Elliott Eats Crawlies

I don’t know what I would have done with my life if I hadn’t flipped back in time to see Kelly Pickler singing “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Me: Oh god, what if I’d MISSED seeing this? Also, she is a skinny girl, but those pants aren’t doing her any favors.
J: That’s because they’re Joan Jett’s pants.
Me: But they’re black and should be flattering…but they are so not.
J: I’m telling you, it’s because they are Joan Jett’s pants. Anyone who puts them on immediately has Joan Jett’s proportions.

Elliott continues to creep me the fuck out. We continued with our “just crawled out of a hole to kill people” scenario for him. Especially when they showed the picture of him in his college radio booth.

Me (in Elliott voice): Aargh! The light! The light!
J (in Elliott voice): I like to eat crawlies.

The Queen theme for the evening made a strange set of songs. I joked about “We Are the Champions” coming on, since it seemed like the most unlikely song to be included in the evening’s repertoire given it’s particularly un-American Idolness nature. J mentioned Taylor Hicks singing it and that seemed to me the convergence to the two most unlikely events to happen in the evening.

Me: I will give you $100 if Taylor Hicks sings “We Are the Champions.” One hundred dollars.
Taylor Hicks: I was going to sing “We Are the Champions”
Me: NO!
J: Ha! You owe me $100!
Taylor Hicks: But then I decided to switch to “A Crazy Little Thing Called Love.”
J: Ohhh.
Me: God, that was close.