Swears
This is an entry that I originally wrote a couple of weeks ago while sitting in a tea-shop. Unfortunately, my laptop shut down, as it is wont to do whenever I am downloading or saving anything, purchasing anything online, or otherwise working on anything important that is due the next day. A frequent phrase in my vocabulary of late has been "my computer is totally f*cking me right now." And as the F-word figured prominently in a recent medical school experiences, I thought I might recount my lost tea-shop entry here....
- - - -
You know you are emotionally done with a rotation when you swear at your senior resident.
This happened on call last night, when, in a moment of sleep-deprived, sugar-high giddiness, I literally yelled "Fuck you, Ray!" to my resident. My senior resident. Who is grading me. The motive, I assure you, was fully honorable. He gave away one of the major plot points of Brokeback Mountain, a movie I have not seen but am planning to. I have not seen even a single movie that was nominated for any kind of award this year, an indication of my pathetic hermetic existance. It was bad enough having to spend Oscar night at the hospital, but to have the story given away? Clearly unacceptable. This would not go unreprimanded, and, in the heat of the moment, I felt the duty fell on my shoulders.
As my resident is cool, I think his response to my highly unorthadox verbal abuse was to laugh and then high-five me. In medicine, you are somtimes rewarded for showing "gumption." Apparently, yelling the F-word in a hospital at 10 pm on a sunday night sometimes falls under the gumption category. As does flat out disagreeing with your senior resident during rounds, which is something that I also did this morning. "Given that the patient is so tenuous right now, I would definitely feel uncomfortable not giving antibiotics," my resident says. "Come on, he's not THAT tenuous," says I, with bewildering, undeserved confidence. Sometimes you have to just go with your gut, and my gut tends to tell me to sent patients home without appropriate treatment.
- - - -
This whole story, apart from demonstrating that I have a potty-mouth, mainly serves to illustrate the deeply seated heirarchy of medicine. The fact that I found it blog-worthy that i disagreed with a resident, who is probably not much older than me, is pretty interesting. But you have to understand, medicine is made up of a classic chain of command, with medical students on the bottom. The way bottom.
What was also fascinating about this whole blogging in the hippy tea shop experience, was that sitting across from me in the hippy tea shop were two students of a medical field (i will assume nursing because i didn't recognize any of their text books) who were going over, outloud, the steps of a female gynecologic exam. They were reading the steps outloud from the book, and not in their best indoor library voices either. Things like "begin by spreading the labia minora and ispecting the vaginal entrance..." I actually wrote that exact phrase down, along with many other similarly amusing phrases, because what they were saying was so stunningly audible to the entire population of the tea shop. Plus, do you really need to read that business outloud? In clear, resonant voices? Does that help you? Not that you need to be ashamed of the female anatomy, but for pete's sake. It is a wee bit distracting. Folks be tryin to get their study on.
"Observe the color of the labia..." No joke.
Do you have any older, so-called non-traditional students in your med school class? I am wondering how such students fare being that they are often older than the average resident but are at the bottom rung of the medical profession.
I approve of cursing at your resident. I would never, ever curse at my professors, because I am scared of them. so I have enjoyed living vicariously through your experience.
Sometimes I will curse at Cabel... but that isn't really the same thing.
Its true that cursing at your friendly, young resident (or for that matter, your friendy, young boss who is a close personal friend) is not nearly the same as cussing at a professor. There are tons of people who I am in contact with everyday who I would NEVER swear in front of. But wouldn't it feel good, Ritchey? To be like, "Eff you, Dr. Morganstein. This treatise on medieval musicology is utterly banal. Eff you."
We do have older medical students, and I think it must be a little weird for them to have lots of youngsters in charge of them. But they also get perks, too. Like patients assume they are already doctors, or atleast know what they are doing. Young female medical students sometimes have a difficult time convincing patients that they are not nurses, and often get to field requests for more ice water and bathroom assists. One of my favorite patients, who I worked with for several weeks on my surgery rotation, thought I was a nursing student the entire time. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING A NURSING STUDENT. Its just a different focus.
The labia-discussing made me laugh, also reminded me of being in a tea-shop with my husband and then small daughter, where the next table had a loud conversation about the pros and cons of inseminating yourself with a turkey-baster. They were gay women, and planning to obtain a sample from a gay male friend. none of which was any of our business.
Also, you and I are the only people who haven't seen Brokeback mountain yet.My husband refused to take me to the cinema. Sad,eh? I've read the short story, but I'm still going to see it, as soon as the DVD comes out.
As an older medical student (37) I have yet to find a disadvantage. I suppose the late nights are a little harder to rebound from. I have learned a great deal from some really intelligent 26 year olds, and frankly I don't care who is doing the teaching, if you are good, you are good. Let's face it there are plenty of older physicians that suck at teaching. They may be great clinicians, but are disconnected from students. The other advantage is in having more life experience. I find I relate to my patients better than most twenty somethings in part because I am older. Lastly, I have seen many of the younger physicians get worked up about shit that frankly I just don't let bother me. It helps that most of us that are older are doing this because we love it and we don't necessarily see it as a work. I mean waiting for a baby to deliver, sliding your hand into a body cavity, or writing a progress note is a helluva lot easier than diggin' a ditch or operating heavy equipment. I've done them and wouldn't want to go back... ever.