Educate Yourself and Vote!

That there is the slogan that's all over the subways and fliers the city is handing out in an effort to encourage the common resident to learn about the candidates and vote in the upcoming primary election. I'm actually embarrassingly bad at keeping up with local politics, and I really would like to be more informed, so I was happy to receive a publication that the city put out that included profiles of all the candidates running for Mayor and with other positions.

And. Oh. Lord.

I don't even know where to begin with most of these candidates, but I'll tell you right now that a good 80% of them have gross typos in the information they (or their press agents) submitted and of those, a portion seem to only have a tenuous grasp on the English language, standard grammar guidelines, and how much they should use ALL CAPS and bolding. Unlucky if you're looking to unseat Bloomburg, very lucky if you enjoy some sweet sweet hilarity. Because I care about the advancement of local political awareness, I'll highlight here a couple of the outstanding mayoral candidates that you might be considering on September 13th:

Here is Jose Adames (D).

Highlights under Occupational Backround include: "Creator of Internet Directory...Writer and singer many articles published in local and international newspapers...15 years taxi driver; knowing the entire City, inside out and vicinities; servint the whole NYC ethnic; etc."

Most important issue for the city? "My whole life have gone around serving people. I'll put people first. Affordable housing and jobs for the people is at most. I'll look to rule a black-out as un-acceptable in this city. I'll look that every public emploee get paid accordingly."

Why best candidate? "I grew up color blinded, I don't see the color of your skin, but the truthfulness of your soul. I love the people and respect the discipline."

If Jose isn't quite fiery enough for you, perhaps you'd enjoy Christopher Xavier Brodeur (D) who likes to list lots of things without context or explanation:

Occupation: "govt watchdog, investigative journalist"

Prior Public Experience: "exposing govt and media corruption"

Most important issue for the city? "NYC is a mess and we can't fix the symptoms--failing schools, potholes, the MTA, Con Ed, trash, graffiti, creim, ect--unless we first fix the totally broken govt...I'm the only candidate who promises to put YOU in carge via referendums on most major issues (like the stupid Freedom Tower, the jets/Nets stadium scams, Nascar, Snapple...)"

Moving right along, we have Anthony David Weiner (D), who I gather is actually quite a favorite:

He is very big on the bolded statements, but gets confused about whether to refer to himself in the first or third person. Like, "Anthony Weiner wil be a fighter for the middle class and all New Yorkers. I will increase teacher salaries to keep the best in City classrooms."

He will also fight for you "everyday."

And what does he believe makes him the best candidate for mayor? "I grew up in a working family in Brooklyn and I live in Queens. I went to public school; my mother was a public school teacher."

Seems there'd be a lot of qualified candidates if that's all it took. It just makes me sad that no one bothered to proof these. I mean, a high school student could have probably produced better copy. Maybe it's the English major snob in me, but I want a mayor that will bother to at least put out the image that he can spell and construct a paragraph.