No, I can't see a movie tonight. I'm saving up for a mouth guard.
I went to the dentist the other day. I had some constant tooth/jaw pain that I was convinced was caused by an untreated cavity turned dental abscess that would necessarily result in one or more root canals. Possibly a partial jaw amputation. To my great relief, there was no abscess and no impending face-altering surgery. Instead, the dentist theorized, the source of my aching pain was caused by chronic teeth clenching and grinding at night. Long story short, I might need a mouth guard. The mouth guard recommended by my dentist costs $650.
I repeat, THE MOUTH GUARD COSTS SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS.
This, obviously, brings to mind several pertinent questions:
1. How could it possibly cost this much money?
2. Is it made of solid gold?
3. Does it prevent cancer?
4. Will it allow me to communicate telepathically or become invisible?
If not, I demand to know why they think I should pay that much money.
Naturally, my insurance won't cover a cent of it. My first instinct is to invest in a sports mouth gaurd instead. One of those bulky ones that comes solely in black or fluorescent yellow and can be purchased for $9.99 at Rite-Aid. That'll show 'em. Take that, capitalistic dental patriarchy! Your oppressive expensive mouth guard ways will be defeated by the blinding light of justice emitted by my fluorescent yellow soccer guard!
Just in case, though, my family should be warned not to expect any Christmas presents this year. They will have to content themselves with the knowedge of my improved dental health. Again.
iif you do have to drop a load of cash, please purchase a grill.
I had the same problem -- mine was about $200. I might shop around, if I were you. Also, tell your dentist that he/she is full of it.
I think your dentist may have his/her eye on a yacht, or a vacation home. I think your dentist is trying to ruin Christmas.
oh no!!! money money money! there is no way it could cost that much! did you discuss other options with your dentist? i'd sleep with a sock in my mouth before i'd pay 650 for a guard. shit, i am buying prescription safety glasses this week, just to save the extra 50 it would cost for normal glasses.
Have you considered buying one of the mouth
guards that people use when they play football.
Heat it up and make it fit your teeth better.
I don't know if it would work, but I think
these things cost about nine dollars.
search froogle.google.com for "mouth guard"
Wait, there was a mouth guard for $3.45
In addition to a $3-$10 dollar "mouth guard"
on froogle.google.com, I found another type
of mouth guard under "dental mouth guard"
in the $20-$70 dollar range. I hope you get
this message as I don't see my posts.
Yaahooo! You can buy a "Night Guard Dental
Protector" at Walgreens for $24.99. Ahhh
a medium size that is ... So, if you have
a big mouth ... ahhh buy the mouth guard at
Walgreen's on the corner near Freddy's :)
you post a problem on your blog...YOU GET SOLUTIONS.
I feel your pain, dude. As you know, I have to wear a retainer every night for the rest of my life. But they wear out, Fiona. They wear out. And I don't think my mom's going to pay for it the next time it does. I urge Walgreen's.
I also recommend the sportGard. I have the same grinding problem; I had a custom-built bite guard made, fitted to my exact dental arrangements, but the dentist himself said we could have boiled a plastic guard, bit down to shape, and had at it.
You can always try it out and see if that helps! I think the potential advantage of the real bite guard is that it's more comfortable, but having an extra $600 could potentially be even more comfortable.
Dude, that is effing ridic. I had the same situation, where I thought I had finally gotten my first cavity. It turned out that I grind my teeth. I got a really nice mouth guard (flexible, not too much extra plastic) for in the $200s. Tell them to eff off.
I AM OFFICIALLY TELLING HIM TO EFF OFF! You guys are amazing. Walgreens, here I come.
An abscess is a collection of pus that has accumulated in a cavity formed by the tissue on the basis of an infectious process. WBR LeoP