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How it doesn't work
by acdickson
Someone put something in the eBay water this week, cause AC got a rash of unsavory eBay communiques. I'll walk you through them.
First I got an email from a customer who got her item two weeks ago that read "I very nicely always take the time to leave good feedback and always wonder why others can't seem to do that." Hmm. One of the tough things about email is that you can't hear tone. I'm going to go with sarcasm on this one, but I can't imagine hearing that sentence said any way in my head that makes me think, funny. It always sounds annoying. You try it. See? Now, AC may be a little slack on leaving feedback, but I eventually leave it. Sometimes a month late. Sue me. It just so happens my time is valuable and I can think of better uses of it then leaving individual feedback every time I get paid. (Imagine me saying paid real slow). So I get a lot of these 'please leave me feedback' emails, and I always do. They're just usually a little more pleasant and with some mention of enjoying their winnings. Which is what I did in this case, but grudgingly.
The next two concern my eBay store which is swelling quite nicely with NASA collectibles and antique postcards for holiday shopping. Now the nifty thing about the store is I can set my prices kind of high, but allow shoppers to make me an offer, a new feature that I quite like.
So I had a nice antique turn-of-the-century postcard of a steamer ship on Lake Sunapee in New Hampshire. I had priced it at $18. Steep? Maybe. But some early steam ship cards reach the $25-50 range in auction. Granted this one didn't get a bid during the 7 day auction at $5, but that's because the old timers and baby boomers who spent summers on the lake weren't shopping on eBay that week (or so my theory goes). Someone out there wants this thing. And that person emailed me an offer. Of $2. Would you go to car lot and offer $1000 for a $9000 used car? I don't think so. Unless you were looking for a black eye from the salesman. Would this person offer me $2 if I was a dealer at a postcard convention? Again, no. But the whole faceless I'm-on-the-other-coast luxury of the Internet makes it all too easy in this case. I ignored that one. Keep reading to find out accepting would have precluded me from even breaking even.
Next up was a nice luggage label from the 1939 San Francisco World's Fair, also known as the Golden Gate Exposition. Mint, with gum still on the back of the label, 60-some-odd years old, ready to stick on your suitcase. A nice piece of graphic design to boot. I had it at $8. They offered $4. But in the message it was explained to me that my shipping price of $2 for first class mail was wrong. "$1.00 for envelope and mail. Item will ship for 37 cents. Total is $5.00." Oh, really? And the next time I'm at the car repair shop I'll tell them I'll pay for the part, but only half the labor charge. This one probably amuses me the most, because all they had to was offer me $3. And you know what? I would have sold the damn thing. Let me point out that nothing I sell ships for 37 cents. Because when you put antique paper collectibles in an envelope (especially when they ship from LA) they arrive damaged and the buyer (who has declined to pay for insurance) gets pissed and wants their money back. So I put them in a plastic sleeve (which costs me money), between cardboard (which I usually get for free and then cut to size) and put them in a nice manila envelope (which costs me money) and go to the post office (which costs money and/or time to get to, depending if I drive or walk and the wait in line) and send it after they have paid me through PayPal (which costs me money). Not to mention that eBay charges me to post the auction and takes their cut. Oh gee, and maybe, just maybe, this thing didn't grow on a tree. Maybe I had to drive to an estate sale where I found and bought this thing, took it home, scanned it, described it, and uploaded it so anyone could add it to their collection. So even though the postage will still be only 60 or 83 cents, I'm not making very much money, that extra buck forty or seventeen is what we in the business call "handling". As in there's the shipping and the handling. So spare the lecture and save it for the Compact Disc merchants who charge priority rates but ships your single CD media or the office supply people who rope you into their auction with a low Buy It Now price but charge $8 to send a single ink toner.
That said, I got a great email from an Australian woman who nearly cleared me out of vintage Apollo era NASA booklet this morning. So it's all good.
Comments
dear ac power guru,
here's a situation.. there is a kind of rare keyboard up for bid on ebay and it happens to be the keyboard i want. now this keyboard is only rare to nerds like me, it's not a monetary rare-ness. it's going for $80 or something and i bid on it. well soon after i notice all these girls bidding it up which is totally fishy because i'm probably the 10th girl in the world that even knows what this keyboard is(not to be that way but c'mon) i'm like okay whateves i really want it, so i get it for 300 which is not horrible. i ask him for insurance and i pay the $10 he requests plus $40 shipping. i should mention that before i bid on it at all i sent a ebay question 'is there anything wrong with it AT ALL??' he says 'nothing at all' well, i get it and it's broken. not only is it broken, but i find out from very reliable sources(basically the only guy in the world that fixes/has parts for this in san jose) that there is no way this could've happened in shipping and it's his professional opinion that it was a pre-existing condition. "honey, you have to come to terms with the fact that people aren't honest.." FUCK! the guy who sold it to me is not being too cool about the insurance and tells me there was an as-is in the ad. i think he might not of even got the insurance.. i already left good feedback(when i got it and it turned on okay) and he left good feedback. the reality is that i can fix this for under a 100 buks but shouldn't this guy be held accountable for repairs? or am i screwed under the as-is he's fallen back on? also, i'm so new to selling on ebay and this is my first actual purchase. i don't want to disturb my perfect 10 rating. kill.
Posted by: honey owens at November 22, 2005 11:07 AM
AC
Don't know if you were aware of the following Vinny Gallo tidbit. Apparently it was yanked off of ebay in short order.
"Up for auction is Vincent Gallo's sperm. Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself. Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo’s multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo’s sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5’11” and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it’s a boy. (8 inches if he’s like his father.) I don’t know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can’t hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo’s sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child. Good luck bidding."
Posted by: Daddy Fool at November 22, 2005 1:39 PM
Don't take any shit from those lowballers, bro.
Posted by: josh at November 21, 2005 11:54 AM