Surprising Surprises, and other Redundant Redundancies

Week one of the NFL season always has a few surprises, and this year was no exception. I'm betting none of you put money on the Browns clobbering the Ravens, for example. There have been plenty of articles and TV commentary about all the surprises this week, so I might as well write another one. Being me, however, I'm not going to cover the Browns, nor the way Ahman Green tore apart the Carolina Defense (ranked 4th in the NFC against the run last year). Instead, I thought I'd cover the biggest surprise of week 1 - namely, all the unsurprising things everyone else seems so surprised about. For those of you in the media, I'll break them down into a top-5 list - ranked arbitrarily by me. Here we go:

1) Drew Brees starts and plays well against the Texans. When Marty Schottenheimer named Brees as the starter over Philip Rivers, the jaw flapping and hand wringing began in San Diego and around the NFL media establishment. I don't understand why. Who would be surprised that a 4th year pro, in his second year under offensive coordinator Cam Cameron, would play better than a rookie who held out for most of training camp and half the pre-season? Especially when everyone and their dog knows that stopping LaDainian Tomlinson is (rightly) the focus of any defense that plays the Bolts? It doesn't hurt that both Brees and the Chargers know he's auditioning for a job next year - and the better he does, the more compensation the Chargers are likely to get for him (not that they'll use the picks wisely, mind you, but still...). Anyone who thinks Brees is going to get a quick hook this year is in for an even bigger surprise next week.

2) Terrell Owens catches almost as many TD's in one game as the entire Eagles receiver corps did all last season. Come on, annoying as the guy is, he's still got the talent, and he was playing against the Giants' secondary (these guys gave my grandma a tryout last week, but the NFL has rules about wheel chairs on the field). Besides, it's not like they're setting the bar all that high - Philadelphia receivers caught all of 5 TD's last year combined. Be surprised if T.O. doesn't double -or even triple - that number before the year is out.

3) The Chief's D didn't do well against the Broncos. They've got the same guys playing this year as they did last year, going against one of the best rushing offenses in the league (see below). Gunther Cunningham is a great coach, but all the coaching in the world can't make old slow players younger or faster. It's too early to say the Chief's D stinks, but the odor emanating out of KC isn't a pleasant one. Of course, it's easier to smell in the clean, crisp air of Denver, where the Broncs are 17-7 since 2001.

4) Quentin Griffin ran for 156 yards and 2TDs against the Chiefs. Since 1995, the Broncos' running game has racked up the second highest ground total in the league (20,150 yds). That coincides with the arrival of one man in Denver: running backs coach Bobby Turner. His one-cut system has produced a 1,000 yard rusher every year except '01, when he didn't have a single back play more than half the season (Davis and Anderson combined for 1379 yards in only 15 games). The only surprise about the Broncos' running system is that more teams in the NFL don't use it.

5) Keyshawn Johnson hauls in 9 passes. The 'Boys were up against the top passing attack in the league, with a soft secondary. You knew it was going to be a high-scoring game for at least one team - and that the Cowboys would have to pass a lot once they got behind. Everyone who watched a single pre-season game (specifically the game against Tennessee) knows Keyshawn has made himself comfortable as Vinny Testaverde's favorite target once more. No one could guess that a Parcells team would throw 50 passes in a game, but still, if Vinny's gonna throw a lot, Key is gonna catch a bunch of those throws. I'm just surprised there were no INT's, and only one sack out of all that air-time.

Bonus Round: Mike Vanderjagt honks the game-tying figgy in NE. The guy's made every kick he lined up for since 2002. Streaks like that rack up incredible amounts of Bad Football Karma - especially when the streaker is as stupidly big-mouthed as Vanderjagt). It was inevitable the guy would miss a big one this season. Fans of the Colts should just be glad he did it early, and not in a playoff game.

There were surprises all right this week, but they were things like people anointing Joe Gibbs as the Real Deal in Washington because his 'Skins managed to squeak one out against a shaky Tampa Bay team that has no decent receivers, or the Bills (up 10-6 with less than 2:30 left in the game) punting on 4th and 10 from the Jacksonville 33. I guess the lesson here is: never be surprised by what the "experts" don't see coming.