June 2006 Archives

Pruess Press and the activities of Mr. Joel Mesler have been a constant and reafirming force on the TRUDI-scape. One of the vastly ignored aspects of Mesler's output into the world has been his music. Over the series of some in definate time span I hope to delve into it.

All tracks can be heard on
pruesspress.com
and include a variety of conspiritors.

How did it start?

IN THE BEGINNING, I HAD AN EMPTY BASEMENT, EXEMPT FOR A FULL BAR. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE IF SOMETHING HAPPENED AROUND A FULL BAR. IN RETROSPECT ALOT OF THINGS COULD HAVE WORKED, SUCH AS A SCHOOL, A MEETING HALL, BLACK MARKET BINGO, OR A SHUL. BUT THE MAYBE'S BECAME A SOMETHING WHEN THIS GUY ED(DON'T REMEMBER HIS LAST NAME) CAME BY, WHO WAS A FRIEND OF JOHNNY, A GUY I KNEW FOR A LONG PERIED OF TIME, WITH ALL OF THESE MICS AND GUITARS, AND A HARMONICA. ED WAS DYING, WELL HIS LIVER WAS DYING. HE WAS IN THE KOREAN WAR AND CONTACTED HEPITITES C OVER THERE. HE WAS HOMELESS, BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE ALL HIS MONEY FOR A LIVER TRANSPLANT WHICH HE WAS ON THE WAITING LIST FOR. WE WOULD SPEND NIGHTS DRINKING WHISKEY AND PLAYING MUSIC VERY CASUALLY, JUST FOR US SORT OF THING. AFTER SOME TIME ED STARTED SLEEPING IN THE BASEMENT. OTHER PEOPLE STARTED TO COME BY AND DRINK AND PLAY WITH US. I BEGAN RECORDING SOME OF THE SESSIONS WITH A MICROTAPE RECORDER MY FATHER GAVE ME, IT HAD A GREAT SOULFUL FEEL TO IT. THIS GUY MARK VON SCLEGELL THE WELL KNOWN SCI FI NOVELIST STARTED TO PLAY WITH US. HE ONCE HAD A BAND BUT STOPPED BECAUSE HE SAID IN THE END THERE WAS ALWAYS EGO. THE REASON HE LIKED PLAYIN IN THE BASEMENT WAS THERE WAS NO EGO, LEAVE THE EGO AT THE DOOR, OR DON'T COME IN. BEFORE I COULD NAME IT OR EVEN APRECIATE IT, THERE WERE SEVEREL PEOPLE PLAYING ALMOST EVERY NIGHT IN THE BASEMENT, DIFFERENT ARRANGMENTS DIFFERENT PEOPLE, DIFFERNT TYPES OF MUSIC. I BECAME TRULY AMAZED AT HOW MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF THINGS COULD COME OUT OF ONE PLACE. SO I STARTED LABELING ALL THE TAPES WITH DATES AND THE PEOPLE WHO PARTICIPATED. MY FRIEND ROBBIE KINBERG, BROUGHT A 4 TRACK TASKAN OVER BECAUSE HE WANTED STELLER QUALITY. EVERYTHING WAS EVERYONES, IT WAS LIKE A FAMILY WITHOUT THE PAIN.

(It should be said that Joel had relocated from NY and had opened a gallery in LA's Chinatown, the basement held the bar and so on...)

Has your position changed over the years? Like is it still it's own entity, with you along for the ride or are you more a facilitator now?

EVERYTHING CHANGES ALL THE TIME, AND SINCE THE BEGINNING THERE HAS BEEN SO MANY PEOPLE AND SO MANY DIFFERNENT SPACES, THINGS SEEMED TO CHANGE ALMOST EVERY SESSION. AFTER THE BASEMENT I MOVED THE STUDIO, INTO MY FRIEND, DENNIS HOLLINGSWORTH'S STUDIO. THE SOUND WAS MUCH DIFFERENT AND SO WAS THE ENVIRONMENT. THERE WAS A RAISED STAGE AND IT WAS VERY OPEN, WITH A STAINED GLASS CEILING. IT WASN'T AS COZY AS THE BASEMENT, IT USED TO BE THE BANQUET ROOM FOR THE OLD GERERAL LEE'S, SO IT WAS A BIT INDOOR, A BIT OUTDOOR. THE MOUNTAIN BAR JUST OPENED SO WE WOULD GET DRINKS THERE AND SNEAK THEM INTO THE ALLEY AND THAN TO THE STUDIO. IT OPENED IT UP TO MORE PEOPLE, CASUALLY, IF THERE WERE PEOPLE DRINKING AT THE BAR WHO WE WANTED TO PLAY MUSIC WITH, THEY WOULD JUST WALK NEXT DOOR AND START PLAYING.

THIS WAS ALSO THE TIME, 2002, WHEN I DECIEDED TO ORGANIZE ALL THE MUSIC. I HAD JUST PURCHASED MY FIRST COMPUTER, AND I DISCOVERED I TUNES. IT HAD CATAGORIES SO I MADE CATAGORIES, AND NAMED THEM.

UP UNTIL THAT POINT, I HAD NO IDEA HOW MANY SONGS I HAD RECORDED AND WITH HOW MANY DIFFERNT PEOPLE. IT WAS QUITE AMAZING TO HAVE IT ALL ON ONE MACHINE. I ONLY SPENT ONE YEAR THERE, AND THAN MOVED UPSTAIRS ONTO THE ROOF OF THE MOUNTAIN. THIS WAS THE MOST PUBLIC SPACE, IT WAS VERY SMALL AND HAD TIN WALLS, AND A GREAT VIEW. EVERYONE WANTED TO COME UP AND PLAY, AND SINCE ABOUT SIX PEOPLE HAD KEYS TO THE SPACE SOMEONE WAS ALWAYS EITHER PLAYING MUSIC OR FUCKING ON THE COUCH. INSTRUMENTS GOT DESROYED BUT GREAT DRUNKEN RECORDINGS BECAME. IT WAS THEN THAT IT SEEMED APPROPRIATE TO HAVE IT ALL AVAILIBLE ONLINE. IT WAS 2004, AND THAN IT WAS A FEAT TO TRY AND UPLOAD 2000 SONGS ONTO THE INTERNET. AT THAT POINT I WOULD JUST ACT AS THE GUY WHO PRESSED RECORD, SOMETIMES PLAYING AND SOMETIMES I WOULD JUST SMILE AND GET THE DRINKS, WHATEVER IT TOOK TO GET PEOPLE TO OPEN UP AND FREE THEMSELVES.

Why is it important for you to be free and open?

TO BE FREE, AS AN IDEA DOESN'T TRULY EXIST, REALLY. TO DO THINGS FROM A PLACE OF BEING FREE OF ONE'S SELF, IS THE PLACE WERE MAGIC SOMETIMES HAPPENS. TO BREAK FREE OF THE IDEA OF WHAT ONE CAN DO, WELL SOMETHING NEW HAPPENS, SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS, UNEXPECTED, SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED IF ONE ONLY TOOK ACTION THAT THEY THOUGHT WAS IN THEIR DEFINITON OF THEMSELVES. WHEN THIS HAPPENS WITH MUSIC, IT'S TRULY EXILIRATING TO EXPERIENCE AND ALSO TO JUST BE AROUND. I LOVE TO LOSE MYSELF AND WATCH OTHER PEOPLE LOSE THEMSELVES, I THINK YOU CAN HEAR IT IN THE MUSIC. I THINK THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUND THAT HAS BEEN PLANNED, AND ONE THAT CAME ACCIDENTLY, ALOT OF THE TIME WHEN THE FIRST HAPPENS YOU CAN NAME IT, OR REFERENCE IT, THINGS YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD, OR EXPERIENCED BEFORE, BUT WHEN THE SECOND HAPPENS... GOOD STUFF. WITH ALL THAT SAID, ITS NOT ALWAYS TRUE, I MEAN THE OPPOSITE CAN HAPPEN AS WELL, EVEN TO TRY AND BE FREE CAN HAVE ITS SNAGS, BUT WHAT DOESN'T. I JUST THINK ITS NICE AND FRUITFUL TO DANCE ON THAT VERY FRAGILE EDGE.

Why give it away for free?

WHY GIVE IT AWAY FOR FREE? SORRY I JUST GOT CIGEREETE SMOKE IN MY NOSE.

How does this "enterprise" fit into all the other roles you play? (artist, speculator, producer, writer, owner of a press, SCA dude, ect ect many of which will never have appropriate titles)

THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ALOT RECENTLY, LIKE WHEN I ASKED YOU A SIMILIAR QUESTION ABOUT YOUR PRACTICE. IF ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE HAPPING ALL THE TIME, AND SOMETIMES IT'S DIFFICULT TO CONNECT, THE QUESTION "WHO ARE YOU?" IS ALWAYS PRESENT. WHEN I HAVE THOSE CONCERNS I TRY AND PUSH THEM ASIDE. ORTHODOX JEWS HAVE A DIFFERENT IDEA OF EXISTANCE AND THE SELF, SINCE FUNDAMENTALLY THEY BELIEVE IN A G-D(THE IDEA OF EXISTANCE) THEY DON'T HAVE A NEED TO ASK THAT QUESTION TO THEMSELVES. WHY ARE WE HERE? TO GIVE THANKS AND TO SERVE, NOT TO LIVE AN EGO RIDDED LIFE. I TRY EVERYDAY TO ACKNOLEDGE THE GIFT OF LIFE, AND TO NOT ASK TO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MY SPECIFIC POSITIONING, OR WHERE I MIGHT STAND IN RELATION TO MYSELF AND THE CONNECTION BETWEEN IT ALL.
I LOVE DOING EVERYTHING I DO, SOMETIMES ONE THING WORKS BETTER THAN ANOTHER, BUT IN THE END I DON'T THINK THERE IS MUCH OF A CHIOCE. MONEY ASIDE, BECAUSE THAT'S A DIFFERNT SCHMOOZE, I RECORD AND PLAY MUSIC BECAUSE WHEN I PAINT I LIKE LISTINING TO MUSIC, AND IT'S NICE TO LISTEN TO MUSIC YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO MAKE MORE SENSE TO ME. I LIKE REAL ESTATE BECAUSE YOU CAN MAKE MONEY AT IT, AND YOU ALWAYS NEED TO BE SOMEWHERE, SO MIGHT AS WELL CONTROL YOUR ENVIRONMENT A BIT. IT'S BETTER TO HAVE GOOD PEOPLE AROUND YOU THAN NOT SO GOOD PEOPLE AROUND. BUT IN THE END I'M STILL SEARCHING, SOME DAYS BETTER THAN OTHERS.

I understand that the story is full of holes, just be patient.

More information can be found in the book LA ARTLAND or by looking at Joel's current exhibition at BLACK DRAGON SOCIETY, "Survival meets ideal hands".

PSYCHE!

Juan Scalipo has been one of the dudes in life that sparks things. He helped me cause lots of mischief and has pushed and inspired me sooo far. We have a pretty epically ridiculous exchange going through all mediums of communication, and it trully pleases me to allow him to have a further web presence. Oh yeah, I go in and out of making money but I never seem to go in and out of spending it. WTF?

JUAN SCALIPO FOREWORD: ok. so this isn't what i originally had in mind, but something i've been meaning to do forever.... transcribing my journal (which we were required to keep for english class, so it leaves out weed/beer) from 10th grade. i picked a random day and then gave you 7 consecutive days. by the way, try to avoid using my birth name in conjunction with art/zines, juan scallipo is more than encouraged, but i googled myself the other day, and i think the 2nd website was hellotrudi and the clip was "the boner drawing is by jus--- s----" and that's right between my grad school shit and my current job. I personally dont care, but i can imagine a potential employer/scientist finding that junk. BOOOOOOOOOING. mucho love. xoxoxoxoxoxo. -------------------------

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11-21-95
This morning someone started a fire in a trashcan down at the tennis courts. I bailed just as Ms. King and all the pit cops rolled up. I just finished a test in German. I'm gonna do my homework now so when I get home I can work on my campaign. Maybe I'll be able to play AD&D this weekend.
11-22-95
Last day of school before Thanksgiving vacation. Ryan's doing his speech on snakes! The other communicating class made up a country. Lisa was telling me about someone in her class. Turkey gave up land, it was Chicken. Then they told about the currency. Colonel Sanders is on the $100 bill. The military throws eggs. It sounded retarded. Tonight I'm just gonna kick it here, 'cause tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

11-23-95
Last night I went to Blockbuster and rented Final Fantasy II. Unfortunately, I've already played it. I just sat around and listened to some music. Today about 4, family came over for dinner. We had turkey and all the trimmings. I ate 4 helpings of my grandma's mashed potatoes. I ate pecan pie for the first time. It's not bad. Later on I called a bunch of people, trying to get something together. But the only person that could do anything was Lisa. She went to Laura's.

11-24-95
I think I'm going to a party at Nick Cain's. It's a prep party but oh well. Today it is cold outside.

11-25-95
Well, change of plans. Last night I ended up going to Bill's. There were a lot of people there: Lisa, Laura, Megan , Ryan, Mark, Denny, Jerrod, Maynard, Kevin, and Devin. We started out listening to Cypress Hill and White Zombie. We moshed in Bill's basement. Then we had a big brawl. Ryan wigged out and started kicking Maynard's ass. We broke it up. Then we all went outside and made a can bomb. That's why my shoe laces are cinged. Then Ryan and Maynard got into it again. Ryan's hand was bleeding from hitting Maynard's teeth. Kevin, Mark, Maynard and I got up in Bill's attic and looked through his stuff. Then we left. I went back to Denny's. We just watched TV and went to sleep. Today about 2 we cruised to my house. We put up Christmas lights. Then we skated a little. I landed 2 or 3 heelflips. We rented "Higher Learning" and went to Megan's. That movie rules! I learned to juggle, too. We went home afterwards. We played foosball for 4 hours while listening to Primus, DK, Rage, Rancid, and Bosstones. Then we crashed.

11-26-95 Sunday
This morning we had eggs and bagels. Denny's dad came about 11. Before he left we rolled up a character. So far he's a half-elf thief. As soon as he left I did all my homework. About 7pm we went to my grandma's. Then I came hom and fell asleep.

11-27-95
Man today was cold. It started out warm, then Boo-ya!, it got cold. I asked Karen to the Christmas dance. So now I'm going. Jeremy cleaned out the car. Chris was saying stuff about Kevin. Then he started ragging on me. He said, "Yeah you and Denny love Kevin. You love him! He's your best friend. " But I jocked Chris SO hard. I said "Hugh, at least I have friends!" He just turned away in shame. He ignored everyone for Courtney and wonders why no one likes him. He always talks behind people's backs.

(In the future this space will be a curated project space, but I feel that this email exchange between Jonathan Thomas and TRUDI is a fitting start(Jonathan is a friend out of Miami and just had an opening at our headquarters in LA)

TRUDI: the question is "what are you trying to get at in your work?"

JONATHAN: i'm more interested in creating beautiful things than i am in changing the world, i think
i'm more interested in solving immediate problems than i am in exercising long-term demons

you once said art keeps you from being depressed and i have thought about that quite a bit
i don't necessarily think that you meant you would be depressed if your didn't make art
but maybe?
i think the bottom basement foundation to my artmaking is just to try and obtain a little better understanding of myself in relation to the world
thats takes on a lot of forms from the intellectually labored complex investigation to the barest stripped viceral gesture to the mystical or mythical or sublime
but sometimes i think who am i kidding
im just trying to keep clear of depression

simple things are complicated and complicated things are simple
thats a fact

francis bacon talked about the brutality of facts i think
thats lead me to talk about the clarity of the incomplete
of the security of insecurity
i never seem to be able to finish things for a reason
because unfinished is finished

TRUDI: I think that's a great quote and leads to lots of thoughts about the validity in the end of work,
but in the process, in the thick of the jungle, is there ever this question for you about why is this thing/things i create different than these other peoples work? Or a question of it's pertinence to the world? Obviously if you were making work just to "explore" there wouldn't be this push to give it to the public, or the looming notion of history.

JONATHAN: I have never asked those questions really. Making things is hard enough to worry about originality. I think the push to make work public has to do with a culture of seeking success that im affected by - and i don't mean in terms of money or fame for god's sake. This is probably good and bad. You don't think about that to much do you? I mean the more public your work becomes, greater possibilities arise for collaborations and funding for research and travel and so on and so forth - and in so doing the creation of more meaningful objects/experiences might occur. That seems healthy right?. i think the notion of trying to push work on the public is a selfish one - but a interesting kind of selfish, and i do struggle with the idea of whether or not i am contributing to greater good of the world. wow thats to broad.

the zine format of a lot of your work is made for public consumption
yet the subject matter is intense and private
you are revealing this visual/verbal journal to the world
is it a ruse? is it a big fat metaphor
are you ever worried about using the first person in your stories?

TRUDI: to answer your question, no I don't think of an end, but I also don't put pressure and I don't try to use bourgouis ideology or materials in my work. That keeps it precious, away from the moment, and then you are forced to deal with all kinds of justifications for what you make and why it is important. I.E. if you make monochromatic big-ass paintings that are mounted behind 4 inches of glass, your work clearly becomes a comment on form and comes from a place of acknowledging what painting and artmaking is, I love that responsibility in fine art. I've studied film(and it's history) and people don't do that in film, they don't hold themselves responsible, they are interested in craft, aesthetic, and entertainment. But to go back to this monochromatic painting, I don't feel that you can look at this work and feel it is accesible or important except in the manner that art has been pushed into a corner, theorized down to a color and away from "life". I mean I look at Chris Johanson's work and i get excited, my mom get's excited too. He uses all these found materials or cheap ones to make work that acknowledges and explores. I feel the same way about the homie Chris Lipomi's work (p.s. I only like artists with th ename chris). Henry Taylor too.

And I think that leads right into zines. For one, I would never know how to put up that work in a gallery, the line drawings and stories would lose whatever they have, it seems that when they are folded and hidden until someone cracks open that page they have something a little more definative. I thought lots about getting some of that shit really published, but spending the money, 2 grand to publish a perfect bound book, seems like a vain quest of validation. I don't need a isbn number, the catharsis comes from making the work not in seeing a my name on a spine, maybe that is a defining characteristic between zines and books, zines can't have spine (this is turning into a bad godard quote ie"this difference between cinema and television is that you look up at cinema"). I definately feel that way between records and compact discs. It's impossible for me to read the spine of a record so I am forced to take the time to look at the cover and then I am forced to pull out the sleeve and read the notes as I sit and listen to the record.

What a tangent.

I guess in terms of the nature of my work, yeah it is private, it's stuff that I would never say out loud, but maybe that's because it would sound retarded. I mean you watch film school kid's films all the dialogue sounds the same. People don't talk like that. People don't say or have the ability to condense their emotions into a pull-quote. I know that when I watch Ingmar Bergman's films I get a lot out of them, and it's because I'm reading subtitles, Sweedish people can't watch his movies because Swedes don't talk like that. So for the printed work, I make a conscious effort to not keep it precious: photocopying, saddle stitch, stream of conscious content, and I have yet to make money on any of the approximately 30 publications I have made. But also it seems anonymous to me, I no longer put my name on my work and with a few exceptions, give them to people I hardly know or don't know at all. Bobby Birdman sent me a link yesterday to this girl's myspace account, a girl I have never met, who in her profile said that my little book was her favorite, that shit made me feel fucking great. It's her's now.

I talked with a boy recently who own's a gallery, a we had talks about pricing and selling work. I guess I would love to hear your thoughts, or atleast start a dialogue about the market tendencies you think about.

JONATHAN: you know there are really a hundred places to go with your last thoughtful passage. for now i'll pick one
how fucking great is it when people you don't know in any way love what you bring into the world
theres no play, theres no buzz, theres no context- just genuine emotion
whoa whoa whoa but wait a second - there are people out there who would like fucking anything!
shit scrubbed on a wall, thomas kincade paintings, gwen stefani's holla back girl
there is always someone somewhere who is gonna love what you do -that doesn't have bearing on the goodness of something - so genuine emotion or not im not sure if that makes me feel like my work is good
whoa whoa whoa - im not talking about the specific goodness of something- feeling good about what you do is a differenet issue than whether or not what you do is good

trying to establish universal ideals and truths to artmaking just doesn't work
I probably wouldn't like shit scrubbed on a wall or gwen stefani's holla back girl
but there is nothing more beautiful in the world than your ability to love something genuinely-
the only stability is instability
its the -I may not agree with what you think but ill defend your right to believe it to my death- idea
as the creator
you have to find meaning not in whether something is good or bad but in the mere ability for someone to determine goodness individually... right?
your "art" may be less about the specific content of the zines than the purpose of there anonymous existence as treasures to some and trash to others

thats beautiful to me
so trying to determine if your or my work is good or not is a meaningless act for the creator to concern themselves - you are too intimate with the work to make judgment rationally and others opinions are to varied and unpredictable for such a subjective activity - even among scholars and friends
so the only thing left is the discovery of someones genuine interest - that can only happen under very unusual pure circumstances, thats special

and it not only makes you feel fucking great
but me as well