This rain is giving me

This rain is giving me some bad Tacoma flashbacks. I've heard approximately 35 ark jokes in the past week. You know what is more fun than going out in the rain? Going out in the rain to go to a government office to stand on line for hours in order to fill out some paperwork and get a new social security card. I was entertained by two high school girls who were standing behind me and a woman standing in front of me who all got to talking while I tried to read my New Yorker. In two hours of line time you can learn a lot about people.

High school girl one: from Trinidad. Failed citizenship test last year, and is too lazy to take test again. Must get new ss card because her child tore up her old one and the job she just got at a jeans store in Manhattan won't let her start without one. She was very worried about being late to her first day of work.

High school girl two: adopted boyfriend's child, whose mother was described as "some female" and "a real character." Child looked "Spanish" when born. Has been to court. Knows how to hide a razor in her mouth. Met father only once; last year while getting her hair done and drinking with her friends, she found out he'd been shot and killed, but she didn't care.

Woman: whispered bomb jokes as we approached metal detector, then acknowledged that you can't really make jokes like that anymore. Was getting ss card for her child. Was upset that form asked for parents' ss numbers, as she'd never know her father. Has friend who worked at Children's Place and who would pretend to ring her up for items, while really just stealing them for her.

I'm glad to be back to the fall TV lineup, although what the fuck is up with Vaughn being killed on "Alias?" Will I even be able to watch the show again with not-Vaughn all hangin' around and lil-Sid all crying and wrinkling her forehead and waiting to be new-Sid? Ug, I just don't know.

I'm sorta lukewarm on "Martha's Apprentice" though I thoroughly enjoyed her not paying any attention to who was brought into the boardroom and firing whoever she damn felt like. And I loved that she pronounced “M&Ms” with very distinct syllables like they were some crazy foreign candy she’d only heard about.

“Apprentice” has been pretty good. I’m mostly impressed by the Dairy Queen costume the men came up with, because: damn. DAMN, that was funny! A bunch of us were watching and nearly lost our shit altogether seeing their voluptuous, vision being brought to life by Big Man With Obvious Penis.

Jayla from ANTM has been bugging me, and I finally figured out why. It’s because she’s really Norelle.

Last night after Krista’s little “Apprentice” party, we called a car to come pick our sorry selves up and take us home. We waited outside under umbrellas until a little car pulled up.

Liz: Do you think that’s him?
J: No, the car’s too small.
[rains]
Liz: He’s still sitting there; I’m just gonna go check. *Jogs up to car window and makes universal gesture for “Are you the car we just called?”*
Driver: *nods*
Liz: He says he’s the driver! *gets in car. Back seat filled with stuff. Which is…sorta strange. Clears stuff off for J, who goes around to other side. Driver unlocks door for him. Settle in. Something is...off.*
Liz: Are you the car we called?
Driver: Yes.
Liz: Okay…we’re going to [intersection]?
Driver: Huh?
Liz: [intersection]
Driver: Oh, this no taxi! No taxi.
Liz: Huh?
Driver: No taxi!
Liz: The hell…? *Climb out* I think we just got in the middle of a drug deal!
J: You think?

We resume standing on the raining sidewalk. Minutes later a hooded guy jogs out of the neighboring apartment building and gets in the car. Gets out of the car 30 seconds later and heads down the street. Car drives off.

Liz: Definitely.

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