My mom has really been

My mom has really been the best through the whole wedding planning. She’s been very good about giving her opinion when asked and not being too intrusive or overbearing about anything. This is very good for my mom, who very much likes to be in control of situations and have the steering wheel in her hands. But there have been a couple times where her desire to impart her opinion leeks through ever so slightly, and it is always in strange places. I can only assume it’s built up over bigger things that she keeps quiet about, and she doesn’t feel too bad about being opinionated over a small thing.

We were working on a list the caterer gave us, picking out the liquors and mixers with which to stock the bar. My mom is big on letting people know she’s “not a big drinker” and that she doesn’t really know the first thing about picking out alcohol types, much less brands. I’m no expert, but I have a pretty good handle on what to offer people. On her first round she checked vodka, bourbon, scotch, vermouth, which I amended to vodka, rum, gin, and whiskey. Then, for some reason, she got very defensive of bourbon and scotch and that “people of a certain generation, especially men, really like it.” I argued that, even if that’s the case, at an open bar at a wedding, no one’s going to be shocked if there’s no scotch. There was a tense mini-fight where we both stood our ground, before deciding it just didn’t matter and we’d defer to the caterer.

We moved on to mixers, where she made sure I had orange juice checked because “people like to mix vodka in it and call it a screwdriver. It’s a popular thing to do.” I thought this was pretty cute. And, even though I have never known anyone to order a screwdriver at a bar, I went along. Maybe because my first alcoholic drink that I was ever served was a screwdriver at my cousin’s wedding, got for me by an older cousin. It was thrilling for me, even if I thought it tasted nasty and ended up pouring it down a bathroom sink at some point.

Overheard on subway:

Teen girl to friend: An “asspocket” is, like, someone who’s a friend who you’re just pissed at; a “buttmonkey” is someone you really hate or don’t care about, like a teacher.

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