One dollar and eighty-seven cents
Let’s not talk about rain. Let’s talk about Morning Star Breakfast Strips, or what we refer to as “facon.” Facon is delicious. It tastes basically like one long strip of Bacos, and resembles something a child with access to pink and white Play-Doh might make if they were attempting a bacon-like sculpture. I find facon very delicious, but J has a near obsessive love for the facon. It’s calmed down a bit from when we first discovered it, but for awhile, he would make the whole package at once and set to eating all of it, with a few pieces tossed my way. Yes, it is made from soy, but a closer look at the nutritional information will tell you that it is also made from fat. In fact, I think Morning Star worked hard to make the soy to fat ratio as similar as possible to the meat to fat ratio of real bacon. J would sometimes get stomachaches.
Unlike garden burgers, which all stores have, only select stores will carry the whole Morning Star line and include facon in the lineup. When we lived in Park Slope, we had our facon joints mapped out by price, and could pretty much enjoy it whenever we so desired. Moving to Sunset Park, as I have discussed before, has severely limited our access to such things as facon or frozen yogurt or other such LUXURY items. So sometimes when we’re in the Slope, we’ll get all giddy like we’re on vacation in Hawaii or something and start buying local fare to eat. “Oh, honey look! Dried mangoes! You love those. Oooo, organic sorbet: yum! And we should stock up on these Baked Tostitos and brie while we can.”
I had to be in Park Slope last night for a bit and decided I’d bring home some facon to make sandwiches (FLTs). While at the store, I was overcome with my frozen yogurt urge and decided to risk the ride home with two frozen pints of Ben and Jerry’s. I was very proud of myself, thinking how overjoyed J was going to be to get facon and frozen yogurt.
We’d had a brief yogurt respite when I had the novel idea a few weeks ago that, hey, maybe I could ask my ghetto Key Foods if they would ORDER frozen yogurt. This idea turned out to be sheer genius and I was directed to Ed the Frozen Food Guy, who promptly ordered an entire shipment of Half Baked. This was awesome. We stocked up, two cartons at a time each time we’d shop. But alas, it seemed to be a one-time gig, and the supply eventually dwindled.
So last night I came home with all the frozen goodies and was all set to surprise J. I set the bags on the counter and pulled out the two cartons at the exact moment J said, “How much do you love me?” and flung the freezer door open revealing two more cartons of Ben and Jerry’s.
I may have just written up the longest description possible of something that could not sound more lame now that I’m staring at it. But at the moment? It was like an anti-O. Henry story where irony is replaced with frozen treats and everyone is happy and love-filled.
Thought:
Sometimes when the subways stall, a pre-recorded message comes over the intercom and says, “We apologize for the unavoidable delay.” But sometimes, you just get, “We apologize for the delay,” which always makes me think the conductor is pissed at someone and going all passive aggressive.
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