I Leave You My Caboodles
Man this week has wiped me out. I am very much looking forward to margaritas on the rooftop tonight. This may very well be the first Cinco de Mayo I will spend in New York not running around at the last minute trying to find a pleasant outdoor bar with drink specials. Progress.
It turns out competitive eating may swallow me whole, yet. So the show I mentioned earlier, Eats of Strength? I was asked to be involved as an "expert" and spent some time Wednesday afternoon being interviewed by George Shea for clips that will appear before some of the eaters' performances. As far as I can tell, the show will feature a specific eater trying to beat a personal or otherwise meaningful record, all to be preceeded by thoughts from "experts" and then addressed by a panel during the event. It's looking like I may also sit on one of these panels shortly. Very exciting. Except I don't get InHD, so I will have to have an uncle in Tulsa record it all and send it my way when it eventually airs. Which is exactly what the InHD people were thinking consumers would do, I'm sure.
To complete my day of speaking publicly, and possibly embarrassing myself EVEN FURTHER, that night was also Cringe, where I brought my little lilac 7th grade journal to a bar in Brooklyn and exposed all my 12-year-old inner workings. Now, as requested, for those who couldn't make it to Freddy's, I present my Cringe material. God help any googlers from my past. Enjoy.
[Note: our school was broken up into teams that were named after animals.]
December 1991
I wonder if I have ever liked anyone as much as I like Zach. He is different than any others. He's cute, funny, witty, smart, intimidating, cool, popular, and has this attitude that's almost bad. I love it. But, I also feel so sorry for him. He is always grounded. His parents rule his life. They grounded him over Winter Break because Bitch-Lady Mrs. Edwards called his parents and told them they should get Zach psychiatric help. The nerve!I love his eyes. Dark brown and mysterious. He always listens to me and looks right into my eyes. I could melt into a puddle whenever he says my name. Some bad things about him are his attitude and Paul. Paul is part of his attitude. Paul is the most popular 7th grade Snow Leopard. He's also insulting, a jerk, loud, sarcastic, and a major pain in the butt. Paul rubbed off on Zach and at times he can be a n egotistical, self inflamed jerk.
Love him lots!
No one's perfect I guess. Tel is such a good friend. If he wasn't such a big mouth, I would tell him everything about my feelings for Zach.
I had a close friend who died in 7th grade. This all affected us in different ways, and it became important to me to create wills, something I did yearly for a while. Here is one of them:
Will, expires: 1993I, Elizabeth, being of sound mind and body, hereby proclaim the following items to the following people:
Briana: This book, and the one written before it (in my toy box), my Luke Perry Poster (big one), and Jason Priestley poster, and my Leonardo DiCaprio one too (if she wants it!), blackmail pictures.
Heather: My trolls and my gnarlie [a stuffed toy I got at a Renaissance Fair], my caboodles with all my make up in it.
Amber: My stereo
Allison: Her toothbrush and toothpaste (on my shelf) [how generous of me to RETURN these to her in my will], my watermelon earrings, and anything else she wants on my jewelry hanger.
Yasmeen: All my notes (on my shelf in a tin near the grey bear).
Summer: My cat picture above my bed (Heather gave it to me and I'm sure Summer will take as good of care of it as I did.)
Jonathan [my brother]: My shredded money, Winter (my teddy bear), miniatures
Tel: Note that follows.
Nakia: Tapes: Boyz II Men, BBD, Miriah Carey, Fresh Price, Amy Grante, etc.
[Note to Tel]
Dear Tel,
Hi, well I guess this is my final goodbye to you. Look, I know I got on your nerves sometimes but I'm really sorry for all the times we didn't get along. I don't know if you knew this, but you were my best guy friend--so thanx for listening to me these last few years. Don't let this bring you down. I'm happy now. I'm sure I'm with Alexis. Hey, did you know I had a big crush on Nathan S. for a while? Tell him. I'll miss him and you , and everyone. I love you guys. Love, Elizabeth
I just saw your post on Urban Honking and it brought me here. I'm from Brooklyn and I've wanted to go to Cringe for some time now. I found an old diary from high school a couple of weeks back and a friend suggested i read it at Freddy's. Even though high school was a long time ago, I’m not sure I’m ready to show my true colors. I applaud you for coming clean about your true feelings regarding Paul.
you are now a competitive eating expert...that is so awesome. congrats!
Wow. The trolls, the gnarlie AND the caboodles! That's love.
I thought Wednesday's Cringe was awesome and you were a huge highlight. Caboodles! Trolls! Seems like you've got more where this came from... so I can't wait to hear more!
Aw, it's just not the same on screen as hearing you read it. Still, awesome. I am happy you preserved this for posterity. This way even if the kitty journal gets lost, your hopes and dreams live on!
Liz, this is one of my favorite blog posts ever in the history of the blogosphere. I might just have to bookmark it forever. The reasons:
"Note: our school was broken up into teams that were named after animals."
"His parents rule his life."
"Paul is the most popular 7th grade Snow Leopard."
"Paul rubbed off on Zach and at times he can be an egotistical, self inflamed jerk. Love him lots!"
"my Luke Perry Poster (big one), and Jason Priestley poster, and my Leonardo DiCaprio one too (if she wants it!), blackmail pictures." [Blackmail pictures!?]
"My trolls and my gnarlie"
I wonder if 12 year old Liz could imagine the precious jewels her future self would find here. So what ever happened with Zach and his beautiful eyes!?
And congrats on your eating expert status! I'm guessing you'll have a fan site annnnnny day now.
oh man liz - I'm crying, that was so so good and hilarious and heartwarming too. I just love you.
Thank you!!!
This entry has changed my life.
This is one of the best things I have ever read.
Liz, from the beginning ("Bitch-Lady") to the end ("Boyz II Men"), this is just so fantastic. I'm fascinated with the fact that you made a will, which is so wonderful and sweet and heartbreaking.
Also--I love that you placed a "repeal" date on it for 1993!
Well, the real punch line is that there's a new will the next year where many of the items are the same but the people have changed. Can you get more middle school?
Who knows what happened to Zach? Do we ever find out what happens to those crushes?
LIZ OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.
You were fantastic. The snow leopard thing killed me.
Thank you so very much for even thinking of leaving me something in your will. I was glad to be a part of the Snow Leopard Team because we really were the smartest in the school. As one of the few African Americans in the group, however, I often did feel isolated, and hanging out with all of you did help me a lot in that area. Alexis was the one that really brought me to the group with all of our gaa fnaa snfaaing. When she died, I felt like a part of me died as well. I never created a will, but I did go through several years of trying to understand myself and getting to know me. Looking back, I can't believe that I told people that I was mixed (half white and half black) to hope that they would accept me. I felt different from most of the other black students at Place because I was a Snow Leopard, and there were only a handful of other black students in the group. Even amongst the others, Tel and I were often set aside in class and in how the teachers treated us. I liked Paul because he was rebellious, and though he actually was bi-racial, he seemed to have a greater sense of peace about who he was at the time. Saying all of that, I wish I would not have seperated myself so much after Alexis' death. I also wish I would have been more honest with all of my friends, because maybe I would have still been able to express my blackness without hurting those around me. Now looking back on my life, after Middle School, I went through many emotional difficulties, including multiple suicide attempts--all related to self acceptance. I wish I would have accepted myself more, but all of my experiences have shaped me into the woman I am now. Peace