Movies and The Internet--ON_LINE

I'd seen a bit of this film when it played at my theatre a few years ago (the line "would you like to polish my knob" is unfortunately stuck in my brain), but I only recently sat down to watch it for the series. On_Line is aimed at the young, tech-saavy youth of today, who think they will be able to use the internet to help fulfill their sexual wants and desires. It focuses on an introspective young guy named John who runs a service with his roommate Moe called Intercon-X, where people can connect with others through video chats to help get each other off or possibly meet-up IRL. The irony here is that John is unable to get over his ex-girlfriend and spends all his time updating his video blog and admiring girls without ever contacting them.

Things get more interesting when cheating, potential suicide, and bisexuality are introduced, but overall this was a pretty tame film with some lofty ambitions to update the classic romance formula with new technology. Let's take a look at some photos.

Note: On_Line is the first film in the "movies and the internet" series to be viewed in High Definition, which didn't really make much of a difference, except that I was forced to take literal screenshots of my display for the images. Of course, there is something weird about watching something in HD that contains a good amount of footage obtained via webcams.

This is our protagonist, a classic internet nerd with nothing much to say except things like "the world is a lot smaller than you think" and "this is my life, these are my obsessions"--ugh.

Whoa, this shot is underneath the desk! There were so many attempts to make sitting at a computer seem dynamic and sexy.

Check it out--John's roommate is totally Michael from LOST!

This is the computer of the totally sexy lady Jordan who drives the guys crazy. Let's take a look around--furry pink monitor! a dildo! a wig and sunglasses for pretending to be that other character!

To get deeper into John's world, make sure you use the SnorriCam.

John meets up with Jordan and the screen explodes into dozens of frames! This made my head hurt--what am I supposed to pay attention to?!

Moe meets this lady Moira who likes to spend time with the suicide-obsessed on "Final Exit", chatting with people why they talk about how miserable their lives are.

Look! Moe/Michael is totally playing with himself!

Things don't work out with Moe and Moira, so John steps in and she helps him get over his ex, who we find out is the girl on the "Angel Cam" we have been watching the whole film. Something about watching your ex live her life out on a web cam seems a tad bit unhealthy, no?

I didn't really enjoy this film, since it compromised in too many areas while it tried to be provocative and progressive. The use of video chats was somewhat cutting-edge, but I'm unaware of any sites that actually have the bandwith alloted to maintain a half-dozen simultaneous video chats some 4-5 years after this film came out. The film mostly doesn't work because there are only so many ways you can convey information via computer screens, and it tries way too hard to make that interesting.

I leave you with a few more choice quotes from the cast:
"How exquisite it must feel to be a thing of beauty"
"Of course I believe it--it's on the fucking internet!"
"It's much easier to love an image than a real person."