Solving the problems of the modern family.

A lot of couples are keeping their individual last names when they marry. I approve of this, and would not ask a woman to take my last name when we got married. But it does present a problem. What do you name the kids?

Why not give them the last names of historical figures? Caitlin Lincoln. Sandy Oppenheimer. Andrew Hirohito. Chris Voltaire.

See, it's fun!

They'd still be your kids. It's not like "having your name" was proof that they're your offspring.

I don't think we should exclude reviled historical figures either. Little Jenny Mussolini. Dennis Idi Amin. Derek Ivan the Terrible. Tracy Mobutu.