Urban Honking

Unfailingly, here in the front row of emo rap shows, just before its mostly white emcees bust onstage, punky teen girls get their lips sticky with gloss and giggle, eyes doe-lined and pubescent, perfecting their best “choose me” coy fist pump. Maybe hoping dude’ll spit a lyric their way, maybe hoping something else, but with […]

My favorite Republicans, Billionaires for Bush. Celebrating in Bryant Park, a chortling flurry of caviar and gold lame and petit fours and rhinestones, a precursor to their Weds. nite ball coronating King George. Having champagne over “Dick Cheney’s innocence.” Anarcho-direct action shakedown on the steps of the NY Public Library… 4 paddy wags parked, doors […]

Here’s tomorrow’s most interesting/fun RNC protest event, organized, unsurprisingly, by the lovely brave ingenues of Code Pink: Fox News “Shut-up-a-thon” Tuesday, Aug 31 @ 04:00 PM 2 hours Location: 1211 Ave of the Americas bet. 47th & 48th Join Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly in shouting, “Shut up!”(his favorite line) in front of Fox’s corporate HQ. […]

Three years ago, the world was not ready for Townsend, but I am pretty sure you are now.

RIP to Laura Branigan, she of my trademark karaoke song, “Gloria.” VMAs were slightly more exciting than my mom at church, and a flagrant waste of celebrity… like, why even invite Missy Elliott if you only alot her 30 seconds of mic time? Or did Usher’s auto-erotic acceptance speeches cut into everyone else’s screen shots? […]

Even at 6 am PST, World’s Greatest Ex/Pug Trader Ezra Ace is slinging zingers: “Did Fat Joe lick his shoe? Did he lick Cam’ron’s shoe? Interracial gay licking: the future of hip-hop.” ANSWER: Is that Hollywood Montrose on the “Get ‘Em Girl” chorus? I’m sure the fellows will better summarize it, but I will say […]

My mind is coming apart like when Cam’ron and Nas TP your mom’s house for democracy. OK not like that. When petite Belgique choreographer Anne Teresa de Keersmaeker puts post-modern steps—twitch and skitter across the floor on kneepads, kick their legs out and up and roll around on the ground a lot—on Mostly Mozart in […]

Sorry for the site outage. This is what happens when people like me don’t pay their paltry “$10 suggested donation” hosting fee or whatever: the Merrill Cartel takes your blog away. And they take it away GOOD. They twirl their moustachios and cry, “how do you like it NOW, fun-boy?” the answer is “not.” I […]

Not having cable TV has turned me into an Amish person, apparently, because I have thus far labored unawares as to the ridunkulous sexual verisimilitude that is Usher Raymond’s stee. I just figured anyone who’d propose marriage to his woman MID-COITUS would have the brokest game in history. BUT! The man is hurricane charlie: his […]

I’m just saying, even despite (or maybe in tandem with) the government’s religious fanatacism, Jesus is slathered all over ’04’s face. Score another one from the paint for Mr. Water-into-Wine, cause Lauryn Hill was shooting a music video outside my office yesterday. If god is truly merciful, it is a video from her autumn-promised album, […]