Crotchety Old Men
I just got done giving the weekly autopsy presentation. Every Thursday morning, the resident/student on the autopsy rotation presents one of the interesting cases of the preceding week. This is a one hour presentation that is attented by the pathology staff on service, the dean of the department, various interested doctors and students, and this group of crotchety old white haired men. These guys are retired doctors - and we're talking RETIRED, like 75-80 year olds - who come every week without fail to comment on the cases. Now, these gentlemen are for the most part very nice, and very interested, and clearly they are very smart with a lot of experience. Its kind of awesome that they make their way up here every week.
Anyway. So my presentation. It was an old lady who died after she clotted off her bowel. It contains numerous images of her organs, as well as microscopic pictures, plus facts and research and references - enough to fill pretty much a whole hour. I will say that I have spent the last few days working on it, and yesterday, the day that I wanted to devote to polishing and honing, was spent attending lecture, assisting on two fetal autopsies, and having very long convetsations with the IT guys regarding why my presentation was not opening.
Turns out it had been "corrupted" when I saved it on the "network." Great. Note to self: save multiple copies in as many places you can think of.
So, my presentation. It contained the following joke: "So the internist said that her hypertension, hypercholesteremia, and diabetes were "well controlled" (with two-fingered hand motions) and she hadn't had a cardiac or cerebral event since 2002, so she was deemed to be a LOW RISK SURGICAL CANDIDATE. Famous last words!" Killer.
So anyway, I am doing my presentation. The audience is riveted. I start fielding questions from the crotchety old men. One of our exchanges goes like this: Crotchety old man (COM): "what is that in that artery? Is that a thrombus?" Me: "Well, we didn't think so. Is it a thrombus that formed in vivo, or could it be a clot that formed after death?" (as in, I'm putting it up for discussion). COM: "I ask the questions." I ASK THE QUESTIONS! Who says that? I can't put a question out to my experienced audience during my presentation? Me, with 1 and a half months experience in autopsy, and you with like 70 years? Cool. Asshole.
Anyway. It went fine. It was not corrupted or "fragged" at any point. And most of the COM's thanked me and said I did a nice job. Except for Dr. I Ask The Questions. Who is a big jerk. Maybe he just felt intimidated by my impressive wielding of terms such as "heparin induced thrombocytopenia" and "hepatic extraamedullary hematopoeisis". Ask me a question about that! Jerk.
Just think, in like 53 years or so some young medical student will be complaining about the crotchety old women who critiqued her presentation and it will be YOU!
That'll be rich! Then you can really sock it to those whippersnappers! (know-it-all upstarts, think thEY can ask a question... I aughta hypoglauclaviate THEir streptomoleculus! see how they like Them apples...)
When I am a 110 year old retired doctor, I will not be jerk hole. I will be nice and respectful to the next generation of doctors, and I will do everything in my power to encourage them in their intellectual pursuits. I will, however, try to impress them with my vast wealth of knowledge, whenever possible. And completely without modesty.
but by then everything will be automated and done by robots!! THEN WHO WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS?
Oh my God, you guys! FIONA RITCHEY! That's the name of that woman with the Celtic music show on NPR! You are SO FAMOUS!
Fiona,
My son Andrew Ross passed your site on to me. I started with the most recent entry, and I really enjoyed it. I am a 58 yo WM pathologist who teaches at Wake Forest and UNC-Chapel Hill, and I try really, really hard not to be a COM; but I probably am. I hate autopsies by the way and never attend that conference. Also, I have a pact with a colleague. If we ever see each other at what we call the Old Guys Conference after the day we retire; we will shoot to kill.
All of medicine needs a fresh, young, diverse approach; I am glad that you here to help do it.
PS. If you are interested in applying for residency at UNC or Wake Forest, contact me.
oh man, Fiona, you are so making awesome contacts and becoming a world famous med student, even as famous as the Nintendo/epilepsy guy. That is so legit, Dr. Ross.
Who knew that that blogging could help foward my career!
Dr. Ross, I really appreciate your comments. And don't worry, unless you are 80, you are too young to be a COM. But its nice to know that there are doctors out there who are conscious of such things, and are willing to risk death to maintain some semblance of professional dignity. :)
Oh, and Andrew is interviewing here at OHSU tomorrow! I'm sure he will do great. Hopefully I'll be able to take a break from dissecting fetal hearts to hang out with him for a bit.
Ah, dissecting fetal hearts. How I love thee.
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