Awesome, Y'all

Whew, watching that Britney Spears interview was EXHAUSTING! First I had to email/call all my good celebrity gossip peeps and make sure they were fully tuned in to give Matt Lauer and Brit their undivided attention for an hour. Then, my brain practically lit itself on fire trying to parse all the awkward phrasing and exclamations like, "How far along am I? I really don't know...six, seven months?" and "Funny people are hilarious!" Not to mention the sheer effort it took for me to wrap my head around the fact that this woman, this very rich woman who has access to all the stylists and make up artists and press coaches a person could ever want, was wearing Courtney Love's hair, Bonnie Bell blush, a clump of mascara on her fake eyelashes, and boobs. You want the paparazzi to leave you alone? Stop being a living, stumbling, gum chewing, slack-jawed train wreck.

Y'all.

But anyway, I was tired before the interview. It just kinda sealed the deal. Our office is closed for a couple days while we do some renovations, so I had the day off. I thought I would try to go to the gym, but it turns out I had a much better workout routine built right into my day. I call it the "Going shopping, cooking, cleaning, no car workout." If you, too, want a fabulous all day workout, you can follow what I did today:

Start the day off by cleaning the living room.
This won't take too long, so you can stop for some breakfast and tea afterwards.
You have a long day ahead of you, so it's good to get in the right frame of mind.
Watch the end of "Saved by the Bell," the one where Jessie gives Zach dancing lessons and Screech and Lisa win the dance competition by doing "The Sprain."
Watch series finale of "Dawson's Creek," the one where Jen dies.
Cry a little, because she leaves behind her BABY! And her last glance is at her grandma sleeping in the sun dusted hospital room.
Enough of that.
Clean out cupboards. Throw away all that old dried pasta, because you can buy more if you really want, for like a dollar.
Ooo, except for maybe those tiny pasta bow ties you bought for soup two years ago! Cute!
Clean out fridge, do dishes, take out trash.
Walk to subway and head to Herald Square.
H&M!
It will be a good shopping day so walk around the store slowly for about an hour holding a million pieces of clothing.
Wait in line holding clothing for many minutes.
Wait.
Try on clothes.
Cute!
It's a workout for your wallet, too. Heeey!
Just kidding, H&M is cheap.
Walk to your office, which is somewhat out of your way, carrying bag of clothes.
Check in with construction people. Cool.
Walk to Union Square.
Try to buy some hair stuff at Sephora but get overwhelmed, because: too much stuff! And also: none of these salespeople have good hair!
Try unsuccessfully to find shoes and DSW. Why no gold flats? Whyyyy?
Enter Whole Foods and wind your way through your grocery list, buying all things unavailable at shitty ghetto supermarket near home.
Board subway with 3 huge, heavy bags. Run a little to catch it. Walk (uphill) home.
Break! Watch "Ellen" for 10 minutes. Eat crackers. Get really embarrassed for the world watching her dance.
Realize you need other stuff for BBQ tomorrow.
Walk to shitty ghetto grocery store.
Buy whole store. Walk home with four heavy bags.
Make dinner. Eat.
Chop veggies, boil eggs, make kabobs, ream 15 lemons, make lavender simple syrup, parboil potatoes, mix marinade.
Watch Britney's clump of mascara flutter in the tear soaked wind.
Write obligatory blog entry about mascara clump.

Don't know about you, but I'm feeling toned.