I have been having all

I have been having all these visions lately of my sister and brother and I all opening a practice together. Garlich, Garlich, and Garlich Clinic. My sister Joanne is studying pscychology and is planning on a career in counseling, and my brother Michael is planning on being a physical therapist. We could all go in on a joint practice, and it would be like "Total Care - Health Care for the Whole Human", cause we would be able attack the idea of health maintance from many sides - emotional care, physical treatment, and recovery. I think I might be high on mate, because I honestly just spent about 10 minutes infront of the bathroom mirror, going through an television interview about the exciting new All Garlich Family Clinic - probably an amusing fluff piece on the evening news. Free advertising. Yes, I was actually speaking outloud. Good thing mike is deeply engaged in rescuing hostages on the computer.

But I was planning what our waiting room would be like, with cool thought-provoking magazines like Colors and Giant Robot, a little health library, and photos on the walls of me and michael and joanne as kids. The patients might get a kick out of that. And we would have carefully-selected art on the walls - none of that soothing, mass-produced, bland pastel water color shit that you normally get. Then we could all hang out and do our charting in a common room, and then we would all go out for beer and maybe stop by and visit Nana, who would be so proud of having her successful grandkids on the evening news. Then I would most likely have to go back to the clinic to finish up, where I would stay til 11 pm taking pages from various important people. That part kind of sucks, but the rest would be awesome. Maybe I should tell those guys about the plan. They should probably start saving money to pay for our malpractice insurance. If we're going to compete with the HMO's, we're gonna need a lot of capital. Too bad there are no rich uncles in the family. Most of my relatives in the US are all either teachers or farmers or both - not exactly what you would call "big money."

Yikes. I really think i had a lot of mate. (FYI yerba mate is a southamerican dry leaf "tea" that is drunken out of a gourd. It contains a stereoisomer of caffeine called mateine, which provides many of the stimulant properties of caffeine, without a lot of the negative effects. My theory is that it binds slightly differently to adenosine receptors at the neural synapses. It is good. I drink it when i need to stay up late studying. Like tonight.)

Yipee! I have been studying all day! The fact that it hasn't been that bad is a little worrisome.

I have learned more in the past month than I ever could have imagined. It is incredible. I now know words like "superior posterior pancreaticoduodenal artery." That's a real thing and I know where it is!! I was showing off my new vocabulary at Scott's birthday party last night. I'm not sure if all the people i said it to were really impressed, or just really weirded out and uncomfortable. I have to watch that.

Updates:
- 2 of my plants are dying. I dont really know why. I am trying to resucitate them by putting them next to my little herbs, which are sprouting quite nicely.
- Now have a connection at Trilogy (the one independent video store in NW). This cool guy named Toussant (houngh houngh houngh... i have a french name, but not a french accent) is a friend of one of my med school peeps - and hooked us up with free dvd rentals! Score!
- My "friend" Erica, who you may remember was the only person i knew going into OHSU, now barely talks to me even though we are lab partners, because she has become conjoined to her new bestest best friend Lani. They seriously can't even go to the bathroom without eachother, much less help with the dissection. Im just pretending to be bitter - i'm really just pretty amused by the situation. THey are both really nice people, so its weird when they ignore other really nice people.
- I fondled a dead man's penis yesterday, and identified the contents of his scrotum. I know now many things about balls.

Let's see... Med School tips:

Tip #7 - if you are looking for the gallbladder - it is bright green. You will find it.

Tip #8 - try to get a cold when you get to the part of anatomy lab wher you dissect the abdominal viscera - things get really smelly up in there. Bile smells pretty raunch, and heaven help you if you accidentally nick part of the colon. Look out. If you dont manage to get a cold, consider wearing a mask (although you might be percieved as a wuss) and definitely double glove at this point even if you normally don't. It is worth it.

Tip #9 - even though the point of anatomy is basically just to learn the name of things and where they are and what they connect to, spend a little extra time to figure out what the function is. You might not be tested on it, but it makes soooo much more sense if you know *why* things do what they do and are where they are. Funny that.

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