Say Cheese
You know how much I trust you? I'm going to show you something which MAY BE the worst picture ever taken of me for an official purpose. Our office building recently implemented security measures which requires us to have an ID card to enter and leave after hours. So, the dreaded office ID photo loomed. Now, it may be that no one ever takes good work photo ID pictures, but there is certainly a scale ranging from "Yikes, you sure are redder and more blotchy than usual" all the way to "Caught mid-sneeze in florescent lighting." And things weren't looking good from the beginning: both my boss and coworker came back with dreadful pictures and warned me about it. So I took precautions, by fixing my hair on the elevator down, making sure I didn't have anything astray, etc. I knew going in I was going to give my passport/drivers license smile. Sorta demure, completely unscrewupable.
I was greeted by a nice enough woman (beware the devil in a cute skirt) and she set me up against the white wall. I prepared my safety smile while she set up the camera. Then she hit me with her secret evil weapon. "Say cheese!" she sang out. Which completely caught me off guard, because when someone says "Say cheese!" you have to say cheese. It's some sort of picture etiquette, especially if you're alone and not saying cheese would be weird and awkward. So, I said, "Cheese" (no exclamation point) and she goddamn took my picture in the middle of the word. I said, "Oh, I think you took the picture in the middle of me saying that..." and she glanced at the preview and said, "Oh no, it's fine."
Two days later, I received my card and fully appreciated how truly spiteful the picture taker really was. People, this is not fine:
Those splotches and discoloration were like EXTRA BONUS features.
Oh, that's brilliant! The best part is, you really do look like you're in the middle of saying "cheese." You also look angry. are you mad at the cheese?
Oh, that's brilliant! The best part is, you really do look like you're in the middle of saying "cheese." You also look angry. are you mad at the cheese?
At least your picture looks liek a real photograph. Ours are all pixellated so we look like anime versions of ourselves.
No, I'm mad that she messed me up by saying, "Say cheese!" Actually all this cheese talk is making pizza sound really good.
That isn't even bad! You must be quite the photogenic one. I am DREADING getting my Non-driver ID (just like a driver's license, for the nondrivey!) renewed. In all these types of pictures, my dark circles look like moon craters. If you look close, you can even see little astronauts walking around there.
I think you look like a vixen.
Honey, I really don't think this is a bad photo at all. It does look like you're saying "cheese," though which has its merits.
It sort of looks like you're giving a really sarcastic smile, which makes you seem like a badass.
I once had pictures taken for my greencard, and the photographer made this sad attempt at flirting with me (I think). Knowing that the pictures were for the INS, he asked "So, do you have a boyfriend over here?" And right after that, he pulled the trigger, perfectly capturing my mix of amusement, surprise, and repulsion.
Hey, only the best for my 10-year greencard!
i agree with sally, you totally look like you are saying, "f all this security bullshit, i'm not smiling, this is all you bitches are getting."
the hair does look great though. good thing for pre-emptive smoothings.
Kids, don't put your fingers near Liz's mouth. She looks ready to bite.
Yeah, not your best photographic presence, but not horrible either. There's gotta be a website out there that posts horrible ID pics and allows people to vote on them. If there is, yours would get maybe a 7 out of 10 (Is 10 good or bad? Hmmmm.). I've got some ID pics that I intentionally screwed up. Yeah, take THAT Costco!