Buddhist Brainwashing
Posted by: lucie | From: November 25, 2005
Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but it's like brainwashing. You'd be shocked to see how much time people in this monastery spend talking about brainwashing. Seriously... I'm taking a day off of the today because it's all getting to be a bit much. I'm in the nearest town, which is called Bhouda.
The course is nothing like what I expected.
Before you start thinking I'm crazy, it's not just me. About thirty people have left so far (out of 180), many of them devoted Buddhists. Many more are still talking about leaving and pondering the decision every single day.
There isn't much time to get into it and I'm struggling already with the dilemma of how much to criticize the course on this blog - I've written easily over a hundred pages in my journal so far. For now I'll just say some basics:
It's not a meditation course.
It's not philosophical.
It's very religious.
It feels like a kind of indoctrination.
The meditation sessions feel more like hypnosis sessions.
The Lam Rim, which is kind of like the Tibetan Buddhist bible, is being presented VERY LITERALLY. There's reincarnation, definitely. There are hell realms, definitely. Karma is a kind of science with exact, predictable results, definitely.
People are bugging out. It's all a little bit nervewracking. There are people becoming die hard Buddhists in a disturbingly short period of time, and there are die hard Buddhists who intended to become monks losing faith because of the way the teachings are being presented.
Tomorrow we start taking precepts, which means just one meal a day. We're all a bit sleep deprived already because the schedule is hard core. Lots of us skip a lot of the teachings because it's simply too much. I'm a little worried that it's going to get even more Looney Tunes than it already is when people are calorie deprived as well as food deprived.
Some of the people who have gone to speak to the nun in charge of the course have been told, upon saying they're not sure this is for them, that they're arrogant, superficial and negative minded, and that they'll never find happiness outside the gates of the monastery.
I guess it will work out well for some people, but I have to be honest with you: if it wasn't a Buddhist program, people would be calling it a cult. Seriously. The way things are presented, the way you're told it's all true, the way they cut you off from the outside world and deal with doubters... it's just kind of troubling.
Like many people, I've thought about leaving... especially on days four to seven or so, when I had food poisoning and wanted to die. But once I was able to eat crackers and Sprite again I thought screw it - I'll stay. I'll watch the people, take it as a sociology lesson, ponder the nature of religion and group behavior/hysteria.
I also thought in a way it would strengthen my character. You know, if everyone is just going to get crazier and crazier - and I think they are - it'll be good for me to stick it out. Today someone challenged me on this view and suggested it would be braver to leave, and that sticking it out just for the sake of it was an ego thing. I don't know whether that's true or not.
Boy, it's pretty crazy. Sometimes it doesn't feel much like a retreat.
Tomorrow we take the precepts at 5.30am, before dawn. Then we'll see how crazy things get. I need to ponder whether my resolve to stay here is just an ego trip. Maybe the biggest lesson I have to learn in life is How To Walk Away.
Anyway... it'll all be fine. I'm glad I'm journalling so much because there's really no time to process any of this stuff. That will come later. I look forward to sharing more... though I might go back through and delete the name and some details about the monastery.
I'm definitely not doing the 7 day retreat afterwards!! I think I'll check out other meditation programs in Nepal for a freelance story. I wanted to write it about this course, but I don't think it's appropriate anymore. It's just too weird, it's different for everyone, and no one should come to this thing unless they're already a Buddhist or feel pretty confident that they want to be one. In fact, no one should come to this course without reading the Lam Rim.
Anyway, more later. Two weeks later, probably. Unless I break out early. Best wishes to everyone!!
