Urban Honking

Holding it down til 2073, always the final say on Dierks Bentley, a connaisseur of fine rhymes: Jon Partymanica. You will soon silkscreen his face on your number-one foam finger.

N*E*R*D*’s show last night was hinged entirely upon the life-force that is Pharrell Williams’ sexual magnetism. Period. While this is not entirely a bad thing, because Pharrell’s sexual magnetism is a hot blast of nuclear light from unexplored (and dangerous!) parallel universes, and succeeded in mesmerizing me* for about four songs (three, if we must […]

For the past three days, when friends inquire how I am, I have regularly been responding, “My brain feels as though it is being squished open like a zit with a waffle iron.” Today, I felt like Atreyu riding that winged-dog monster through space, as I handed a box containing what is tantamount to THE […]

Though we rarely see one another in the flesh, my four-blocks-away-neighbor Jeremy Devine and I love to rant/debate music b.s. on the phone. Today’s topic: the new issue of Alternative Press, in which Eyedea and Abilities are erroneously described as the “Shaq and Kobe” of hiphop (with the byzantine qualifier “except they’re on good terms”)–such […]

Would I owe rosaries if my fave record this year was B2K’s Greatest Hits? I’m not saying it is… I’m just asking.

Woke yesterday at 8 am, to the sound of J Hoppa on the “Milkshake” ringtone, calling to relay best-friend secrets that stay on the phone, in the phone. This is a declaration to our best-frienditude: no one, absolutely no one, but Jessica may call me between the hours of 3 am and 9 am and […]

My extraordinary housemate Connie has been vacationing/housesitting for some rich people in le West Hills (mere blocks from Sheed’s vacated mansion) and so last night, pre-Aceyalone, we enacted our own temp. version of cribs in the upstairs den (attached to the master bath, swank) and watched MTV on the flat plasma screen thingie. After being […]

NY party people: Mon ami E*Rock has an art show, the Lanky Weird Dudes Drawing Show, at Little Cakes in BK starting the 29th. It is not a lie; I can attest to his lankiness and weirdness (and dudeness). I can also attest to his total renaissance man-ness: on 4/16, he shall screen his inimitable […]

Project Blowed chugs along–endless, boundless–and tonight, Aceyalone reminded us why he’s the rock. (Although the sound guy was stoned/AWOL (not One, thnk gdns), so crazy-for-sub-bass Rhettmatic, god love ‘im, sometimes drowned out lyrics.) All Balls don’t Bounce is out again and they did “Arhythamaticulas,” remix of “Mic Check.” Les Good Bros. accompanied, and wore vague […]

Katastrophe: friend of the Scream Club, FTM emcee, and possibly the first person to rhyme “massagin’ me” with both “mysogyny” AND “androgyny.” Another reason: who else is putting in a brag about their 1 1/2 inch dick?