Krystal Season Opens

If the fading whiff of grilled hot dogs means the height of summer is passing, then the scent of tiny square hamburgers can only mean the start of the autumn competitive eating season with the inimitable Krystal Square Off. Here are the stops the tour will make for qualifying rounds. The date ranges represent how long they will be in the particular city doing several mini-qualifiers. The winners of those mini-qualifiers head to the main qualifier on the last day and the winner of that qualifier goes on to the finals (um, got that?). Anyway, who lives in the south and wants to do some on-the-scene reporting/eating!

Krystal Square Off IV

Aug. 22 – 25: Chattanooga, TN

Aug. 31 – Sept. 3: Jacksonville, FL

Sept. 7 – 9: Nashville, TN

Sept. 14 – 16: Knoxville, TN

Sept. 21 – 23: Atlanta, GA

Sept. 28 – 30: Memphis, TN

Oct. 5 – 7: Perry, GA

Oct. 12 – 14: Jackson, MS

Oct. 19 – 21: Birmingham, AL

TBA: Chattanooga, TN (Nationally Televised on ESPN)

In a press release Brad Wahl, vice president of marketing for the Krystal Company, kept the boxing analogies going strong:

“Like following the ‘Fight of the Century’ between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier, the world is craving a rematch between Takeru Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut. Before that can happen though, Chestnut still has to qualify for the World Championship at one of our nine regional qualifiers. And it won’t be easy for the new number one ranked eater in the world. We anticipate more than 2,000 hopefuls to compete in our circuit events, including all of the top eaters in the world, and the competition will be fiercer than ever as guys like Patrick Bertoletti and Tim “Eater X’ Janus are out to prove that this is more than a two man contest.”

Though the eaters all aspire to be at the big Nathan's table, the Krystle Square Off still stands as one of the favorite competitions among the gurgitating elite. This is in no doubt due to the company's unwavering enthusiasm for the contest and for the eaters. What other eating competition can boast webcams airing all the qualifiers, a website that profiles all the eaters, and--new this year, my friends--the ability to pick your own fantasy eating team for the finals? (You might remember the True Fan's fantasy eating idea was born for last year's Krystal Square Off finals, though we were assured that the Krystal PR peeps were brewing a similar plan around the same time and needed a year to get it in working order.)

The site will be live Friday, so log on to www.KrystalSquareOff.com and click on the "Fantasy League" section. (Even if you are already on one of True Fan's fantasy eating teams, go ahead and join another! Mix it up a little. Since when are we in the business of moderation here?) From there, you'll be able to draft your own team of competitive eaters. If you have lots of buddies into this, go ahead and create a league--we aren't fancy here!. In fact, who wants to be in my league?

Some rules:

Leagues can have a maximum of seven teams but no fewer than four. Once teams have been drafted, owners can drop, add or trade their competitive eaters up until midnight on the day before the regional qualifier final. Eaters cannot be dropped, traded or added once they've competed. Points will be accumulated based on the average number of Krystal Hamburgers that each eater consumes in the local qualifier finals and their total at the Krystal Square Off IV World Championship.

Back in the real world, Kobayashi seems to be committed to participating, but will his jaw allow it? Furthermore, after his hard-won victory in hot dogs, will our new American hero, Joey Chestnut, allow himself to beaten by the reigning champ? Questions to ponder over tiny square burgers in the months to come.