October 2005 Archives

I got to Krista’s early last night, just as she was finishing up an episode of Lost that I haven’t seen yet. I ran outside and wandered around in the cold for ten minutes rather than accidentally overhear something. I called J on his cell, only to find he had also stopped by early and took cover in the streets, lest he find out the whole plane crash thing is really just Jack’s dream as he lies in a coma somewhere.* J was comic book browsing, so I used the time to frantically scan the nearby bodegas for signs of pumpkins. The party tonight is actually a pumpkin carving party, wherein we are supposed to bring pumpkins to carve, and wherein none of us have done that yet. Even though when we did this a few years ago we learned the hard way that the stores try to purge their pumpkin supply right at Halloween so they don’t have a bunch of rotty leftovers come November 1st. From my quick approximation, we will have exactly one sunken-in pumpkin to choose from for tonight. Cross your fingers for a hearty untapped supply out in Sunset Park.

After regrouping at Krista’s we started right in on the cookie decapitating. This was mostly a lot of fun, as you could decide that your victim was a clown or a prostitute or a vampire stripper and dress them up all nice with shiny icing outfits and pretty sprinkle “skin conditions”…then draw a fat red icing mark across their necks and take a pointy cheese spreader guillotine to ‘em! It was great fun. There’re pictures somewhere, so prepare yourselves for the sugary carnage and I’ll get them up as soon as possible.

Honestly, are you a little bored with Apprentice? I mean, I realized right off the bat that there were no secret monsters or Creepy Ethans or even a plane crash in the episode, so that might have factored into my boredom, but still, I was a bit: eh. UNTIL! The best boardroom ever! I know they always say that, but this one really may have been the most satisfying firing since Stacy R. got the hatchet. I especially enjoyed watching Jennifer’s hair, which she parts somewhere around her ear, and then sweeps it over her whole head in a glorious cowlick. I don’t know if this is how Miss Oregons’ always do it, or if it was done in some sort of homage to Trump’s own sweepy do, but it is quite a style to behold. It’s all I can do to keep from lunging at the television in an attempt to tussle her hair up good. Anyway, the more upset she got last night, the more the hair began to fall down and over from it’s sprayed wave, like even the hair could sense that Jennifer’s battle was futile and the whole thing was about to end. In case you missed it, he fired four people at once. FOUR! And to make it even better, they all walked out together and climbed into the back of the cab together and stared silently past the camera filming them in the front seat. Best cab ride ever.

*God help the writers if this ends on ANY sort of “It was all just a crazy hallucination!” note.

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Tonight we will ice some cookie people and then decapitate them. Red icing will flow. Vanilla flavored red icing. I will also be proceeding directly to Krista’s to partake in our coveted Apprentice night. I’m trying very hard not to think about it as non-Lost night, but honestly we watched the Claire episode last night? With the psychic? And creepy Ethan? Holy balls! I’m a little concerned because we counted the Season One discs and there are seven of them, one of which is special scenes. We are on the third disc, meaning we are almost halfway DONE and I don’t think I entered into this Lost relationship fully realizing that there would come a time when there would be no more Lost. What will I do! Willow has informed me that she has a friend who is TiVoing the current season for her, so she will be able to make a smooth, commercial-free transition. AM I GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE SECOND SEASON COMES OUT ON DVD?? Won’t that take a really long time? Should I fly out to Portland to watch TiVo with Willow?

Remember when I was making fun of that knot.com message board thread about people missing wedding planning and having post-wedding depression and there was the one lady who wasn’t even getting married for a year, but was posting because she was anticipating missing wedding planning? That is me and Lost. There is no difference. I am a crazy lady. Is there a message board I can join?

I missed the first half of ANTM because I forgot it came on at 8:00 instead of 9:00 and we were watching the Claire episode. So I only caught the end, which was the perfect time to hear Miss J tell one of the models that she needed to pretend she was wearing taffeta all the time and that he wanted to feel more “Cruncha cruncha” (or something) coming from her. Models should always exude cruncha cruncha.

So I think J and I may be on our own for Christmas this year. We usually head to Denver, but I slacked on getting plane tickets and now they cost approximately one trillion dollars. Which is a lot! Anyway, I’ve never not spent Christmas with my family, so this will be a little weird. The only point of reference my brain is giving about a Couple’s First Christmas is that we’re supposed to be huddled in a sparse apartment with a Charlie Brown tree drinking cocoa and listening to old carols on the crap stereo. I would have tried to make a delicious seven-course meal, but the oven would have broken and the hot water run out and I would have accidentally added powdered soap to the cookie dough instead of sugar, and that whole mess would be in the background.

Don’t you feel sad for us? Well don’t worry, because we’ll find a way to exchange small but meaningful gifts and the cats will join in the huddle and the music will swell aaaand…pan out to snowy street! See, it all works out in the end.

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My eyes might just fall out of my head. I think I have been doing too much of the reading/computer sitting/television watching this week and my eyes feel like they’ve been replaced with peeled grapes. We watched four episodes of Lost last night and I have a question: no one knows how to distill water? Granted, the discovery of fresh water was not long off, but seriously. They can cobble together receivers and medical supplies and shelters, and no one can figure out how to play with a tarp and some ocean water? Even by accident? Sayid must have been sick the day the Republican Guard covered that between creating antennas and going over effective torturing devices. Embarrassing!

Miss Zoot had a baby and blogged through almost the whole ordeal (except the passed out times, but even then her husband slipped in an entry). Craziness! Also: cuteness!

I have last month's issue of GQ on my desk at work and Cameron's boob keeps distracting me:

It's all at a weird angle and working oddly with the scrap of flesh below the bikini top. It keeps looking at me.

Today is my brother's birthday. Because I live in a fashion capitol and have fairly good taste, I am allowed to give him clothes for occasions that warrant gifts. Since those times are typically in cold weather, I usually end up getting him a sweater. At some point, I realized I always seemed to get him a variation on the same theme, namely some sort of blue sweater with some sort of stripes involved. Good-looking blues and stripes, mind you, I just realized I was maybe in a sweater rut. My brother, he is a picky dude, though. You can’t just go flinging things in a cart and expect him to wear things like (gasp!) BUTTON UP shirts with (horrors!) COLLARS or (no!) V-NECK SHIRTS or logos or, like, orange. He tends to like earthen tones and, uh, blue sweaters with stripes, so I guess that’s why I gravitate where I do. Point is, I found a nice white sweater that I thought he would enjoy this year. I liked the design, but thought it might be a little strangely cut, so was hemming and hawing over it. Finally I just turned to the first guy I saw and asked his opinion. He was of average build and addressed me very seriously, with a bit of a European accent. This whole transaction took place without him smiling once.

Liz: Hey! Do you think this sweater is cut a little weird? Do you think it’s okay?
Guy: It looks good.
Liz: You don’t think this part where it comes in will be weird on?
Guy: You want me to try it on?
Liz: Uh…sure!
Guy: [pulling it over shirt] Normally I would wear this in a small, as I don’t like, you know, it too baggy here. This is too big for me. [smoothing it out] This is nice.
Liz: [seeing it’s fine and now feeling a bit embarrassed] Great! Looks good.
Guy: [starts doing a little catwalk walk up and down the aisle]
Liz: Ha ha! [to salesgirl] See? You should hire him to show off your clothes here!
Guy: [taking sweater off] I don’t need a job.

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I’d just like to know who is in charge of making our vacations sunny and beautiful while ensuring our return to New York will be greeted with hurricane residue and disgusting sloppy streets. ‘Cause I’d punch ‘em. Seriously, we’re starting to wonder if divine forces are telling us to move west, or possibly telling us to buy better rain gear and water-resistant shoes.

The night before we left for Denver, Krista came over and we devoured the first few episodes of Lost. Holy! I didn’t even know it was legal to package crack as dvds and allow people to sit and consume it in the comfort of their living rooms. And with cute little Netflix as the dealer, too. Suffice it to say, it only took about 15-minites of watching before we decided that waiting for subsequent episodes to arrive periodically in our mailbox might actually kill us, and we promptly bought the whole series.

Here’s something interesting to do: watch the pilot episode of Lost, then sleep for approximately four hours, then board a plane. This is endless fun, kids! And in case you want some extra excitement, you might try starting to read Stiff while waiting to board said plane. Then not only will you thinking about the back end of the plane ripping off, you will additionally have some gruesome imagery of cadavers in your mind as you eventually drift off to sleep on the plane. So if there is a little turbulence while you’re asleep, your brain can turn that into wonderfully realistic dreams about horrible crashes involving the plane you are currently sitting in.

The reception was a lot of fun. Lots of people, lots of food. Though we did eventually run through almost all the food. And if you know my mom at all, you will know that that is huge. People did not take the “come hungry” advice lightly. The sun was bright, the air crisp, the friends plentiful, and the altitude high: everything seemed very autumn and happy.

After the party a bunch of us headed out to see our friends’ scary play, “Horror: The Transformation.” This was hands down the creepiest performance I’ve ever seen. They made very good use of all your senses, the creepiest effect being a prolonged, loud base noise that resonated up through the seats and drowned out your ability to hear anything else. That, combined with excellent usage of scary pitch black moments, and scenery that included walls with hands stretching into them, and really scary “magic” tricks, made for an unsettling show. Oh, and that the two children were played by ghosty puppets. Though I did jump out of my seat a few times and grab onto J’s arm more than once, I felt less frightened than completely freaked out. The imagery kinda sticks in your brain.

So then I had that going for me too on the plane ride back from Denver.

I’m going to a Halloween party on Friday and am thinking of bringing little iced cookie corpses with decapitated heads. Too much?

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I decided to just give up entirely on Alias last night, so that J could watch Smallville, arguably his favorite show on TV. (As per previous discussion re: dead Vaughn and not-Sid, giving up Alias wasn’t really a sacrifice.) I have mixed feelings about Smallville. I will admit that I kinda like episodes like last night’s where they’re really dealing with some meaty parts of the Superman myth and messing around with introducing other superheroes. These episodes are fun to watch because J fills me in on what’s so interesting about Aquaman saying his mom died (references one of several plot line choices in the comics). My inner nerd likes all this. But then there are the episodes where people are possessed and become vampires or witches or Crazy, and those always involve the Crazy person making out with some unsuspecting person (Lana) who then gets Angry at Crazy because WHY would they do something so out of CHARACTER, completely forgetting the reasons why Crazy People kissed her the past eleven times (ie Meteors). And then shit goes down and everyone’s back to normal and not-Crazy apologizes while lying in the dark dark hospital.

Anyway, J’s so cute about explaining stuff, and you can practically hear his heart start racing when they make sly references to the comic book stuff by giving pre-Aquaman an Aquaman belt. Like last night, pre-Aquaman jokes to Clark, “We could team up, join the Junior Lifeguard Association together.” To which Clark replies, “I don’t think I’m ready for the [wait for it] JLA.” And all over America, you could hear nerds’ heads exploding with glee.

So, did you think this wedding madness was over? Well you were WRONG! Tomorrow we head to Denver for reception part II. I get to wear jeans to this one, though, so we’re working with some major differences right off the bat. I’m really looking forward to seeing all my Denver peeps and my Tulsa family, who drove into town. My mom made a whole lotta food, so if you’re reading this in Denver and it’s not Saturday afternoon yet: come hungry. I’m also psyched to go see a show at my friends’ theater, Buntport. It’s a scary play, apparently. My mom wrote to see what the minimum age should be (to see if it would be okay for my younger cousins to go) and this is the response she got: “As for the lower age limit I'll leave that up to you. There is no swearing but there are actual jump-out-of-your-seat scares, murder and many people told me that they were actually scared after the show. I talked about it with the group and we think it would get a PG-13 rating if it were a movie.” I am SO into jump-out-of-your-seat scares, so this should be good.

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This is probably one of those things that’s been around for a million years and I’m just hearing about it now, but there is a reason for the saying “better late than never.” Also let it be known that this is a mean trick played on an unsuspecting, goodhearted person. But I have old-fashioned taste in gags, in that I believe it is more funny to see someone scared out of their mind than really frustrated. ANYWAY, I practically peed my pants watching this video.

And I think they FINALLY slipped the drugs into the models’ water to get some drama started on the show. I thought I might have to go this whole season without anyone getting in a bar fight or making out in a hot tub. Getting to see whackadoo Lisa get called a “drunk bitch” and not have a comeback was classic, as was watching her have a conversation at night with a shaggy bush she kept calling “Cousin Itt.”* As in, “We’re the same, Cousin It. Nobody understands us.” Or something to that effect. Also, watching Jayla transform from a big-ear-Norelle to a maniacal, seething lunatic after Nik’s blood was pretty great. I wish I had a screen shot of the uncontrollable, evil grin she gave when Nik ended up in the bottom two. It was the same look the evil child in the movie gives right before she drowns the neighbor boy or kills someone with her mind.

I was going through a bunch of old papers looking for a receipt last night (a lost, lost receipt, representing an expensive item I can no longer return. *weep*), and I ended up sifting through all the cards we got for the engagement, shower, and wedding, and I am absolutely amazed that there isn’t a single repeat card. Not one. There are definitely more than a hundred all told, and I it blows my mind that out of all the friends and relatives, many of them probably shopping in the same areas, not a single one picked up the same card as another person. I guess this counts as some kind of triumph for the card companies.

UPDATE!

Sally is my hero for finding this site, which has this picture of crazy Jayla at elimination:

Life is just so sweet sometimes. Go to the site to catch a glimpse of Cousin Itt*, too.

* Thanks, Ahe!

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Ha! The evil forces at Netflix that were holding the first season of Lost on permanent “Very Long Wait” status finally cracked and are sending us the first disc! I am very excited to get pulled into it, and we’ve been going out of our way for over a year to not get any hints about plot development or characters or anything. I’m afraid it will become much harder as we start learning characters’ names and then have to filter out people’s comments on the current season. Inevitably someone will write a “I can’t believe Vaugh dies!” post (sorry, Heather!) and I will read it and it will be sucky for me. But this is the life I chose to live when they put Lost on opposite The Apprentice last season. Why can’t television people understand that Mondays and Tuesdays are crappy days for television BECAUSE they don’t put good shows on then? Honestly, I’m much more likely to be sitting at home hoping to suck something even vaguely entertaining from the TV at the beginning of the week. If something fun is going to come up that involves not watching TV, chances are it involves me missing ANTM or Apprentice.

Another question for the universe (or you people): what’s the deal with parking signs not spelling “every day” correctly. I was all bent out of shape in San Francisco when I noticed that ALL their parking signs looked like this:

But then I got back to New York and it’s the same here. They even have an entire blank line where the word could stretch out into its correct two-word form. Wouldn’t you think it would take a long string of government people to get a permanent street sign created? Wouldn’t you think at least one of them would be well versed in grammar? Am I missing something? Is there an exception to the usage of “everyday” as it pertains to parking?

The office down the hall is having their annual huge sale. This business is one that sells such things as very expensive leopard print stools, martini glasses with monkeys, and jungle-themed china. Such things as you might find in your Jewish grandmother in Florida’s condo. Weeks are spent preparing for this giant sale, and when it finally gets here, the floor is overrun with distinguished white-haired ladies who wear approximately 7 gallons of perfume apiece. The result is that all of the bathroom air is slowly overtaken with perfume molecules (do they reapply the perfume in there or does it just come to life in an enclosed area?) and eventually your throat burns a bit because people are meant to breath oxygen and not perfume droplets. These ladies are also an endless source of entertainment for me. This morning I overheard one remark that she was “semi-thrilled, but not totally thrilled” with her gains, then at lunch there was a routine fire drill and it freaked all the old ladies out. The guy running the drill was giving us a run down of exits when the elevator arrived and an old lady interrupted him with a slightly wild, “I’m just a customer! I’m just trying to get down! Can I leave???”

Here’s some irregular jelly bellies we got on the factory tour while in Cali. They call them “Belly Flops” and in spite of being scary, they are goood. Also, I completely caved and bought a Flickr Pro account. Stay tuned.

Freaky, but delicious

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People’s favorite question lately is to ask Jason and I if we feel any different being married. I kinda wish I had a better answer for that like, “Wow, yes! Everything glows yellow now and our fully realized love envelopes us both throughout our daily lives.” But honestly, I just feel glad we’re done planning the wedding and am enjoying getting back to free weekends and sleeping in together and all that. Since the wedding didn’t correspond with any other big event (moving in together, buying a house, being pregnant, getting a new job) everything has pretty much stayed the same. And since I think our relationship was pretty rock solid and sharing anyway, I guess being married just feels like extra jimmies on the sundae. I’m mostly having trouble signing my new name or saying it correctly when making a phone call. THAT feels different. By several syllables.

I’ve been getting some pictures here and there, but I haven’t paid for a Flickr account yet and Yahoo Photos can bite my ass because they just lost a whole bunch of changes I made trying to rearrange and label as necessary. And since I haven’t done anything near as exciting as climbing in a drug dealer’s car since last time I’ve posted, I’ll just give you some nice visuals.

Fussing with the dress at the hotel room

Here is the limo, held open by my brother, who was really cute and rode up front with the driver so we could have our girl time in the back. Even though the limo was approximately 476-feet long.

Here's us a-dancin'.

In this one, we J and are are two minutes away from making a break and heading off into the night, but we were captured for photos. I like this one because everyone's a little sweaty, which is really true to the moment. The sweat, that is.

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This rain is giving me some bad Tacoma flashbacks. I've heard approximately 35 ark jokes in the past week. You know what is more fun than going out in the rain? Going out in the rain to go to a government office to stand on line for hours in order to fill out some paperwork and get a new social security card. I was entertained by two high school girls who were standing behind me and a woman standing in front of me who all got to talking while I tried to read my New Yorker. In two hours of line time you can learn a lot about people.

High school girl one: from Trinidad. Failed citizenship test last year, and is too lazy to take test again. Must get new ss card because her child tore up her old one and the job she just got at a jeans store in Manhattan won't let her start without one. She was very worried about being late to her first day of work.

High school girl two: adopted boyfriend's child, whose mother was described as "some female" and "a real character." Child looked "Spanish" when born. Has been to court. Knows how to hide a razor in her mouth. Met father only once; last year while getting her hair done and drinking with her friends, she found out he'd been shot and killed, but she didn't care.

Woman: whispered bomb jokes as we approached metal detector, then acknowledged that you can't really make jokes like that anymore. Was getting ss card for her child. Was upset that form asked for parents' ss numbers, as she'd never know her father. Has friend who worked at Children's Place and who would pretend to ring her up for items, while really just stealing them for her.

I'm glad to be back to the fall TV lineup, although what the fuck is up with Vaughn being killed on "Alias?" Will I even be able to watch the show again with not-Vaughn all hangin' around and lil-Sid all crying and wrinkling her forehead and waiting to be new-Sid? Ug, I just don't know.

I'm sorta lukewarm on "Martha's Apprentice" though I thoroughly enjoyed her not paying any attention to who was brought into the boardroom and firing whoever she damn felt like. And I loved that she pronounced “M&Ms” with very distinct syllables like they were some crazy foreign candy she’d only heard about.

“Apprentice” has been pretty good. I’m mostly impressed by the Dairy Queen costume the men came up with, because: damn. DAMN, that was funny! A bunch of us were watching and nearly lost our shit altogether seeing their voluptuous, vision being brought to life by Big Man With Obvious Penis.

Jayla from ANTM has been bugging me, and I finally figured out why. It’s because she’s really Norelle.

Last night after Krista’s little “Apprentice” party, we called a car to come pick our sorry selves up and take us home. We waited outside under umbrellas until a little car pulled up.

Liz: Do you think that’s him?
J: No, the car’s too small.
[rains]
Liz: He’s still sitting there; I’m just gonna go check. *Jogs up to car window and makes universal gesture for “Are you the car we just called?”*
Driver: *nods*
Liz: He says he’s the driver! *gets in car. Back seat filled with stuff. Which is…sorta strange. Clears stuff off for J, who goes around to other side. Driver unlocks door for him. Settle in. Something is...off.*
Liz: Are you the car we called?
Driver: Yes.
Liz: Okay…we’re going to [intersection]?
Driver: Huh?
Liz: [intersection]
Driver: Oh, this no taxi! No taxi.
Liz: Huh?
Driver: No taxi!
Liz: The hell…? *Climb out* I think we just got in the middle of a drug deal!
J: You think?

We resume standing on the raining sidewalk. Minutes later a hooded guy jogs out of the neighboring apartment building and gets in the car. Gets out of the car 30 seconds later and heads down the street. Car drives off.

Liz: Definitely.

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Dear stomach, While I appreciate the fact that you have been indulgently filled with an exorbitant amount of decadent food for the past two weeks, I would like to gently remind you that the honeymoon is indeed over and I can no longer provide you with the foods you are so desperately craving, neither in quality nor quantity. I know for a fact you are usually fine with a bowl of cereal and some tea and a light lunch, and I’m actually finding it rather annoying that you’re grumbling around not half an hour after I gave you the latter. Furthermore, even if I wanted to give you heaping portions of delicious things cooked in butter and heated to a crisp, I don’t have access to those things anymore. I have some dry Raisin Bran, a V8, and $1 to buy something, all of which I’ve offered you and which you’ve rebuffed. Lastly, I shouldn’t have to remind you that there is no more fridge full of chocolate cake to have whenever you want. Stop it with the cravings.

Sincerely,

Liz

Dear California,
We had the pleasure of visiting you on a recent trip, and found everything much to our liking. I do believe we may have left behind something and I’m wondering if there’s any chance of you shipping it back or perhaps just giving it a big shove eastward? It’s that hard-to-miss burning star up there? Yeah, it seems New York is just a giant sopping mess without it and, frankly, I don’t know how much longer we’ll last without it. Thanks in advance.

Much appreciated,

Liz

Dear Subconscious Wry Sense of Humor,
Perhaps I deserved to be taken advantage of in my sleepy and disoriented state this morning, and although discovering on the subway that I did not have my reading glasses, but DID have two glow-in-the-dark condoms from a certain bachelorette party is admittedly humorous, it does not help me look at the computer screen or read piles of slush. Perhaps your timing could have been more appropriate.

Best,

Liz

Dear J,
I apologize for identifying A Knight's Tale as your favorite movie. I officially qualify the statement with it being ONE of your favorites. I acknowledge here that you also really like Popeye.

Love, Liz

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You know what is difficult? Facing a blog entry that’s supposed to cover a wedding, a honeymoon, and two weeks away from the computer. Where do I even start? I suppose when in doubt, lists will never fail you. Forgive the broad overview; I’m sure detailed stories will come in time and I will be happy to answer any burning questions left unaddressed. But generally: married life = awesome.

Unexpected/humorous events

There had been some minor fretting about a limo my mom had ordered to take us girls from the hotel to the Picnic House, as she’d ordered an 8-seater and we thought we might have to squish a bit. We’re still not sure what happened, but what pulled up in front of the Marriott was the biggest, SUVist, glowing display panel-ist, pimped out ride of a limousine. We all piled in and took up approximately one eighth of the length of the car. We also sipped some complimentary champagne.

The bridesmaids apparently coached the groomsmen in how to walk down the aisle, but this translated into a hilarious lurching shuffle on behalf of the guys (apparently. I haven’t seen the video yet).

The officiant decided it would be fun if she started narrating a bit and gave a play-by-play on some of the wedding party as they headed down the aisle. (“This is my fault; I told them they should walk slowly!” “There’s George, the ringbearer!” If anyone glanced outside at that point they would have seen me smiling nicely while whispering frantically at my parents, “What is she doing?!”

All our friends bursting into a spot-on rendition of the choreographed dance from A Knight’s Tale (J’s favorite movie. I know.). I could not have been more thrilled. Honestly, it was like we were living inside a teen movie. I about died from happiness.

We had a slight car “situation” after the reception, in that there were no cars. Apparently they won’t enter the park without a permit and much trouble ensued. There was a brief moment where J and I were standing on Prospect Park West in full wedding clothes trying to hail a car. This turned out to be nothing compared to what eventually happened to my parents who, after failing to find a car to pick them and all the equipment up, ended up in a Penske truck with the Picnic House crew, my mom sitting on my dad’s lap. There is a picture of this somewhere and I am dying to see it.

Coming home from our honeymoon, we had a three hour layover in Denver. I called my mom and she told me she was headed to the airport at that very minute because my dad’s flight (he was on a canoe trip) was coming in early. We got all excited and ran to surprise him at his gate. Who gets an at-the-gate greeting anymore? It was so fun. He gave us some bottles of fancy Minnesota soda and we gave him a bottle of rosemary olive oil from Napa. It was fun.

Delicious things eaten and drunk

The cupcakes, oh lord, the cupcakes! This was the only thing (save a mushroom puff) I ate the entire night. And good gracious it was divine.

Room service ordered on wedding night, consisting of two grilled cheeses, piles of French fries, tons of ketchup, some pickles, and ice water, eaten in bed while watching the end of Saturday Night Live. Bliss.

[moving right along into the honeymoon]

San Francisco is awesome. They have burritos they make with potatoes. Potatoes = sheer genius addition to Mexican food.

SF also has Ghiradeli Square, which if you are a chocoholic like Jason, was like hearing, oh hey SF has heaven right over here by Fishermen’s Warf. Angels and halos and eternal happiness, right here in this city, who knew? I am slightly embarrassed to say we went there twice, both times visiting both stores where they give you free samples, and both times ordering this super crazy sundae they make with hot fudge and the brownie and warm cookie, etc.

Grilled spicy cornbread.

Some sort of caramel mousse that leaked chocolate and liquid gold caramel when you dipped in.

The inn we stayed at in Napa Valley served a three course breakfast every morning. EVERY morning! Fruit course, French toast/scone/pancake/etc course, egg course. With fresh squeezed orange juice and hot coffee. They kept a whole fridge full of snacks and wine, along with an entire chocolate cake that was constantly replenished. Sometimes we ate cake for lunch. BY THE POOL! Ha, life was hard.

[at some point, my body stopped being able to distinguish “hungry” from “not full” and there were many MANY things consumed for not solely nourishing purposes.]

Cornbread served in a skillet.

A very expensive wine tasting that some random lady bought for me because she was a member or something and could get it for free. I cannot lie: a $160 bottle of cabernet tastes gooood.

The dirtiest martini I’ve ever had, sipped while at a country club with my uncle at Pebble Beach overlooking the fog roll over the ocean just past the 15th hole (prior to this trip, I wouldn’t have understood that either. It’s a big golf thing. Or THE big golf thing. Mmm, martinis!)

Quick, an anecdote!

While driving in a parking garage, I came too close to a wall and smashed part of the bumper of the rental car. We didn’t notice until later when there was a distinct piece dangling off. We decided to ignore it until the last night, where we purchased some superglue and frantically tried to slap it back on. It looked pretty shitty, so we made the next logical conclusion that we needed to fix it up a bit with a black sharpie. I managed to procure a marker from a gas station attendant (with whom I ended up in this extravagant lie about cracking my dad’s car’s bumper and him being away on a trip and he was coming into the airport TONIGHT! That’s what happens if you smile and gently agree to things attendants guess at). You won’t believe this, but the marker made it worse because, oh, it looked exactly like marker on a car. After officially vandalizing the car, making peace with the thought of having to buy a new bumper, we returned the car the next morning to a guy who barely glanced at it before sliding the standard paperwork across the desk and dismissing us. We felt very good about this, but then my dad told us cracking a bumper isn’t any big deal at all and rental companies expect stuff like that. So, in the end, good for everyone.

End this thing already!

I missed you all! Seriously. I confess that I checked email twice over the honeymoon and ended up sneaking into blogland to see if Amalah and Zoot had their babies (yes and no) or if anyone had posted wedding pics (Willow) or general recaps (Krista). I’m excited to be back online!

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