we don't have to be stars exploding in the night...
by Willow
or anything quite so unreal
let's just be lovers!
I have that Magnetic Field's song stuck in my head, thanks to a cozy weekend at Rebecca's doing homework and listening to itunes. It's a pretty good one to hum while I photocopy pumpkin prints and stuff. It's all kinds of rainy today, but I'm not minding it at all. Yesterday Rebecca and I picked Steve up from the airport and then the three of us brunched at that weird castle by Multnomah Falls. All you can eat! Buffet! All you can drink! Champagne! It was so nice. And then today we basically let the kids play all day long, which was so fun for all of us. Halloween is no time for forcing kids to do work. They thanked us with lots of hugs and stories that went nowhere.
After work I went to the chiropractor to get my spine aligned. She gave me a sweet massage beforehand and I almost fell asleep on the table. My back feels so good! Now I'm drinking hot chocolate for a half an hour until my yoga class. Today is Total Wellness Day for me! When was the last time I did yoga or had an adjustment or lay on a massage table? The answer is I don't fucking know, it's been so long. But health insurance is sweet, and so is knowing the yoga teacher, so I am in good shape today.
Also making me happy? An inbox filled with nice emails from nice friends-old and new, cyber and real-life. It is so rad to be In Touch with people. I feel expansively loving and loved.
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On another note, we finished season one of LOST last night. And it was so intense that we went ahead and watched the first episode of season two. Which was also extremely intense. There is so much danger on that island!!! I'm getting to the point where I am almost too scared to watch the show. I don't know where my readers are in their LOST viewing, though I know many of you are deep into the show. When can I start gushing about plot points without being a spoiler? Report back to me, please, ASAP. Because The Others are giving me nightmares and I need to discuss!
Posted on October 31, 2005 | Comments (5)
Halloweiners
by Willow
Lately I've been waking up with poem fragments rattling around in me. It's funny. An hour before my alarm goes off I'll open my eyes and think, "When did I grow to fill this bed?/When did I move from side to center?" or "Running my palm down my arm I confirm/ with great relief/ that I am more than flesh and nerves." Then I fall back to sleep but spend the rest of the day struggling to remember.
Autumn does that to me. It shakes loose my silly lines, my poems and songs, my mix-tape plans, my margin sketches. Maybe I harvest the ideas that have been growing all summer. Maybe the knowledge that winter is creeping up behind scares my subconscious into spilling the beans. In any case October is always good to me. And thank the lord, because I spend the rest of the year secretly worrying that I am not an artist, not even close. Acting counts only when I am in front of the camera, and blogging... well, it depends on who you talk to.
My friend Galen, who is a ridiculously talented comic artist, disapproves of this line of thought. In his estimation, art extends beyond physically creation. He points to the art of conversation, the art of problem solving, and what about con artists? (I'm actually citing a conversation we had in high school here, so I hope I'm not misrepresenting him, if his views have changed.) His is a reassuring, if unconventional viewpoint.
The point is, October brings me respite from my artistic insecurities. I might not jam out on the stand-up bass or paint dinosaurs, but one month a year I write poems and little songs, and it gives me some satisfaction. Steve and Rebecca and I were talking recently about our respective adolescent poetry experiences, and how emo poetry readings should make a comeback. Or more specifically, we should find our high school poems and read them to each other at Denny's or something.
Happy Halloween!
Posted on October 29, 2005 | Comments (0)
I made 7 people cry
by Willow
I had the weirdest long day today. So many college classes, so much emotion! It was my turn to lead our seminar class, and I brought up inter-cohort communications as my topic. We used to have these amazing dynamic class discussions, but this semester has been pretty flat. People are stressed, vibes are negative. We can do better than that! So I had the group do a freewrite and read-around, voicing their concerns and frustrations. In a class of 19, I made 7 people cry. And also I cried. But we moved through the awkwardness and emotion, and came out with a renewed collective commitment to pumping each other up. There was a lot of hugs, a lot of apologizing and clarifying, a lot of agreeing to be more present and invested in our group health. I feel so fried now, but also really hopeful. School has not been much fun these last couple months, and I think this conversation has the potential to really turn things around. I love my cohort, and I want our connection to be strong and clear.
Sorry for the very specific, probably boring to you entry. Here are some fun things:
* I am unwinding after my cathartic day by eating Doritos and watching TV with Steve and Rebecca. ANTM. Nacho Cheesier. Ganja. It's so good.
* Every time I had a break from class today I checked my email and found a new message from my friend giving me awesome links to Bruce Springsteen info and nerdy LOST trivia. So nice. It was like being fed York peppermint patties all day long. Yum.
* Dave Longstreth is in town, and I was lucky enough to eat pizza with him this evening. I love that man. Nice man.
*I talked to my mom after the crazy seminar and she gave me nice new age advice on group safety and dynamics. Think placing worries in baskets. That's what I'm talking about.
Posted on October 26, 2005 | Comments (8)
market research
by Willow
So, I think it's time for Perfect Heart to receive a makeover. Fall is here, and with it comes changes, shedding of the old, reminders of our mortality, pumpkin patch visits, sweet puffy vests, waking up in the dark, crunchy afternoon walks, moving bikes to basements, flu shots, bouts of depression, a renewed love of nature. And blog redesigns.
In that spirit, I ask you, dear readers, for some (gulp) blog feedback. How do you feel about Perfect Heart's current design? Is it easy enough to navigate? Do I need more links and photos (I know I do)? Does it bug you that I do most of my blogging on weekends now? Should I post-date my entries and have them show up on Wednesday or whatever, since most of you check me from work? And what about content? More lists? Less? Is the emo to anecdotal ratio working for you?
This is like Pandora's box! The moment I thought about doing a reader survery there was no turning back, even though I'm totally nervous about getting slammed!
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In other news, did you all know that I love my friend Rebecca? Well, I really do. We are having a "romantic weekend getaway" together right now, due to her electricity being turned off in her apartment and me having an extra futon in my little nest. She's a great grand girl, as the Irish would say.
Also, LOST is the best, scariest show ever! Mike, Josh and I (plus recent addition Rebecca- see above) have been going so deep in to the LOST archives. Let me tell you. The show is good. And it is scary. Sometimes it starts to get predictable (especially when you're watching 3-5 episodes in a row), but then they throw in a plot twist that FUCKING BLOWS YOUR MIND!!!
My favorite characters:
*Hurley
*Claire
*Charley
*Black lady that we've met only twice
*Sai-eed (spelling?)
*And in a surprise twist, Sawyer!
LOST is Survivor meets Twin Peaks, and it is FREAKY!
Get in.
Posted on October 22, 2005 | Comments (6)
I ain't no bear/sexy music questionnaire
by Willow
I've been in crush-hibernation the last few months- avoiding dates, feeling gross. I felt like I had checked the last crush off my list after those dates with Coffee Shop Crush in August. No one seemed that interesting to me, and and the thought of more first dates made me groan or yawn, depending on my mood. Lots of studies + working with little kids + being sick + waves of depression= Do Not Ask Me On A Date, I Am NOT Interested.
But. Now. I have a crush. And it feels great. It is a super secret crush, so secret that this person does not even get a pseudonym. It is very probable that s/he reads my blog, and as I am 97% certain that my crush is unreciprocated (and possibly inappropriate) I don't want to give any hints. But my blog has been so drama-free for the last little while, any butterflies deserve some air time, right?
Which brings me to my next topic: sexy music.
What bands put you in the mood? Post them in the comments!
Here is my (partial) list:
*Nirvana
*Esquavelle (I have no idea how to spell this)
*Yo La Tengo
*Bruce Springsteen
*Heart
*Otis Redding
*Panther
I could keep this list going all night long, baby, but I have a date with my Elementary Mathematics textbook. Hot.
Posted on October 17, 2005 | Comments (17)
dateless wedding Q&A
by Willow
Please allow me to anticipate your probing questions regarding my dateless attendance at last night's wedding:
Q: Did you forget to turn off your cell phone, and did it ring during the ceremony?
A: Yes, and sadly, yes. Although my ringer sounds like windchimes which softens the blow a bit. Also I was able to frantically switch it iff after only 3-4 seconds. But still, right?
Q: Were you seated next to your enemy at the reception, as predicted in your last entry?
A: Of course I was.
Q: Did he become your defacto date for the evening, despite your mutual loathing?
A: Aaargh! Yes.
Q: Did he make snide comments about you hamming for the camera?
A: Yes he did.
Q: Did you make snide comments about him selling his soul for a little bit of cash? (He is a writer cum insurance guy.)
A: I did make snide comments, yes.
Q: But, in fairness, did he hold an umbrella over your head and bring you wine when your glass was empty?
A: Yes he did.
Q: And that was nice, right?
A: Whatever.
Q: Let's talk dance floor. Did you do the electric slide and the hustle?
A: Yes. VERY poorly on both counts.
Q: And after a couple of glasses of wine did you become the classic wedding loser dancing with the ring bearers to Golden Oldies on an otherwise deserted dance floor?
A: Not for the whole time or anything! And Crista was with me for most of it! Oh forget it. I was that loser.
Q: But let me take this moment to remind our readers that you are, in fact, an EXTRORDINARILY good dancer.
A: Well. Thank you for that.
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Hopefully your burning questions have been answered. Here are a couple more anecdotes, though just in case:
*My friend Justin Sanders was the best man. We got to talking about toasts, and he told me he planned on "winging it." Aghast, I forced him to go stand in the lobby and come up with a "thread" to wind through his speech, convincing him finally that "winging it" effectively equals "making a bad toast." He found a thread, and his toast was fine.
*Dusty reported witnessing a very cinematic conversation between my enemy, Joe C., and a tall groomsman from Oklahoma. The DJ announced the last song, and I went to find my shoes along the dancefloor periphery.
Tall Groomsman to Joe C.: It's the last song, man. Are you gonna dance with her, or am I?
Joe C.: What?
Groomsman: Listen, brother. This is my last night in town. If you don't go ask her to dance right now, I'm going to. So what's it gonna be?
According to Dusty Joe just turned around and beelined over to me. He arrived just as I was putting on my shoes.
Joe C.: That tall dude wants a piece of you (or some similarly crass comment.)
Willow: That's because I'm so good looking. (Thinking Joe is making some weird mean joke.)
Joe and Willow slow dance to "You Light Up My Life," or some other such nonsense. It is awkward and funny.
Q: Do you have a hangover?
A: Please turn the lights off and bring me some coffee.
Posted on October 16, 2005 | Comments (9)
superstitions
by Willow
In Ireland there is a superstition about magpies. They're regarded as bearers of news:
One's for sorrow
Two's for joy
Three's a girl
Four's a boy
If you see only one magpie, you have to wave at it, like you're waving bye-bye to sorrow. It reminded me of another counting superstition that my mom's old Canadian boyfriend taught me about sneezing:
One's a wish
Two's a kiss
Three's a letter
Four is something better
I wonder if there are a lot more of these little rhymes. If you, sweet readers, know of any, will you post them in the comments? I like them.
Unrelatedly, I am going to a wedding tonight. Dateless. WHAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I MADE THIS DECISION??? WHO GOES TO A WEDDING DATELESS??? It only hit me yesterday that this is a TERRIBLE idea, but by then it was too late. I tried to rope Mikey into going with me, but I sorta felt like a creep asking so late in the game, and besides, he has plans. Just now I was lamenting to my friendly barista Rachael, and she offered to be my date. But then I called around and figured out there is assigned seating at the reception and bringing someone might be weird. So I guess I'm going solo. My sneaking suspicion is that I will be seated next to my arch nemisis Joe C. People think it's funny to force us to socialize even though they know we are enemies.
Weddings are dumb.
Posted on October 15, 2005 | Comments (1)
long lost friends?
by Willow
When I was driving around today I heard the song "American Woman" on the radio. I don't really like the song at all. But when I lived in Ireland they played it in pubs all the time, and whenever it came on all of my Irish friends would gush, "Willow! It's your song!!" You know. Because I'm American. And also a woman. And then they'd start dancing and pointing at me, and I'd have to dance too, because it was "my song," but really I'd be thinking, "I hate this song! I do not feel connected to it in anyway! I am a fraud!" Ah, the ex-patriot experience.
So, I've wanted to do a "shout out" entry for a long time. Maybe that's not the right term. Basically I want to post a list of long lost friends, so that if they ever google themselves they'll be led to my blog and get back in touch. These are people that I still have a great deal of love for, even though we drifted apart long ago. So, in no particular order, here I go:
*Eliza Furmansky (Is this how I spell her last name? I can't remember! Maybe Eliza Fermansky? How did I forget? I can still remember her old phone number!) Eliza and I were friends from 4th-10th grade. She still defines "artist" to me. That girl made great art, had lovely handwriting, acted in plays, and has lots of really cool friends. She was a "free spirit." as they say. We had a lot of fights, mostly because I was pretty insecure and she could be unintentionally mean. But I loved her, and still think about her a lot. I heard she moved to Seattle, and if she's still there I'd really like to have a visit. Her mom let us have boy-girl sleepovers in middle school, and her dad helped us build sukkots in his backyard every autumn.
*Darcy Otis was my friend at Denver School of the Arts in 9th grade. She played cello and loved buffalo (the animal, not the city.) She always seemed vaguely sad, and I heard she went through some rough times after we fell out of touch. I hope she is okay now. She had a great sense of humor and loved Janis Joplin. Her car was named Linus, and mine was Lucy.
*Geoff Wolfson was my first boyfriend in 4th grade. Also an amazing artist, he and his brother Sol used to hairspray their bangs up NKOTB-style. We went to middle school together, but parted ways in high school. I ran into him at a movie theater a few years ago, and was so surprised to see him that I think I acted really weird. He had a great voice.
*Talia Epstein, Andrea Von Der Oh (also foggy on this spelling), and Sarah Weum were my freshman roommates. I really liked those ladies, even though I acted like a crazy lady throughout that entire year. I was an only child living with other young people for the first time, and I didn't handle it very well. They were very gracious though, and I hope they are having fun hiking around and stuff. (They were real outdoorsy ladies.)
*Martin Wilson is the man who made me a woman. You know what I mean. He had spikey bleached-blond hair and loved everything electronic (including but not limited to: robots, e-music, uh, other electronic stuff...) He was so nice to me. He had this really soft hispanic voice, funny posture, and a blue jacket that I loved. He moved to Spain for a semester in college and wrote me love letters in Spanish, and called me from weird phone booths there. I responded by acting like a flaky 18 year old girl and bailing out when the distance seemed too far. He may still live in Portland, but I haven't run into him in the year since I moved back here, so maybe he left town.
There are probably lots of other people I'd like to find, but that's all I can think of right now. Maybe this will become a regular feature for me. It's nice to indulge those old feelings and memories sometimes. If any of the people I mentioned here ever read this, please send me an email- wonderwillow@gmail.com. I want to know where you went.
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In other news, I think my random adult acne is clearing up. Hooray! I've been using this clay-infused face wash from New Seasons made by Collective Well-Being. It makes my skin feel so nice! I also purchased a Desert Essence blemish stick, and carry it in my purse. I have been applying it whenever I remember, which means sometimes in class and sometimes at Zac's birthday dinner at Sagetarius. Bad manners? Maybe. Clearing up my skin? I think so! Why oh why have I been breaking out so much now, at age 25, when I made it through my entire teenage years virtually pimple-free? Am I being punished? Grr.
It is possible that the longer I am Without Boyfriend, the worse my appearance becomes. Skin: bad. Hair: bad (I need a haircut in a major way, and I've stopped using product in case it was making me breakout, so my curls are very sad.) Clothes: bad. Well, they're not especially bad, but I'm pretty bored of them, and I have zero money to buy the drawer full of new sweaters that I am craving. Plus all of my lady friends are such cutie-pies I feel downright dowdy in comparison. This is probably not really boyfriend-related at all, but you know. When I was with AJ I felt like a stone-fox, and now I feel very blah. Wow. This is the most I have ever written about my appearance. I hope that long-lost friends that may be reading this do not think that I am still a high school girl. Yikes!
Okay. Enough of this. I have to do homework or I will feel very guilty about watching LOST all weekend with Mikey and Josh.
Posted on October 14, 2005 | Comments (1)
basketball playing cats?!
by Willow
Yes. The cats played basketball. I saw it with my own eyes. Well, one cat anyway. He made a slamdunk! I'll write about it all when I have more time. Or maybe enough has been said on the subject.
So, I'm feeling way better. My body is feeling better, and my heart is feeling better. Just about 100% now. I don't know why I got so low, there. Just every once in a while I fall down so hard. I start to feel that all of my friends are drifting away, and the world is scary and sad. Especially post-hurricanes and earthquakes and governmental mismanagement- none of which is really new, or surprising, but still it's awful. I like to (maybe naiively) believe that humanity is incrementally moving towards Goodness, or at least Betterness. When I'm down I suspect we're not moving at all, or maybe backward. Maybe I should join a church. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Or an ethical society. It would be nice to have a community in which to talk about Civilization's Moral Progress, if there is such a thing. (Though "moral" has a lot of Republican connotations. But you know what I mean.)
In any case, I was awfully sad there, for a while. My sweet friends took care of me though. I got nice phone calls and emails and even a trip to the Home and Garden Show where the Friskee's Cats did tricks on a weird stage. Thank you, friends. Despite my fears about the fate of humanity in general, all of the actual humans that I am close to are really, really Good. And so I have hope again. Thanks.
Posted on October 9, 2005 | Comments (8)
you don't know yourself till you're low
by Willow
The last day and a half since my my "lonely girl" post have brought more crying and coughing. Sometimes hearts get heavier and heaviest, and there's nothing to do but strain under the weight. These friends are helping to gently lighten the load:
*Steve with jokes and checking ins
*Rebecca with with kisses all over my snotty, teary face
*Heather, James and Travis with their very distinctive comments on my last entry
*Mikey with an invite to be his TV buddy
*Allison (my dear Internet friend) with a long, loving email
*Another Internet friend writing a small, sweet email
*My classmates and colleagues insisting that I go home and get well, and being really understanding about the whole "crying a lot" thing (On Thursday I cried in class. Twice.)
*A package in the mail from my elderly NY friend Eddie containing a wolf shirt and a pink NYC baseball cap
It's very rare that I get hit so hard. Thank you friends, for reminding me that I have friends. I think (hope?) I'll be normal again soon.
Posted on October 8, 2005 | Comments (0)
hey there, lonely girl
by Willow
I am sick. Again. Sicker than last time. It's depressing. I've gone in late or left early from school every day this week, which makes me feel like the flakiest lady ever. And I've been on this horrible crying jag for the last 24 hours or so. It started last night when I was at Steve's and he told me that my spirit animal was played out. Today the following things made me cry:
*The First Grade team decided to go on a field trip to a farm tomorrow. The thought of standing around outside all day and trying to stop kids from picking up newts got me going. Plus I'm supposed to meet with another teacher for an assignment tomorrow, so going on a field trip would force us to meet at school on Sunday to reschedule. I do not want to go to school on Sunday! Luckily my very kind and generous mentor teacher excused me from the field trip (and told me to to go home today and sleep). Her niceness then made me cry.
*As I was leaving school I stopped by the library, where the nice librarian gave me suggestions on how to rid myself of this cold. She asked if I had anyone at home to take care of me. I don't, so I cried. (The family I live with just left for a 2 week vacation.)
*Driving home I just cried for no reason.
*At noon I had to meet two of my classmates for a project downtown, and as soon as I saw them I cried. They gave me hugs and tried to make me go home and sleep, but I just can't let sickness make me fall behind in school, so I stuck it out. We had lunch together and I cried a little more.
It had been about an hour since my last cry. I have a three hour class to get through before I can go home and lie down, and I am very seriously hoping that there are no more tears in me. I think the combination of sickness and lots of school busyness has run me down. But on a deeper level I have been feeling really disconnected from my friends lately. My most irritating (to me and others) character flaw is my need for a lot of love and reassurance. I wish that I was better at tapping an inner reservoir or whatever, but I'm not. I need a lot of feedback from my friends and family that they love me and want me in their lives, and when I don't feel it, I become the lonliest girl alive. Okay, that's an overstatement, but it does make me sad. I try to give out a lot of love and reassurance to the people I care about in order to maintain some sort of balance. And of course when things are going smoothly I need it all less. I am conscious of this flaw, and I am actively working on patching it up. But damn. I sure feel awful now. I miss my friends.
Posted on October 6, 2005 | Comments (4)
wedding story... the end
by Willow
The next morning we had a very hungover Bridesmaid Brunch at Liz's. Heather cooked eggs, and by god, it was the first time in my life that I ever enjoyed eating them! I'm not vegan, but I think eggs are weird and generally avoid them. Heather did something magical with a whisk, and next thing you know I'm eating light, fluffy goodness. I'm a new woman, folks. A new egg-eating woman.
Fast forward through lots of preparations and taking of taxis to the rehearsal dinner at 826 NYC, aka the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Store:
We ate much delicious food, and many good friends from Denver showed up, which made me pee-my-pants happy. Now. A few years ago Liz made it know that if she ever got married she wanted a choreographed dance at her reception, like in a teen movie. Ever since her engagement was announced, Heather and I have been planning for this. We watched many dance movies as "research': Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Fame, Footloose, 13 Going on 30, etc., and had many great ideas. Unfortunately, our Denver friends stole our thunder by creating just such a dance for our friend Andy's wedding just a couple of months ago. Grr! We were forced to regroup. Footloose was out, so what could take it's place? After much consideration, we decided on a Medieval Court Dance. A Knight's Tale is J's favorite movie (J is the groom, btw), so we knew it would go over well. Only how would we teach it to many guests without the bride and groom copping on? We decided to tell a lie. Or rather, I lied.
I told Liz that I had prepared a song/choral reading (the most obnoxious, flaky thing I could think of, ie Classic Willow), and that she and J needed to leave the Rehearsal Dinner for an hour so I could teach it to the guests. Yes, I made the bride and groom leave their own party. I thought Liz would be pissed in a "why does Willow always make things complicated and dumb?" way, but she actually agreed without a fuss. As soon as they were out the door, Heather and our friend Alana got busy teaching us the routine they'd created:
Note if you will, the bow and curtsy. Oh yeah, we were court dancing. 45 minutes later 12 couples had learned the routine, and we were busy cleaning when Liz and J returned to the party.
Heather and I stayed with Liz in the Bridal Suite that night, all three of us lined up in the lovely king sized bed. The next day was Wedding Day. We all got manicures and pedicures, and the persistent Korean ladies even convinced me to get my legs waxed (I haven't shaved in six years)! Liz went to get her hair done, and the rest of us started hair and makeup at the hotel. I have been experiencing a 2 month break-out on my forehead, and Kelly scared the shit out of my by insisting that I need to see a dermatologist and go on crazy meds to clear it up. Yikes!!! She also did me the great service or applying my makeup in such a way that said acne was rendered unnoticeable. Thanks, Kel!
Here's Kelly making up Liz (whose skin was flawless):
Pretty soon we were whisked into a gigantic SUV limousine, where we drank champagne and made many jokes about running away to Vegas instead. Lots of "it's not worth it, Liz! You're throwing your life away!" Funny. Once at Prospect Park we did photos and then piled back into the limo while the guests arrived. Liz was not nervous at all, which made us all glad.
Finally the Wedding Captain knocked on the window and told us it was time. Everything after that is a beautiful blur. The ceremony was intimate and very reflective of Liz and J. The officiant (who is a representative of the Brooklyn Ethical Society) read some words that Liz and J had written about each other, and J's statement made me cry. He described the funny way she shops for groceries and how she is so generous, and such a smart lady, and it was so clear that he "gets" her in the way that you hope your best friend will be gotten someday. I read a poem, Krista and her sisters sang a song, and J kissed the bride. Boom! They were married!
Here is the reception in bullet points:
* I quickly became tipsy (which is maybe why I only remember the reception in bullet points!)
* Many toasts were made, and they were all wonderful and unique, but fit together in a cool way. Mine was a little bit rambling, but no one seemed to mind. Heather talked about when she and Liz were little girls, Kelly about their adventures in college and then as roommates in New York, Krista wrote a hilarious and touching rhyming poem, and Jenny wrapped it all up with a comment on the notion of soul-mates, and how Liz and J gave her hope.
* My old swing dance partner Mitch was there, and we did a lot of fancy dancing when there was no one else on the dance floor. Mild to moderately embarrassing. Whatever.
* Abby made the wedding cake, which was comprised of 200 AMAZING cupcakes. Were they the best cupcakes I have ever eaten? Yes they were. In fact, over the next 24 hours, I ate at least ten. They were that good.
* Liz and J danced to this really sweet song called "You You You You You" by a Magnetic Fields side project, then they danced with their parents to "Dream Operator" by the Talking Heads.
Eventually I took the microphone and said something like this, "Liz, J, this is such a special night. And, I know I made a toast already, but there is so much more I need to say! Can you come up here, please? Thanks. Yeah, so I want to tell you how I feel, but I just don't have the words... I need some help... I need some friends... I need some music..." The DJ started the song, the dancers gathered on the floor, I lay down the mic, found my partner, and we all bowed and curtseyed. And then we did a court dance. And it was awesome. Liz and J were thrilled, and other guests were bewildered or amused. As soon as I get photos I'll post them. Friends, I tell you, it was a complete success.
So things wound down, Liz and J went off to the hotel, and a handful of us wound up at a bar a few blocks away. I drank more, started to fall asleep (read: pass out) on my barstool, and we headed back to Kelly's apartment where I crashed on her bed while dudes partied all around me for another few hours. It was wonderful.
Posted on October 2, 2005 | Comments (1)
the wedding story
by Willow
Okay, let me tell you a little bit about my weekend in New York. I arrived at JFK VERY early on Thursday morning. While waiting for the Air Train, I befriended a Tibetan Buddhist Monk who was touring with the Dali Lama. He said that he gets searched at nearly every airport and he tells the security people, "I am not a terrorist! I believe in peace and loving kindness!" They search him anyway. We sat together on the subway and talked about the nature of forgiveness, about teaching, about war. He asked me if I had hope, and I said sometimes I do. After an hour and half on the train together, we parted ways. We exchanged phone numbers and "good lucks," and he gave me a photo of the Dali Lama to frame. When I arrived at Liz's house I was exhausted and dirty. Heather was there (yay!), and Liz's mom, who started listing the things we needed to get done before the wedding as soon as I walked in. Heather stood behind her mouthing the words "don't worry!" I took a nap and a shower, and then Heather and I went into Manhattan to run errands. The first stop was the Chelsea Flower Market. Heather is a florist, and her shop was doing the flowers for the wedding. (In case I forget to mention this later: The flowers turned out SO well. Honestly. They were beautiful.) After tracking down the right vases and beads, we took a taxi to the Irish Pub where I used to work.
Part of me wanted to avoid the place. I worked there for a year and a half, and I was pretty depressed at the time. Waitressing and bartending 50 hours a week sucked all of my creative energy, and I worried about money constantly. There were a few girls I worked with that became close friends, and one customer that became a surrogate grandfather. These were the people I wanted to see, so I swallowed my inhibitions and made the visit. Amanda and Suzanne were working- my favorite ladies. The owner was there as well, and he gave me a warm greeting. Heather and I sat at the bar and ate veggie burgers while the girls caught me up on a year's worth of gossip. It was pretty awesome. Also sitting at the bar was this English guy I used to make out with sometimes. He's captain of the soccer team our bar sponsored, and though generally a nice guy he's prone to bouts of sullenness, which used to drive me crazy. Anyway. It was a funny coincidence that he was there, and I acted sort of bratty to him, which I now regret. I was disappointed that Eddie wasn't there, but I saw him on the street as we were leaving, which made me so happy I got a little teary. Eddie is a 70-something year old man who is an elevator operator in the apartment building next door to my Pub. He comes in for happy Hour every day after work, and he is just the sweetest man ever. Here are some facts about Eddie:
*He grew up in Hell's Kitchen, and has MANY connections to the Irish Mafia there (though he himself was never a member)
*He was an Iron Worker for many years, and helped to build skyscrapers. He and his buddies would use the crane to deliver beer to themselves after work, 50 stories in the air
*He is a perfect gentleman
*His hands are enormous and soft
*He always tipped me at least $10, and occasionally as much as $50.
Eddie and I felt very protective of each other, and would always greet each other "My friend!" We spent a Thanksgiving together, and he is one of the people I miss most when I think of New York. When I saw him on the street he was delighted. Amanda says he asks about me nearly every day. He had bought me a t-shirt with a wolf on it, and was worried that he didn't have it with him to give to me. I reassured him that I would visit again soon. He told me that I was a "real special lady," and I told him that he was my friend. I get really scared that Eddie will die before I see him again. He drinks a lot.
Okay, that was quite a digression. Sorry. After the Pub we went to the Dirty Store to buy more junk for the Bachelorette party, and then to H&M for a whirlwind shopping spree. That store is so good. We were in a hurry, so I was only able to find two shirts that fit right, but damn, they're nice. And so cheap! Completely laden with bags we hopped on the N train back to Brooklyn for the Hen Night. Here are some pics:
There are more awesome photos on my Flickr page. They're pretty tame, if you can believe it. I have plenty more on my iphoto that are Not To Be Shared! We had one of those Pure Romance parties where the lady comes and passes around a bunch of sexy products and then you can order what you want in the privacy of your living room. Sorta like a Tupperware Party, only dirtier. Afterwards we went to the East Village to sing karaoke, and drink cocktails. I realized how Portlandized I've become when I found myself exclaiming over the $6 I had to fork out for a bottle of Corona. New York will suck you dry, man! After we had sung our hearts out (I scandalized Liz's lesbian cousin with my super-raunchy performance of "Secret Agent Man") we went over to my favorite NYC bar, Niagara. Heather's brother Caleb works there, and he bought us drinks and put up with our "woo hoos" for a while. Finally, exhausted and drunk, we took a taxi back to Brooklyn.
Thus ends part one of the Wedding Story. I'll finish up tomorrow with more stories and pictures.
PART TWO SPOILER: I did not make out with any boys at the wedding.
See you tomorrow.
Posted on October 1, 2005 | Comments (1)