and presence of the "professionals" seemed to up his already fantastic MCing to new heights. The crowd was eating up every feat of the stomach that he mentioned and it became quickly apparent that the locals were not going to really be a part of the days events.

Right away the professionals were clearing the chairs out of the way and pouring the water from small water bottles to larger mouthed cups, presumably for easier access. Erik The Red had his own gallon of what looked like lemonade, and also a smaller bottle of what looked like sparkling water. Perhaps to enhance his ability to catch a belch? (was this a performance enhancer?) The main action was centered on the table. Joey Chestnut held the position of the Christ figure in the center, to his left in the position of John was LeFevre, and on his right in the position of Thomas stood Erik the Red. Further down on each side were less notable figures such as the "Pork Slayer" and Jason the Herbivore, but the table was set to draw our attention to the savior of American Competitive Eating, Joey Chestnut.

The crowd helped count down to the start and right away you could see something was going on. The amateurs were eating a rib like you or me. Richard LeFevre was hunched over, shoveling the food in his mouth in the style that earned him the nickname, "Locust", making it hard to see his method, but it seemed to involve chewing the meat off the bone. Erik the Red, standing tall with his special drinks and also chewing the meat off the bone. But then Joey... he was doing something else. He was stripping all the meat off the bone and shoving it into his mouth. It was so clearly obvious from the audience that this was a MUCH faster method, and yet only one man had thought of it? This was a reinvention of eating ribs which enabled Joey to speed past all the competition. As we watched his plates his pile up the only question was how much meat he was leaving on the bones.

My theory was that it didn't matter. Each bite of meat from the bone made that rib more difficult to eat from. While you could easily get five or six bites from a rib, number seven might be just a nibble, and that is a wasted bite. Better to toss the bone in the bucket and move on to the larger easier bites of the next rib. Cleaning the meat from the bone was a waste of effort, but the idea of not wasting food is also ingrained in American eating culture.

At some point their was a reversal of fortune. Thankfully this happened on the far end of the table (I think he was sitting in the Last Supper place of Judas). Cabel bravely investigated, but was kind enough to not show me the pictures. It did seem to hamper Jason "The Erbivore's" abilities, as he was sitting next to Judas. It was mentioned that Puker McPukerson may have been a plant, but as he only seemed to affect Jason's performance, that seems unlikely. :)

It was becoming clear that Joey was leading. He had four plates stacked up, which represented 10 pounds minus debris. How much meat at he stripped off? Was he just taking the easy meat, playing a psychological game? Unlikely, as he really seemed to be playing against his own record from last year. We had to wait for the weighing and the official results.

After the introductions and twelve minutes of eating the weighing of the debris was painful. For reasons I don't understand they only announce the top three places (these being the places that win cash prizes). It seems like they could weigh the contestants is reverse order of their expected performance, announcing to the crowd the official number. We'd be cheering as the numbers rose to the final astounding number of Joey Chestnut.

The man ate 8.4 pounds of rib meat. That's about the average weight of a human's head. All weekend I had been speed-eating my meals in an attempt to gauge how I compared to the professionals on the IFOCE circuit, but he ate 8.4 pounds off the bone in 12 minutes. That seems like an impossible feat to me. Except it's not impossible, I watched it happen. I watched a man eat the weight of his own head in rib meat.

Note: More to come! Stay tuned for a link to Cabel's movie footage and Josh's pictures.