So, I had my first

So, I had my first exam on Monday. "Aaaah... the first test of medical school. I remember it well" (that's what I'll say in 10 years when Im a successful doctor person). That fateful day, when mettle is tested and confidence is shattered and really smart people realize that there are other really smart people out there who are actually smarter than them and it starts to get under their skin and drive them crazy until they lose all sense of self worth. Just kidding. But it was real hard, though. I studied A LOT. I studied ALL WEEKEND. Maybe that wasn't clear from my past entries, but I STUDY ALL THE TIME. Its what I do now. I study. And when I have a test, I study more. And then I take the test and realize that actually, I could have used some more studyin', 'cause that was freaking hard! (Then I go out with a bunch of other people who are also trying not to freak out and I get ever so slightly drunk on amarretto sours and play the best pool of my life).

And then I get the test back yesterday......... and I get ...... a 96! I get honors on the first test of medical school! I feel pretty good about that. Pretty damn good. What does it mean, though? That i dont have to worry about this medical school thing and i should study less and drink more amarretto sours? No. It still means I have to study all the time. It just means that I have something to live up to for all the tests to come - my own high standards. I cant slack off now, because if i don't do as well next time i will feel like i let myself down, that im not living up to my potential. Being a perfectionist sucks sometimes.

The first test was on the anatomy of the back, shoulders, arms,and hands, the first 8 weeks of embryology and some radiology thrown in to make things interesting. I have a stack of flash cards 1 1/2 inches thick. Each card contains one muscle- its origin, its insertion, its innervation, and its action. I have to know all of them. Do you have any idea how many muscles are in the forearm? A lot. They are all very skinny and they all attach to the bone in sliiiiightly different places and do sliiiiightly different things. It is all quite confusing. But its cool in the lab when you can pull on the flexor pollicis longus tendon and watch the thumb move.

The human body is simply fascinating. Its amazing. Its incredible that it all works so well most of the time for most people. Even though I've only been learning about it for a couple of weeks, I feel that Im begining to understand some of the mystery. I kind of keep falling asleep during lecture, but then i get down to anatomy lab and everything kind of comes together. Well, either it comes together, or it makes me feel completely unprepared and overwhelmed, but generally it is pretty awe-inspiring to learn about the body from the inside out.

Today I held a human heart in my hand. A tiny heart. I cut it open. I traced the flow of blood and named all of the structures. Yesterday I cut that tiny heart out of the mediastinum. The day before that I held a pair of human lungs in my hands. I traced the flow of air and named all of the structures. On tuesday i used a "bone saw" to cut off the ribcage.

Tip #4 - don't be afraid of the bone saw. Its fun. Be confident, firm, and perceptive. The feeling of cutting through bone is one you won't forget. And it makes you feel like you can do anything.

Tip #5 - when there is a really awesome spanish movie playing at Cinema 21 by your house called "Lucia y el sexo," go see it even though you didn't finish studying the innervation of the heart. Its a great movie, thursday was its last day there, and you might just run into your good friends Joy and Martin at the theater, and then invite them back to your apartment to look at your bone box. Its worth it! The nerves of the heart ain't going nowhere.

Tip #6 - always show up atleast 5 minutes late for lecture in the morning. That way, when you get there and the hall is completely filled, you can just sit on the steps for the next hour and 55 minutes and take notes on your knee. Oh.... wait.
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