The first two weeks of June, school being out, my globetrotting lecture schedule being completed, I decided to take some time off. Time for reflecting on this fascinating experiment of entering the blog world. Time for soothing my harried, overly intellectually rigorous, somewhat chaotic soul after a demanding series of events at which I've barely hinted on the blog. Time for... well, you get the point. I booked June 6-10 at an insight meditation retreat at a Buddhist center near my home, thinking that the mindfulness and silence would clear my head. In fact, it only made me notice how many things I have in my head and how frightfully active they are at all hours of the day and night. Twittering, chattering, talking, chirping, whirling, jumping things are in my head. Also, there was too much green tea. So I left a little early, after lunch on June the 8th. It took me about three days to sleep the whole thing off. My next idea was to take a long walk by the water, and I found this a much more fruitful pursuit than vipassana meditation. As I looked at the gentle rhythms of nature unfolding before me, and my thighs moving in a soothing, regular pattern, I felt at peace, more sure of my goals and dreams. I began to see what I needed to do next. Accordingly I came away from this walk with the following resolutions for the summer: 1. Eat more ice cream. Because you might die at any time. And ice cream is as strong as death. (I began to implement this resolution on June 18th at a location all my insider Portland readers will immediately be able to guess.) 2. Stop dropping so many names on my personal weblog. It is making me look as if I want to demonstrate how many literary and artistic luminaries I know, have bathed in honey with, etc. etc. Who cares if you got in a fistfight with Nicholas Bourriaud, Matthew? Who cares if you met Ken Kesey and his friend "Merry Prankster," whatever the hell that means, even if Ken has in fact been dead since 2001? Who cares if you get advised on clothing by William Leith instead of the guy at J.C Penney's? Who cares if you saw "Zoo" with its writer Charles Mudede and its director Robinson Devor? A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THESE THINGS. Besides, as a person of high writerly stature myself, I need to take to heart the concept of "noblesse oblige." I resolve to begin behaving about my dazzling international array of professional connections the way a Boston Brahmin does about his vast personal fortune: simple, unassuming, almost austere. I need to begin conceptualizing my artistic life more pragmatically and with understated severity. Like, as a white buttondown broadcloath shirt. Made by L. L. Bean. And perhaps purchased at 20$ off. Even though I could afford to pay full price or in fact buy the factory in Mali where the shirts are produced by hapless child laborers who might lose a finger at any moment. 3. Get more involved in protesting sweatshops (actually I just added that one right now) 4. WIN THE$50,000 JACKPOT ON NATIONAL BINGO NIGHT ONE FRIDAY. Download maybe 50-60 sets of cards and just win the fucking thing. I have become mesmerized by that Indian man whose job is to say "Noooo Bingoooo" and wave his arm as if he were scattering genetically modified Monsanto cumin seed across a dusty field outside Mumbai. I must win National Bingo Night, or seriously, somebody is going to get hurt. 5. Just go ahead and do this: Tell Urban Honking what I have been secretly wanting to say for some time now, that their color scheme looks like a Target bathroom textiles aisle. I resolve to demand a more edgy scheme that connects well with the provocative word "Honking" and also communicates subtle enthusiasm for universal health care. I called on June 19 for an appointment with their CEO, COO, and CFO and I will be presenting this critique to them in two days from now. 6. Go to Chicago and see the Hopper exhibit. That does not count as name-dropping because I never knew Hopper. Meditate especially on his works "Nighthawks" and "Chop Suey." While in town, eat authentic Mexican at Rick Bayless' Frontera Grill. That also does not count as name-dropping because he just happens to be the chef of the Frontera Grill and that's where I want to eat. Authentic Mexican such as Frontera Grill serves is not at all like Tex-Mex. It includes corn fungus, for one thing, and you aren't going to see any self-respecting Texan eating any black engorged corn fungus. Having made these six life-changing resolutions, I then flew to Chicago to see the Mariners play the Cubs in a three night stand at Wrigley Field. (The Hopper exhibition isn't there yet; another time.) Seattle won the first night, but the Cubs took the last two. Raul Ibanez had a really great night at the Thursday game, where an adopted Korean child threw up on my shoe from the sheer excitement of witnessing The Great American Passtime. Then, of course, it was straight home so I could make it in time to watch "National Bingo Night" on NBC. Nooo Bingooo! Nooooooo Bingoooooooooo! NOOOOOOOO BINGOOOOOOOOOO!
Comments (10)
Dear Mr Stadler,
I'v just finished reading 'Allan Stein'.
I'm going to remember it as one of the best reading experiments of my life as a reader and a secret boy lover (yes, secret; I am married with two kids. we live in France - just out of Paris)- along with 'Embrace' by Mark Behr and 'The coming storm' by Paul Russell.
Allen's and Stephan's characters left me fascinated and I loved Matthew too. needless to say how well written it is - really something else, refined and stylish you can't ask more.
So I was on the net searching to learn more about you and your work and it brought me here to your blog that i'm sure to follow regularly from now on. I'll try to find and read your previous books while looking forward for the next one that Hopefully will stay close to the same spirit.
I wanted most of all to thank you for the position you have publicly taken on this highly taboo subject of man-boy love, which means a lot of courage and risk taking from your behalf.
It's people like you who may contribute in changing this stupid society wheres people like me live daily a great frustration and suffering; I think you must know what I'm talking about.
Thank you,
David
Posted by David Hecht | June 20, 2007 4:41 AM
Posted on June 20, 2007 04:41
This was the most pretentious bit of writing I have ever seen; every essayist, poet and noble writer in history is cringing and spitting in a ditch.
Posted by Lester | June 22, 2007 1:16 PM
Posted on June 22, 2007 13:16
this is the most pretentious bit of snot i've ever read.
When the next bit dribbles out your nose, please snuff and huck it into a ditch. the general "impoverished" public need not hear about your woes of knowing too many people, or being able to own sweatshops in indonesia as if they were pennies on the street.
Posted by sylvia | June 22, 2007 1:22 PM
Posted on June 22, 2007 13:22
Thank you for your comments. I'm not sure I can address any of the problems you cite, but I'll look into it and see what I can do. And thanks for reading!
Posted by Matthew Stadler | June 22, 2007 1:41 PM
Posted on June 22, 2007 13:41
so, after the last weblog comment conversation, did you decide to ditch the turk and write this one yourself, or did you enlist an actual friend to write this one?
oh, and i am going to guess that the place you ate ice cream at is the stone cold steve creamery? on hawthorne?? !?
Posted by oona o'neill | June 23, 2007 8:32 AM
Posted on June 23, 2007 08:32
Dear Oona,
Thanks for reading! On this website I only use the Turk. I'm not interested in writing it myself. Looking at my Turk transaction records I see that the most recent HIT was completed by Turk user #ASB64SFAX3BZL, who lists herself as "Beth Maynard." I don't know anyone by that name, but it's possible Turk users have pseudonyms. I'm not sure. I don't see Beth on any earlier HITs, which recently have been taken by Rahul Dhingra, Divisio Claudio, and Kishan Rao. Beth, are you out there? Who are you?
Thank you for taking an interest in my personal weblog,
Matthew
Posted by Matthew Stadler | June 23, 2007 8:44 AM
Posted on June 23, 2007 08:44
matthew,
thanks for the very detailed info! divisio claudio sounds like he would be a fun conversationalist. i guess i asked that question because this person "beth" seems to really have invested some significant time into your previous posts. new nostalgia. i dont want to bother you too much about your new artform here, but i was wondering what the drawbacks of/reasons for not giving these writers stipulations anymore? are you more pleased with your personal weblog now?
keep it up!
your loyal fans,
oon and chas
Posted by oona o'neill and charlie chaplin | June 23, 2007 11:50 AM
Posted on June 23, 2007 11:50
Dear Mr. Matthew
Hopefully I can catch you before you head to sunnier climes.
You probably don't remember a young, awkward kid from Nathan Hale, but I can still recall that guy who brightened up Mrs. Wetterauer's horribly intellectual English class.
I was surprised to find your name continually popping up in my new home-town's broadsheet. And since we share such a long history (i.e. you have now freakin clue who I am) I thought I'd drop you a line.
Oh yeah, and since you got me on this crazy writing "career" which has spawned one novel thus far, I thought I should remind you that by the Asian code of duty, you are responsible for getting it published.
;-)
Cheers,
Jake F.
Posted by Jake Faris | June 28, 2007 1:10 PM
Posted on June 28, 2007 13:10
Wonderful blog my friend.
Posted by Tosh Berman | July 8, 2007 8:16 AM
Posted on July 8, 2007 08:16
I'm very glad that the weblog is of interest to readers. To address Oona and Chas, I am happy that the Mechanical Turk HITs are more generic now. I do not want to guide the writers toward specific plot turns.
In the long run, I am trying to equip the blog to function independently of me. At the outset, I specified general "plot points" when I posted calls for entries (HITs) on the Mechanical Turk. For example, I might specify "make me travel to a world capital" or "have me help poor children" or "have me quote Proust" in the course of a weblog entry. I was worried that the weblog might become patternless or absurd, so I gave general guidelines to establish a story that I liked.
Now that this story is evident in the weblog itself, my Mechanical Turk HITs only specify the dates to be covered and the length of the entry (750 - 1000 words). I also require the writer to read at least four previous entries on my personal weblog; the HIT asks the writer to send the names of four people mentioned in previous entries, as proof that he or she has read the site.
This generic, general HIT is an intermediary step toward the blog's complete autonomy from me. I would like the blog to be fully automated so that it can go on after I die. To that end, I am working with Mikey Merrill and Jona Bechtolt (at Urban Honking) to fully automate the simple steps that make my personal weblog. It will be easy to make a generic HIT that posts itself on a regular weekly sschedule; fairly easy, too, to automate the "harvesting" of the result and the post to my personal weblog.
The most challenging part is to automate the payment system. I pay $10 per blog entry. Mikey Merrill has suggested I use Google Ads to pay for the blog entries, but that might slow down the pace of posting. If anyone has a suggestion for ways we can generate $10/week on the personal weblog site and then automate transfer of the funds so that the Mechanical Turk HITs are paid off by the site's income, we will be a big step closer to creating a perpetual personal weblog machine.
And to Jake, a big "hello!" I remember you and the class very well. I'm sorry that I am no longer an editor at a major independent press, but I wish you luck pursuing publication. Are you still in touch with others from that class? Lincoln, Lincoln someoneorother? Whatever happened to him?
Posted by Matthew Stadler | July 12, 2007 8:59 AM
Posted on July 12, 2007 08:59