My nap

I am a bit distraught about the new Harry Potter book being leaked online. This makes me believe people will be gloaty about knowing the ending and key plot points and they won't be able to keep their big secret-spilling mouths/blogs shut. Inspired by Heather, I'm actually rereading all the books now so I'll be super caught up when I get around to the last book. But seriously: I will punch some people in the face if they ruin 6 torturous years of suspense for me. IN THE FACE.

It was off to the dentist for me this morning. Did I tell you I got a little chip in my front tooth the night I was leaving for New York? Well I did. It was after a long, stressful day and before I had packed and after biting down on a fork and there might have been some frazzled tears involved. There is nothing that will make you feel like a hillbilly faster than a chipped tooth. The dentist said he could fix it and that the giant gold tooth was optional. The hygienist was the stereotypical chatty type, where she was literally asking me questions while instruments were being jammed in my gums. I choked out a couple answers before realizing that while she was technically asking questions, she wasn't really waiting for responses. I imagined what I was experiencing was less a conversation and more her inner monologue let loose.

But here is what killed me: she kept referring to my cleaning as a "nap." As in, "Are you ready for your little nap?" Which frankly confused the hell out of me. Did she expect me to close my eyes? Does anyone close their eyes during a cleaning? I brushed it off, but then her stomach grumbled and she laughed and said, "Oh, ha ha, I'm going to keep you awake from your nap!" I guess in a way, referring to a process where one must recline in a weird chair and submit to a half hour of uncomfortable poking and prodding in one's mouth as a "nap" is funny in its own bizarre, creepy way. Like calling your paper-wrapped alcohol bottle your "medicine."

I fear we are treading into boring dentist story territory, but real quick: I found out that the bump on the roof of my mouth is something only some people have. It's genetic! Like attached earlobes. And all this time I thought everyone had the same inside of the mouth as me.