Peanut Chews

You can't get Peanut Chews in Denver. Apparently, they are an east coast thing, even though they are distributed by Just Born, which runs the Peep empire and thus shouldn't have any problems shipping candy nationwide. It could be that unlike Peeps, which have a loyal following, nobody much cares for Peanut Chews. I like them okay, but most people would not go out of their way to purchase them. Upon tasting them for the first time, Willow pronounced them gross. "Like some health candy my hippie mom would try to trick me into eating when I was little." But J--he loves them.

So there were a mixture of emotions when we left New York and arrived in Denver: first sadness at having left the land of a million Peanut Chews, and then euphoria at discovering an unlikely stock of them in our local grocery store. They depleted with each visit, until they were all gone. J contends that he was not the one to eat them all, but let's be honest here.

This sinking knowledge that Peanut Chews are not to be had in the Rocky Mountains does not dissuade us from looking for them everywhere we go. The originals have a distinctive red packaging that catches your eye, but then the packaging looks similar to Take 5 bars or Bit-O-Honey (which, by the way, he also loves. And Mary Janes. He is also a 95-year old Florida retiree), so we are mostly unsuccessful.

Awhile ago, we were in 7-11, in search of the elusive banana Runts. Even though we were on a specific, banana-candy mission, I couldn't help but look for the red packaging I'm now programmed to target. My eye caught something at the bottom, but it was just a box of some gross sounding cookie/candy monstrosity. The name was so gross (something like SmashRidicuCrunch) that I told J he should get one. He played along, bending down and sticking his hand in the box. He emerged with a Peanut Chew in his hand. There were no other signs of the Peanut Chews anywhere in the store.

The only conclusion I could come up with was that time travel will indeed be invented. And when I have access to it, apparently the best trick I will come up with will be to venture back to that exact moment and plant a Peanut Chew for J to discover. Just ordering some online is way too predictable.