Last week kinda got lost.

Last week kinda got lost. The 826NYC event went well, and Cringe turned out to be a lot of fun, but I somehow got sick in the midst of it all and didn’t end up going into work on Thursday. You might guess that I would have used that opportunity to write, but you would be wrong. I used that opportunity to sleep and watch bad daytime television and all the accompanying commercials. My favorite commercial was one that encouraged viewers to send in all their “gold scraps” for money, which cracked me up so much I had to call J at work and tell him about it. They kept saying “gold scraps” like they were talking about empty paint buckets piled up in the garage or something. And they’d show a picture of some “scraps,” which included rings, watches, and other jewelry and an old lady holding up a check and saying, “I got $600.00 for MY gold scraps!” I loved that the announcer mentioned “dental fillings” in his list of “scraps” you could send in. Do people actually own gold fillings? That aren’t in their mouths? That are just lying around? I’m going to set up a new bin next to my paper and metal recycling just for gold.

Much of Friday was spent watching this video of a dog with no front legs who walks upright like a little human and discussing the seemingly limitless way in which we could freak people out if we had such a dog. What if we put a bikini top on her? What if we put her in a little dress? What if we made some sort of costume that involved fake human arms? What then?? What if we could make the fake human arms holding something? Would this work on a cat? Conclusion: Must get front-legless dog.

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