Three years, 15 days

Have you seen these monkey cards? It's some serious weirdness, but in a good way. A very good, weird way. Go send someone a talking monkey card.

I'm awful with anniversaries. In fact, my parents' is the only one I can remember with any regularity and I think that's only because it happens in May along with my mom's birthday and Mother's Day. J and I both forgot our 6-month anniversary, which should have happened in March. I looked at my blog archives when I was being moved over from Blogger and realized I've been at this thing quite awhile. I thought I might do something commemorate the three year mark, which would have been on May 1st, but I forgot about that, too. But this is about it. About the time three years ago when I decided to put my life out here for you people to look at.

I didn't know much about anything. I only knew a handful of people with blogs, and still wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell people when I was reading their sites, or if it really was just an open letter to the world. Some people start off very strong, but my first entries were exceptionally halted. I supposed I could go back and delete all those little posts that were nothing things, the ones that said in their entirety, "It's snowing!" or "Hmm, how do I insert pictures?" or the ones that outlined the day's event in excruciating detail, but I guess I'm a glutton for embarrassment. Or incredibly lazy. Or both!

I'm not under the illusion that a majority of my posts are Great Meaningful Things, but at the same time, where would I be if I'd tossed out everything that ever embarrassed me? I think your mind has this period of time following a trend or a creative expression where the impulse is really strong to destroy any and all evidence that you were ever associated with it. This is why people throw away journals, toss old letter, give away stacks of shiny shirts. It is your mind allowing you to say: I have moved on, I have grown, these things no longer represent me.

But I think if you can push through that uncomfortable time, you eventually hit upon a real sweet spot of perspective. One where you are really able to laugh at yourself. That time is so much better when you have the concrete evidence to back it up. Now is the time in my life that I wish I hadn't gotten rid of my three Girl Talk games, my stacks of Barbie's 80s clothing, the myriad other embarrassments of youth. Maybe I'm afraid if I get rid of all my really bad posts now, I'll have nothing to read for Cringe in 20 years.