We could have playdates

I think you collectively (with some hints) got all the celebrities I (J) cut up and glued together. To recap, the correct answers are:

Hair: Trump
Body: Nicole Richie
Eyes: Mary-Kate Olsen
Eyebrows: Zach Braff
Cheeks: Maggie Gyllenhaal
Nose: Owen Wilson
Mouth: Jon Heder (aka Napoleon Dynamite)
Chin: Reese Witherspoon

Sweet.

Look, I understand that if you're an apprentice tattoo artist, you have to practice in order to get better. But seriously, who are these suckers that are letting Yoji tattoo them? If there is a time where I would want the absolute best, most qualified person on the job, it would be when there was someone coming at me with sharp tools to make a permanent alteration on my body. That is not a time to cut corners or feel sorry for an apprentice tattoo artist. Luckily, they found some waifish, spacey girl who wanted something terrible like a human heart with a star on it and also nails jammed in there. I have a sad feeling like there will always be waifish girls out there willing to let an apprentice tattoo artist go at 'em for a chance to be on a television show. I just hope she's out of it enough that she never ever realizes that the shading is so bad on the nails that it looks like the heart is full of black, cancerous holes. That's what I hope.

I mentioned to J that I, like the rest of the nation, was very concerned about Britney. Specifically, it was this report that after shaving her head, she wandered alone into a nightclub where some stranger was having a karaoke birthday party, and no one even noticed her. She apparently spent most of her time "sitting alone in a booth." That would be a sad scenario for anyone! Who doesn't like to be talked to when the go to a party? Even a stranger's party you've crashed by yourself. J said he'd like to think that if she'd wandered into one of our friends' parties, we would have noticed and talked to her, eventually talking her down from her ledge of crazy. Does everyone feel like this? That if only you could talk to her for a little while, she'd be better? Maybe another mass delusion on our part.

I spent the evening making little green tea almond cookies to take to tonight's Chinese New Year-themed cooking club. I spent the week before worrying that matcha, the green tea powder used in the cookies, is really of Japanese origin and that it would be an insulting treat to bring. J insisted that they are almond cookies, which are traditional during Chinese New Year celebrations, and anyways it's supposed to be a riff on a theme, and double anyways who is going to be insulted? That doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm bringing a pot of matzah ball soup with pork.